Maybe next time they could show the Twin Towers as a pair of spread legs. That might be slightly more tasteful.

We've finally figured out Manohla Dargis: She's running a post-modern contest! We're no strangers to prolixity ourselves, but if you can wend your way through the convoluted structure she erects in today's review of How to Eat Fried Worms, consider yourself granted an honorary M.F.A. in comparative literature.

• Say what you will about the Post, they still give great headline. [NYP]
• They also can't help but tweak rival Mort Zuckerman. [NYP]
• Nor can they resist a dig at the Times. [NYP]
• But at the end of the day, it's nice to know that they'll still bring you the news that really matters. [NYP]

In a back-to-school op-ed today, science professor Jeffrey A. Lockwood confronts the scourge that has plagued small children down the ages: the project of watching caterpillars turn into butterflies. We have fond memories of such an experiment ourselves, but Lockwood is concerned that this activity perverts the course of nature. His solution?

Keeping you abreast of the latest from the fashion hive that is the New York Times, a very special announcement:

In this very special issue of the Times Book Review, editor Sam Tanenhaus' gang tackles the difficult issue of denim. How to wear it? Where to wear it? How much is too much? Why would someone pay $160 for Joe's Jeans? And what sort of Times editor would let this business make it into the Review? After getting over this formidable issue of fashion, the Review goes with silly author websites, the trouble with erections, and a super-nasty slap across Irvine Welsh's face. After the jump, Intern Alexis puts down the pipe and gives you your semi-educated crib notes to this week's review.

Hot New York Times memo action! In an attempt to curb the newsroom's insatiable appetite for placing heavily surcharged direct phone calls from hotel rooms, assistant managing editor William Schmidt drops knowledge on how to use this Internet thing everyone's talking about to actually save money on travel. The first tip is to ignore the red-flagged "Out of Policy" notices on the NYT's own travel-booking portal, since someone finally realized that Expedia & co. have been gleefully reaming the paper by disqualifying some of the cheapest flights. "Ignore those little red flags and other warnings!" declares an insouciant Schmidt. "Common sense should prevail, not policy guidelines." But really, coach travel only? And what about Cathy Horyn's ros per diem? Full memo after the jump.

For the record, the end of days officially began at MisShapes, August 19th, 2006. Pictured above at said location are Times fashion critic Cathy Horyn and designer/walker Narciso Rodriguez.

This Sunday, Times child porn authority Kurt Eichenwald reported on "the latest trend in online child exploitation: Web sites for pedophiles offering explicit, sexualized images of children who are covered by bits of clothing — all in the questionable hope of allowing producers, distributors and customers to avoid child pornography charges." The piece was troubling, to be sure (particularly the part about 9-year-old Sparkle, "her tight panties and skimpy top... soaked and revealing"), but we found an extra bit of frisson when we read the story online, where the following (no doubt random) ads appeared alongside it.

As is the case with more and more movies these days, Snakes on a Plane declined to hold advance screenings for critics. Not one to be dissuaded, Manohla Dargis took in the flick with the commoners and issued her review a shockingly short time after. Which is probably how she slipped this one past Sifton's standards police: "Naughty by nature or perhaps more by design, these snakes don't just dart out of toilets; they also slide up bare legs and under dresses, moving in and out of more bodily orifices than the adult-film star Ron Jeremy did in his prime."

The Huffington Post runs a cute parody imagining "What Right-Wingers See When They Read the New York Times." Hover-mouse humor at its finest. We could only wish for these kinds of features in TimesSelect, though; now that would be $50 well spent.

On Sunday, August 6, the Times Magazine published an article entitled, "Pop Goes Feminist," in which the word "bitch" is used about as frequently as it is amongst the girls of Laguna Beach. Most people hardly bat an eye at the word's usage, but not the publishers at Siman-James Press. In November 2005, the Times published two different articles pertaining to their author Jennifer Shahade's Chess Bitch: Women in the Ultimate Intellectual Sport, and also published one op-ed by Shahade herself; in all three instances, the paper refused to print the title of Shahade's book. So when "Pop Goes Feminist" contained 10 usages of "bitch," Simian-Press has resumed its bitching in a letter to the editor:

Shockingly, these gentlemen work in the financial industry.

From online rest stop Craigslist, one of the better postings we've seen in a long time:

In the latest edition of the Times book review, the critic's gang tackles both Seth Mnookin and Toby Young's latest titles, coming up with the same verdict for two very different books: vanilla. Nothing wrong with them, but they're certainly not awesome, either. Pity. Add to the mix some requisite Islam talk and a special moment in which Charles McGrath uses the word "penis," and you've got this week's review. Intern Alexis' guide to sounding like you've touched book, after the jump.

You want yer meta, do you? So here you go. Photog Atomische contributed the above shot to the Gawker photo pool on Flickr, depicting New York Times photog Marilyn K. Yee capturing the bloom on that stinky Brooklyn corpse flower everyone's (well, "everyone's") talking about. After the jump, enjoy Yee's actual vulval photo taken during the session above.

Times ad columnist Stuart Elliot recently took a "three-week, 16-state, 3,989-mile road trip" to parts west of the Hudson. What did he find? The answers might surprise you!

We've spent the past week digesting this William Powers article in the National Journal regarding how big, austere daily papers justify covering celebrity "news." Powers's point is that even though celebrity crap is one of the most sought-after news products, big papers keep it at arm's length for decorum's sake. They also don't have the resources, personnel, or professional desire to assiduously track an eternally moving, churning target like celebrity news. However, when a celeb story gets so huge that virtually everyone is talking about it, ignoring such a topic begins to look willful, elitist, or even ignorant. So assuming one can at least stay above the fray of breaking celebrity news and scoops, how do you appear engaged with popular culture while not actually deigning to cover it? That's easy. You just cover the coverage.

If you were going to write a brilliant satire of a weekend Times article, what would you do? You'd probably start by flipping through some recent celebrity weeklies or maybe attend a Madonna concert. Then, to keep things serious enough for the Gray Lady, you'd do some Googling to see what Clinton's been up to. Finally, you'd cruise the blogosphere to see what's been the hot topic for mockery. Add some photojournalism and oversized art, put it on the front page of the section, and you've got the ultimate Sunday Styles parody. Like so:

Did David Carr and Paul Farhi see the same movie? Using Scoop as a jumping off point, they both wrote pieces on the image of reporters in film. Back at the end of July, Fahri had the following in the Washington Post