Pokémon Go Is a Government Surveillance Psyop Conspiracy

Ashley Feinberg · 07/11/16 02:00PM

Less than a week after Pokémon Go’s launch, our streets are already filled with packs of phone-wielding, Weedle-catching zombies. They’re robbing our teens, filling our churches with sinners, and tricking our children into exercising. But worst of all, Pokémon Go is turning us all into an army of narcs in service of the coming New World Order.

Sarah Palin Congratulates "Smart" Brexit Voters on Fighting the New World Order

Ashley Feinberg · 06/26/16 01:19AM

If there’s one thing noted Facebook user Sarah Palin hates, it’s logic. If there are two things Sarah Palin hates, though, the second is almost definitely the Democrats’ secret apocalyptic globalist agenda. Which is why Sarah Palin would like to take a moment to congratulate all those Brits who voted to leave the EU and effectively cripple their country. You really showed the Illuminati this time.

In Cabal of Powerful Elites, Newspaper Sees Valid Alternative to Traditional Democratic Institutions

Alex Pareene · 12/29/15 04:02PM

“Think of it as The Establishment 2.0,” says the New York Times, of the “Working Team of the Itasca Project,” a group of “14 men and women who oversee some of the biggest companies, philanthropies and other institutions in Minneapolis, St. Paul and the surrounding area,” and who meet weekly “to quietly shape the region’s economic agenda.” Or think of it another way, if you want. Like... as a cabal?

Beyoncé Has Never Been Less Convincing About the Veracity of Her Pregnancy Than She Was in Her Own Movie

Rich Juzwiak · 02/18/13 02:21PM

I never realized how not pregnant Beyoncé might have been until the Saturday premiere of her HBO documentary, Life Is But a Dream. Since announcing her pregnancy at the 2011 MTV Video Music Awards (in August of that year), there have been naysayers, referred to with tongue in cheek as "Beyoncé birthers." There was that footage of her apparently pregnant belly folding in on itself when she made an appearance on Australian TV in the fall of 2011. Months later, Beyoncé addressed it with a pithy explanation: "It was a fabric that folded - does fabric not fold? Oh my gosh, so stupid."

Super Bowl Goes Dark Minutes After Beyoncé's Performance (UPDATE)

Taylor Berman · 02/03/13 09:13PM

Well, that was one way to quiet the lip-synching haters/give credence to rumors of Illuminati: Minutes after Beyoncé's inspired performance and just moments after a record-setting kickoff return from the Baltimore Ravens' Jacoby Jones, power went out in over half of the Superdome. CBS's James Brown said the outage was caused by a power surge. Another CBS reporter who spoke with NFL officials said the blackout was caused after an outside power source was lost. NFL and stadium officials reset the lights and, after a 35-minute delay, power was restored. So far, no official reason has been given but, for now, certain groups are denying responsibility:

The Opening Ceremony Was a Satanic Illuminati Occult Ritual and Other Olympic Conspiracy Theories

Max Read · 08/06/12 05:10PM

Is the 2012 London Olympics a flawed and corrupt but ultimately heartwarming celebration of athletic achievement and a sign of peace and cooperation among nations? Or is it a sinister occult ritual undertaken by the British Royal family and the Illuminati to summon ancient demons and secure their power over the mindless masses? The peaceful celebration, definitely. But that hasn't stopped the internet from doing what it does best: making weird YouTube videos and posting to conspiracy theory message boards. Behold, the best of the internet's Olympic conspiracy theories.

Jay-Z and Beyoncé's Daughter Is Almost Definitely Illuminati

Max Read · 01/10/12 10:15AM

Why did Jay-Z and Beyoncé name their daughter Blue Ivy? Possibly because they are exceedingly wealthy celebrities for whom the act of procreation is chiefly an exercise in branding... or because "Blue Ivy" is a secret code revealing her membership in an ancient and all-powerful occult secret society. Which could it be??

Incarcerated Rapper Reveals Satanic Molester Conspiracy

Hamilton Nolan · 05/02/08 11:33AM

Prodigy, the Mobb Deep rapper currently taking advantage of his incarceration to hone his blogging skills, is concerned about quite a few things: ritualistic murders, the 9/11 conspiracy, secret societies, missing children, and "NATURAL ENERGY LINES THAT CRISS-CROSS THE ENTIRE PLANET." How do these things all tie together? Allow Prodigy explain at length [Vibe], like a man with plenty of time to type and type and type and go crazier and crazier and crazier:

Are the Illuminati behind Hollywood writers' strike?

Nicholas Carlson · 11/20/07 02:25PM

Hollywood writers are striking because studios will not give them residuals from content distributed over the Internet or through DVDs. Or are they? One of the first films already effected by the strike is Ron Howard's adaptation of Dan Brown's Angels & Demons, the sequel prequel to The Da Vinci Code. Could the Illuminati, the secret society exposed in Brown's book, be behind the strike? Could I, a blogger, possibly find a cheesier way to get you to find out more?