The makers of Boost Plus Nutritional Energy Drink are surely offering up audible thanks to the Lord this morning, as the Post reports that a Harlem man is suing them because the protein shake gave him " an erection that would not subside." (After they pay up, they'll market the hell out of their boner-improving juice!) Christopher Woods of Harlem was victimized by the permadong, but he wasn't the only one to suffer:

He said the erection lasted for over three days, and his girlfriend "was in disbelief. She couldn't understand what was happening."

We can imagine, although we also think she isn't very bright.

Woods is suing the former manufacturer of the drink, the felicitously named Mead Johnson company. Not to mock the pain and suffering of a fellow human being, but let's be honest: We ever get a marathon boner, we're sending the responsible parties a thank you note and then calling everyone we know just to say "Hey, guess what's up?" Anyway, while we have you here, if we do, let's do a little headline writing, shall we? The Post goes with a serviceable "REAL STIFF DRINK," but we've no doubt you can improve upon that. Our sorry efforts:

  • Energy Drink Hard On Area Man
  • Protein Shake Goes Down Easy, Wang Not So Much
  • Woods' Wood
  • Johnson & Johnson
  • Cocktail!

What you got?

Real Stiff Drink [NYP]