Perhaps disappointed that David Geffen's bid to buy the paper and transform it into the pulpy megaphone he's always craved never really went anywhere, the LAT is doing what it can to make sure that the voices of the entertainment industry's biggest personalities are heard, inviting Imagine's Brian Grazer to superproduce the inaugural edition of an already doomed a bold guest-editor experiment for its Sunday Current opinion section. So what exactly will be required of the new Times editor-for-a-day? A press release can explain while we dab up the bit of melted brain matter that's trickling from our ear:

The Junior Varsity Finger-Wagging Team over at the Columbia Journalism Review ("America's Premier Media Monitor"!) breaks new ground with a history of "fake news." Guess what? It was around before Jon Stewart! Verily, they tell a tale of deception and shoddy reporting dating back before the sinking of the Maine. A gem of history: "Even twenty true words cabled from London about an Indian Ocean hurricane could grow to a story ten times that length, padded out with imaginary details and encyclopedia facts. Mo' words, mo' money." We're not actually suggesting that you go and read the whole piece, because, honestly, life is too short—but if you've some spare time today and are wondering why liberals are so ineffectual and "media monitors" universally inspire the "suck it through my jeans" reflex in even the most mild-mannered reader, here awaits some great evidence.

Someone sent us this picture of what they describe as a "wild bird" outside the Conde Nast building this morning, which is apparently freaking people out as much or more than the homeless woman who was peeing in the lobby of 4 Times Square on Friday. The bird will be served in the cafeteria around noon. Anna Wintour's gonna put a napkin over her head and eat it ortolan-style. And now, the news.

• Conrad Black's fraud trial starts today. [Chicago Tribune]
  

• Bear Stearns has a bone to pick with the Times Gretchen Morgenson, as do most people with a background in finance who read her columns. [NYP]
  

• Everything you need to know about Conrad Black, whose fraud trial starts this week. [Maclean's]
  

• CBS News hired Rick Kaplan without consulting Katie Couric. They probably just didn't want her to worry her pretty little head about it. [NYT]
  

• Rick Kaplan brought in to save ratings-challenged Katie Couric. [NYP]
  

• Real estate magnate Sam Zell will probably buy Tribune, which would be nice because it'll finally put an end to this fucking story. [LAT]
  

• Wal-Mart is really, really sorry that they taped a Times reporter's calls. They don't want you to think they're Hewlett-Packard or anything. [NYT]
  

· Sadly, not even a special 100 Movies That Would Be Better If Marky Mark Starred In Them Issue was able to stop Premiere's circulation slide, forcing Hachette Filipacchi Media to shutter the magazine. Their website, however, will live on with all the fun bloggiebays and interactive pollamajigs that the kids love so much these days.
· Variety raids the Hollywood Reporter's newsroom.
· GHWB denies that the suspicious lacerations on his hand were caused by running it along Teri Hatcher's razor-sharp, bony ass.
· Ralph Fiennes transfers his membership in the Mile High Club to one in the Banging Four Broads in a Belgian Swimming Pool Club. Truly, this is a new hero for these uncertain times.
· If you've always suspected that Britney Spears is secretly a ninja with Real Ultimate Power, this is the website for you. [via BoingBoing]
· Now what fun is a Britney doll that you can't shave yourself?

• Murdoch (James, but you take what you can get) vs. Branson. RELATED: This Times summary. [NYT]
  

• Bonnie Fuller is allegedly "reaching out to Hachette Filipacchi and to TMZ.com." There are the usual denials all around, but we think if anyone can revive Shock, it's Bonnie "Bon Temps" Fuller. [NYP]
  

• NBC News had always planned to can "Nightly News" exec producer John Reiss. The fact that ABC is starting to manhandle them, ratings-wise, is just a happy coincidence. [NYT]
  

• Surly Maer Roshan only talks to Yusef Jackson. Yusef talks to Ron Burkle. It's called plausible deniability. You know, allegedly. [NYO]
  

• MTV names reality TV queen to head programming. Expect lots more pimping and punking! [MediaPost]
  

• Maer Roshan, the "battle-scarred veteran" of the "buzz-intensive media hothouses" that are New York and L.A. is back, and this time "the buzz seems to be moving back in his favor." That picture can't hurt. [WSJ]
  

• Is it just us, or do these new Us ads represent the perfect marking point for the world's fatal descent into decadence?
  

A couple of tipsters were generous enough to forward us a pair of delightful e-mails currently making the rounds in local media and industry circles, in which aggrieved Hollywood princes Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen took a moment from their busy schedules to offer LAT reporter Susan King some constructive feedback on her assessment of Sheen's effusive introduction of brother Emilio's latest cinematic masterpiece at this year's Golden Globes. Below, Estevez helpfully quotes the blurb in its entirety before sharing his critique:

• Who will succeed Bill Keller as Times executive editor: Jill Abramson or Dean Baquet? Get set for the inevitable Hillary-Obama comparisons. Either way, oddly, the real job worth having seven years from now will be digital fella Jon Landman's. [WWD]