Google-backed startup 23andMe is working on fixing the Bay Area beauty gap by convincing the pretty people at New York's Fashion Week to submit genetic samples for the new, low cost of $399. As non-California residents, Manhattanites represent a genetic talent pool untouched by regulatory agencies in the startup's home state. 23andMe cofounders Anne Wojcicki and Linda Avey, pictured here, see fashionistas as runway dilettantes, and therefore brick-dumb.But by figuring out the single-nucleotide polymorphisms which lead to chiseled features and a high-powered metabolism, Wojcicki might figure out how to make sure her next child with Google cofounder Sergey Brin is healthy, smart and ravishingly beautiful according to media norms. My suggestion? New York's models should be making 23andMe pay them for saliva samples. It's not like Wojcicki, whose startup is already backed by her husband's employer, can't dial for more dollars from Google's new venture investment arm whenever she feels like it.

Hey losers—it's the Democratic primary today in lovely New York Town. "So what," you're saying, "who cares? Are there love-children and hockey moms involved? Was anyone tortured by the Vietnamese?" No, but this election is much more important to you, the voter. Because in November, your vote won't count for shit. New York's electoral votes are a lock for Obama. But today you get to try to unseat the worst politician in all of New York state: Sheldon Silver, Speaker of the New York State Assembly. Silver represents everything wrong with Albany and the New York Democratic Party. He fights relentlessly against accountability and getting anything done to benefit New Yorkers. He rules through backroom dealmaking and no longer even pretends to represent his district. He killed congestion pricing without taking it to a vote on the floor. Blogger 99 lays out more of the case against him:

Remember that male:female demographic map that statistically charted the surplus single females across the nation and made every single woman in New York want to hang herself? Turns out it was somewhat misleading, because it counted everyone between the ages of 20 and 64 and most of the women who read about it on some blog—and who then accordingly expanded the universe of Dudes With Whom They'd Potentially Go Home to include, like, actuaries or men with off-putting tribal tattoos—were probably younger than 40. An amateur statistician named Jonathan Soma with an apparent surplus of free time and something to prove coded the map to make it adjustable by age (and divided by local population), and the sudden sprouting of big blue single male dots makes the situation seem a lot rosier for women……until they reach their mid-forties at least! So there is, it turns out, probably a surplus of single young dudes, and an absolute paucity of single old dudes. Oh yeah, and none of this counts unmarrieds in relationships, which decidedly includes The Gays:

Aways handy with a dubious listicle, Forbes magazine is presenting us with its ranking of America's "Best Cities For Singles." Could Atlanta really be No. 1? Maybe! Dallas at No. 3? Perhaps! But there is no way in hell New York City should come in 8th place. Why? For the same reason this list ranks NYC as number one in the "Cool" category.

The New York Post reports that local broadsheet the New York Sun is doomed. Their investors have lost money for more than 6 years on what was always basically a vanity paper for right-leaning ultra-hawkish pro-Israel New Yorkers, and they've given founder Seth Lipsky a month to line up new funders. The Sun will reportedly announce something—the end?—on their website in just a minute. Leaving aside their insane editorial page and wacky style guide, the Sun did have some of the best arts coverage of all the New York dailies and a good local section. (And, you know, Lenore Skenazy and John McWhorter.) So, like, sad. Right? Without a Murdoch or a Reverend Moon, it's almost like a hilariously right-wing daily can't make it in this crazy mixed-up world. Update: The statement.

In addition to the unfortunate-looking New York, I Love You, a number of other New York-centric "we both love and mourn ourselves" films will premiere at the upcoming Toronto Film Festival, gushes the New York Times. There will be ruminative documentaries about the lost New York City of the 1970's, through the lenses of the Broadway show A Chorus Line and the old Upper West Side sex club Plato's Retreat. And another film called Lymelife about disgruntled ennui on Long Island (starring the disgruntled Alec Baldwin!) The TImes writes indulgently about the films:

David Dunlap of the New York Times captured 7 World Trade Center on a sunny day last week. A blue sky and neighboring buildings are reflected against the mirrored surface, and create the impression one the building is transparent.

Who are the coolest kids in town that haven't been written about ad nauseum yet? The latest collection of bright young things in the creative/social scene are relatively fun—though there's still time for them to become just as annoying as their elders. Here's who you'll be seeing in Page Six in the next few years—and on New York Social Diary in about forty. An ambitious, in-the-know tipster helped compile a list of this year's upper class.


