Did Mary-Kate hook up with Kanye on his birthday? Does Jennifer Lopez bathe in the black magic blood of Santeria chickens? Does Kim Kardashian need a decoy engagement ring? Did LeAnn Rimes make a sex tape? Friday gossip has questions.

A guy in Nashville went to go see 30 Rock star Tracy Morgan perform a comedy show last weekend and Morgan said some wildly offensive things about gay people. The guy took to his Facebook wall in protest. Now the gays have mobilized!

Nothing sounds more liberating than spraying your genitals with DEET, then trekking through tick-infested woods amid patches of poison ivy, thorns and other underbrush totally naked, no? That's how they roll in Germany these days. A year ago, the country's "first hiking trail for nudists" opened near Dankerode to much fanfare and now, the trend could be spreading to Switzerland if the Supreme Court there approves it.

Today we once again waded into the ever raging debate of whether or not the suburbs suck. All you New York-dwelling cityphiles came out hot-to-trot on city living, but one commenter suggests that you don't even know where you live.

If the cancellation of Skins is any indication, America just isn't ready to see boffing kids. Also today: Julie Taymor wants her money dammit, good/bad news about your favorite future sitcom, William Shatner's got a new gig, and so does Damon Lindelof.

Those mathematicians at the New York Times got out their abacuses (abaci?) and figured out just how much a Tony win is worth for a Broadway musical. You'd think that the least watched of all awards shows wouldn't make a huge impact—-and you would be wrong.

The New York Post managed to corner penis guy Anthony Weiner on the sidewalk today!

Has Anthony Weiner's horrendous experience with Twitter prompted other members of Congress to post fewer illiterate riffs than usual to their own Twitter accounts? Top number-crunchers are looking into this. And the early stats of congressional tweet volume following Weiner's accidental cock missive suggest that... perhaps?

Not to be outdone by the National Archives, which is releasing a redacted version of the Pentagon Papers 40 years after they were actually published, the National Security Agency today declassified a book on cryptology that was published in 1809, during the presidency of James Madison. If it had been leaked before the NSA was ready, we totally would have lost the War of 1812.

Kim Kardashian threatens to sue a tabloid and denies a football player's sexy stories. Scarlett Johansson is a pushy conversationalist. Emma Stone sucked her thumb until she was 11. Flo Rida gets arrested. Thursday gossip contains two truths and a lie, but which is which?

It seems that tiny showbiz dynamo Chris Colfer, gay angel of Glee, is not content ruling his small corner of Hollywood. He wants the publishing industry too. So he's inked a two-book deal with Little, Brown.

The moment has arrived: Congressman Anthony Weiner's naked penis picture has gone public. But how does it rank in the great history of dong shots? Resident genital experts Maureen O'Connor and Brian Moylan give their reviews of some famous celebrity dick pics.

Today we learned that the real reason Emma Watson, brainiac wizardess, dropped out of Brown University was because she couldn't get a date. (Or something.) "Huh???" we all wondered. Beautiful, smart, charming her? Yeah, apparently. But why? Why c/wouldn't she date? One commenter speculated.

A whopping 16.4 million people watched Oprah's final episode, besting even the prime-time competition for the week, but her highest-rated show remains "Why I Love Older Women" from 1993. And that, ladies and gentlemen, will be her legacy.

No one actually reads those endless software license agreements, Apple's included. But we might listen to them, if Richard Dreyfuss could somehow be persuaded to read them in comically evil voices, as he did with the iTunes terms and conditions.

Now that suspected candidate Anthony Weiner won't be running for mayor of New York (for obvious reasons), rumors are swirling that Alec Baldwin is going to throw his hat in the ring. Is he really gonna run this time?

Today was Today show anchor Meredith Vieira's last day on the program. It was a very solemn occasion where they took time to recall her important moments like dancing with the Rockettes, falling down while ice skating, being attacked by Robin Williams and Russell Brand, polishing Colin Firth's trophy, and interviewing world leaders like Barack Obama and Miss Piggy.

Emma Watson's love life is lacking. Lady Gaga'a bodyguard beats up a fan. Suri Cruise's shoe collection is worth $150K. Chris Evans admits he is balding. Wednesday gossip intimidates men.

Pippa Middleton today lost the "coveted" 'Rear of the Year' award to someone named Carol Vorderman, who is famous in Britain for having a nice butt and for being on TV or something. After all of that Royal Wedding butt hype, Pippa should have won by a landslide, no? The award's organizer, Tony Edwards, explained to the Daily Express why Pippa's butt lost:

Today we heard that former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher will not take an audience with Sarah Palin. Awwww, nuts! Sarah had so much she wanted to say to the Iron Lady. What, exactly, did she want to talk about? One commenters knows.