Let us not, at this crucial moment, forget how much shit the Tribune Co. is in. Executives at the Tribune Co. are quite literally wading to work today through rivers of bad news—deep, deep rivers. Yesterday they freaking went bankrupt. Today they find themselves smack dab in the middle of Gov. ROD BLAGOJEVICH's outrageous corruption scandal—because gnomish asshole Tribune CEO Sam Zell allegedly agreed in principle to fire a troublesome editorial page editor in exchange for $100 million in state money. Obvious question: Did Blago's corrupt scheme help drive Tribune into bankruptcy? We examine THE FACTS for you below!

Hey, one more ominous day in the increasingly ominous life of the New York Times Co. The fact that the Times Co. announced plans to mortgage or sell its fancy headquarters building on the same day that the Tribune Co. took a step towards bankruptcy is really bad karma. Check this out, people: The New York Times Co. will eventually go bankrupt if it does not make a drastic change. No amount of fanboy love for Frank Rich or outcry from the journalism establishment will change this fact. Who will step in with a plan to save the paper of record? We will, improbably!

What's this—monetary distress for Donald Trump, the richest man in the universe? Trump is being sued by Deutsche Bank for failing to pay off a loan for his new Chicago high rise tower, which he personally guaranteed to the tune of $40 million. That makes it a great time to raise the perpetual question, "How much is Trump really worth?" A safe guess: far less than he was the last time anybody took the trouble to calculate:

We were impressed last month when it was rumored that the Huffington Post may have raised $15 million in new investment, a big accomplishment for a media company at a time when the media economy is in the trash. Well, those rumors turned out to be false. Actually, HuffPo has raised $25 million from a venture capital firm. Amazing. So what will they do with all this cash?

Are you ready to sit at home eating leftovers and viewing the internet? The Friday after Thanksgiving is Buy Nothing Day! It's the day when lefties around the world celebrate being broke by abstaining from capitalism for a day and feeling superior, while the rich run wild on pre-Christmas sales. It's a nice thought and many of you would probably theoretically support it, but, you know... sales. This year, however, the anarchist types have an extra incentive: nobody has any money to spend anyhow!

America's failing auto companies continue to Get The Message Loud And Clear about Making Real Changes that will Make America Strong Again. They just really, really need that $25 billion government bailout first, okay? Seriously. GM has already promised to give up some of its corporate jets and order cheaper pencils. And now, a bunch of auto industry types are doing what GM's execs should have done in the first place: carpooling to Washington! Though it may be, objectively, the lamest car pool ever: 1. "As of now, the three executives — Rick Wagoner of General Motors, Alan R. Mulally of Ford Motor and Robert L. Nardelli of Chrysler — are not planning to join the carpool." 2. "Initially, organizers intended to assemble a convoy of numerous fuel-efficient, American-made vehicles to demonstrate the innovation coming from Detroit, but it might end up being more about the people involved than the products. 'From an efficiency standpoint, getting a bus or two would probably be the best way to go.'" 3. "The group is planning a quick trip, perhaps leaving Dec. 7 and heading back late the next day, with no stops for rallies or demonstrations." Two buses, full of auto dealers, on an 18-hour round trip from Detroit to Washington, with no public rallies. But they did get the New York Times to cover it, so hey. [NYT]

With people scraping together pennies for Kool-Aid, all ads harping on the hard times we're having, and coupons making a comeback, things are getting a little stressful for you, the good ol' American consumer. Well, how would you like some Free Cash? Would you? Would you? Would you do anything? Anything at all? Well shake that ass and empty that wallet, consumers, cause corporate America is making it rain! Cash giveaways are the new advertising trend, according to advertising trendwatcher- in-chief Stuart Elliott. Sweepstakes and cash prizes are a paltry sum for big companies, but for The Poors that now make up 87% of our nation, they're the only thing standing between them and cannibalism. The most ironic contest is CNBC.com's Portfolio Challenge, with a $1 million prize for building a successful mock portfolio. If you can build a successful portfolio these days, you're worth a lot more than that.

Last week the New York Times Co. slashed its dividend and announced poor earnings and saw its stock plunge to lows not seen in decades. Times journalists must be afraid for their financial futures. Well the company has a suggestion: how about buying some New York Times Co. stock? Cheap! The company just sent out an unfortunately-timed internal memo offering employees the chance to buy stock at a discount. Don't forget that you should consider "your future financial objectives" first. Do you want to lose money in the future? Buy now! Read the whole hot stock offer below:

According to some reports, the Huffington Post has raised $15 million in a new round of investment. But nobody really knows for sure whether that's true, yet! Let us say right up front that if it is true—and the Times UK says it is—this will be the coup of the media meltdown. Raising cash like that in this economic environment is impressive, and we would have to tip our hats to HuffPo, and acknowledge that we have wildly underestimated them. Here are all of the details from various reports on Arianna's maybe-triumph:

In Japan, CEOs take shame seriously. They're expected to work late, dedicate their entire lives to the good of a company, and try to ensure that they don't work their employees to the point of suicide. And when Japanese CEOs make mistakes, they're expected to make a big show of tearily flogging themselves in public (figuratively). But here in America? CEOs get to screw up as bad as they want and walk away with millions, with nary a tear nor a nice tip to the bellhop on the way out the door. Stan O'Neal! Bob Nardelli! Dennis Kozlowski! CEOS in the USA need to STFU and get way better at public humiliation. They problem is that in this country, CEOs are only too happy to trade the scorn of the public for a pile of money. Most Americans would do the same! (Unless the revolution comes, in which case it's up against the wall with all of you). So you can bitch all you want about golden parachutes that can top $100 million for executives who didn't do shit except lose shareholder money the entire time they were employed, but that CEO will chuckle to himself, have his flack issue a statement, and then go enjoy his millions and millions of free dollars on a private island somewhere, full of untold numbers of prostitutes. So America has worked out its own ways to humiliate these CEOs without their consent. The media trumpets their salaries all over the place, hollering louder about them the worse their company does. Their kids are shunned and forced to go to special, expensive schools. Actually, nobody sympathizes with CEOs except for other CEOs, and politicians. Now, however, every company is doing poorly. So our system for determining what executives to focus our class rage upon is broken. The American public is spread too thin. That's why we need to import some sort of Japanese-style public shaming ceremony here. CEOs can apologize for their sins and wallow in misery, we can all enjoy the schadenfreude, and then we can all focus our allotment of hatred where it belongs: on Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson. And the CEOs will join us. America is unity!

Billionaire Maverick(s owner) Mark Cuban has issued a statement proclaiming his innocence on the insider trading charges that the SEC filed against him earlier today. He posted the statement on his beloved blog, appropriately. And when he says "I wish I could say more," you can trust that he's telling the truth. We look forward to an ill-advised outburst from him in the coming weeks. For now, the official denial is after the jump:

Poor failed investment bank Lehman Bros. is selling $8 million worth of art that used to inspire I-bankers to create beautiful works of finance, but now is just sitting around waiting to be liquidated in order to pay off creditors. Sad. But also appropriate! Because Richard "Dick" Fuld, the ex-CEO who ran Lehman into the ground, is auctioning off some of his own personal art collection tonight—and he was smart enough to get a $20 million guarantee for it, just before everything went to hell!:

Neel Kashkari, where has your steely-eyed charm gone? When the Ferrari-loving young Republican banker took on the post as our nation's new Head of All Money, we had such high hopes for him. His eagle-like visage commanded respect; his brash overconfidence meant he was destined for greatness. But yesterday the markets tanked after his first big speech, and now the media is grumbling about his performance. Neel, what's wrong? Allow us to help, my rich bald friend. The Post says reporters and finance people alike were pissed yesterday because he only answered two or three questions, and those with "a tone of impatience." And how do you expect to excite the markets with a speech like this?:

Rember how Obama's election was the greatest thing to happen to the newspaper industry in a decade? People lined up across New York City to buy copies of the New York Times proclaiming his victory! And the smart ones put those copies right on Ebay. This chart shows the average of the five highest prices paid on Ebay each day for that November 5 issue of the NYT. One early seller fetched $400; today you can have your pick for less than $30. Oh, the metaphor.

Time Out New York president Alison Tocci just sent out a memo to the magazine's staff addressing the "anonymous, typo-riddled post on Gossip, I mean, Gawker.com, which alludes to our imminent demise." She confirms TONY's money troubles, which were the subject of our rumormonger post yesterday, but says that the magazine's trusty investors are ponying up cash to ensure that everyone is paid! Within three months. The full zing-y memo:

You know those handy online calculators that purport to tell you exactly how much any website is worth, were it for sale? They're the type of thing that bloggers use so they can brag that their blog is "worth" many thousands of dollars in a parallel universe. All these things are pretty blunt instruments, but Mental Floss found one called WebsiteOutlook.com that is very bad. Don't like our assessment? Why don't you just buy this entire website for $1.1 million, then? In reality, that won't even cover the value of a single Montauk Monster post. But oh, it gets even more ridiculous:

Larry Winget: bald person, financial guru, Hyundai pitchman. He's one of several financial authors who appear incongruously in Hyundai's current ad campaign, which features some "normal" people who, upon seeing an anonymous man in a tie pop up behind them at a car dealership and offer advice, react by saying excitedly, "Hey! Aren't you [financial author] of [personal finance advice book]?!" Whereas a real person would probably kick them in the nuts. The funny thing is that bald financial guru and Hyundai pitchman Larry Winget now says he doesn't necessarily want people to buy Hyundais at all!

Now that the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue has hit the stands, most Americans are wondering: What does it mean for the S&P 500 Index? Luckily, some financial bloggers have gone through their back issues, correlated the country of origin of the cover models with economic statistics, and answered the question! Turns out that an American on the cover, like we have this year, equals a much higher average gain for the S&P. This so-called "Swimsuit Issue Indicator" is the exact opposite of the "Time Magazine Indicator," which predicts that having George W. Bush on the cover of Time correlates closely with poverty and war. Har. After the jump, Bespoke Investment Group's full 30-year chart in all its number-having glory [via Dealbreaker].