THE Flâneurs:

Because Angels & Kings didn't quite drive the knife of inanity far enough into New York City's weakening heart, a new celebrity-backed bar is opening in Manhattan. I'm sorry, did I say celebrity? I meant Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, the tumbleweeds from MTV's high-gloss people-spoof The Hills. Don't worry, the planned "upscale sports lounge" isn't in your precious East Village like Pete Wentz's sadness factory.It's in Murray Hill (hills! the world is full of amazing connections!), whose state flower is the blue button-up shirt and official drink is the Totally Fucked Up, Man slinger. As Heidi is exactly as sexy as an unclothed Barbie doll, expect lots of hot girls and cool-as-Spencer dudes to frequent the joint. [W]

Steve Cuozzo in the Post hates Wikipedia, that "engine of ignorance 'compiled by volunteers' and masquerading as a legitimate reference work." He's right! It gets things about New York City all wrong, as he points out—not just wrong, but "notoriously wrong-headed."Among its many crowdsourced errors:

Nick McGlynn, of our tireless video staff, gives us an eyewitness account of this wretched crime: "Girl (Cassandra Wu) was arrested for splashing water from a water bottle in Union Square right now! The water gun fight was canceled because the parks department didn't sanction it. They arrested her and took her away! Everyone here with water guns are in an uproar!!" So, yeah. Seems a bit silly. Though it's also kind of annoying and twee and "I'm whimsical, fuck me!" (thanks Ms. Garofalo) to have a public water gun fight anyway (no offense meant, Nick), so I'm not really sure where I come down on this.

The Observer writes a fawning piece today about former LA party girl turned newly-minted downtown queen Kirsten Dunst, touting the actress's low-key demeanor, her vintage slingbacks and Ray-Bans gestalt, and every other imagined quality that's bestowed, vainly by its residents, upon any "thoughtful" boho celebrity who moves to this city. New York makes celebrities relatable and funky and, most important of all, just like us!, the thinking seems to be. Except, sigh, it's all kind of pretend.

A summer rainstorm just enveloped Manhattan. In this 2006 photo, the clouds reach so low that Midtown looks to be on fire.

For some reason, certain members of the New York Giants aren't full of warm feelings over all the press the Jets are getting for hiring Brett Favre, the 38-year-old quarterback who grudgingly signed on after he was abandoned by his beloved Green Bay Packers. But why should the Giants be miffed? It's not like they beat the obnoxious New England Patriots and deprived them of their precious perfect season in the last Super Bowl. "I'm not surprised at all. No one cares about us. Let's call it what it is," explained running back Brandon Jacobs. More griping after the jump.

In no particular order (with replies from Naomi 94 in italics):

In the long-fought battle between New York and Los Angeles, New York has finally won. In terms of which city is better for openly gay actors, at least. After Elton runs a feature today interviewing various gay thespians (redunnndant) about the trials and tribulations of both playing dress up and publicly doing it with men. And one thing is made abundantly clear. Los Angeles has a long and noble history of shaming its gay players into sham hetero relationships and degrading game show appearances, while New York has always let its freak pflag fly and welcomed queers with open arms: "Everyone knows everyone, and it's fantastic. No one cares if you're gay," says homo actor Christopher Sieber (best known for playing the Olsen twins' dad on the important sitcom Two of a Kind) of his experiences in New York City. Adds Xanadu actor Cheyenne Jackson, "People know if you've got the goods, if you're easy to work with, and if you can get the job done. Besides it's New York theater. Everybody's gay!" Except sometimes even New York isn't perfect:

Dark Knight opens at midnight, and as the previews show, the city gets beat up pretty bad in the epic battle that ensues. New York is always getting destroyed over and over again in movies. Why? Because it looks awesome! Here are clips of the 15 best films featuring New York getting annihilated, curated by Nick McGlynn. (NYC Photoshop Hallucination By Richard Blakeley.)

Driving down the neon-lit strip in New York is like "surfing porn sites without an ad-blocker." [Inflite via Digg]

"Turmoil on Wall Street, with thousands of jobs being lost in the wake of the housing crisis, was blamed for New York's drop from first to fourth in the Forbes survey of upward mobility... San Francisco leap-frogged over New York into the yuppie top spot thanks to a more diversified economy." [UPI]

Megamillionaire investment banker and New York magazine owner Bruce Wasserstein (currently under attack from our advertisers) is reportedly getting divorced from his wife (#3) Claude, and taking up with "a young Asian beauty with whom he may already be planning a family." The scandalous tale of wealth, sex, and power will be splashed all over New York magazine next week, in Imaginary World. In the actual world, you probably won't be reading about it there. More interesting than the rich-guy divorce story, though, is the angle that the gossips are hinting at oh-so-delicately: What's the deal with all these old super-rich moguls hooking up with younger Asian women these days? Interracial dating amongst the rich, incredible and noteworthy!: