Gordon Ramsay is famous for three things: Cooking, cussing, and overseeing a rapidly declining restaurant empire. But fame conquers all! Gordon can be the Donald Trump of food. It's okay.

Sonia Sotomayor rocked history books today when she was sworn in as the 111th Associate Justice of the United States, and the first Hispanic to do it. Let's look back at how she got here, and how people are celebrating:

Current TV journalist Laura Ling did actually momentarily, for a second, "very, very briefly" cross into North Korean territory before she was arrested there last March, her sister said. Kim Jong-Il was right! Let's go to the official record.

Did you like the part of the global economic meltdown where world governments had to step in to save the financial markets from total collapse? Then you'll love the part where they start rationing our food and oil supplies!

While at the LAT, Richard Rushfield became the world's foremost expert on the inner workings of American Idol. He's currently resting up before joining Gawker later this month, but he couldn't resist weighing in on why Paula Abdul quit.

Pacing American Apparel CEO and full-grown adult Dov Charney is denying our tipster's report that he's been purging his stores of "ugly" employees. But hey, would it kill you ugly people to be fashionable, at least?

The Marines have banned Twitter, Facebook and MySpace, subject to exceptions for "mission-critical need." Staying in touch with family back home while fighting wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, is not mission critical.

Navy Cmdr. Jeffrey Gordon said he was "abused worse than the [Guantanamo] detainees" by Miami Herald reporter Carol Rosenberg's "harsh invective" questioning his masculinity. But the Herald's investigation has cleared her. Suck it, Navy bitch! That's what she said. [MH]

Steven Rattner is the social-climbing financier who resigned as auto czar because his private equity firm is embroiled in a pay-to-play scandal. Everyone's waiting for shoes to drop, but New York says Rattner's biggest problem is that nobody likes him.

Three picture deals, reunions, prequels, and the secret ingredient to box office success have all been revealed! Like a fresh patch of skin that emerges after a viscous sunburn, this last week of July has some rejuvenating news from Hollywood.

Today, noted Twitterer Peggy Noonan is writing fanfic about the ghosts of FDR and Nixon, who are coming back to Earth to advise their modern political parties. It is insane.

As your money burned last year and banks groveled for cash, we knew they kept handing out billions of bonus cash. But now we know how just a small few put their snouts to the trough.

Annie Leibovitz, perhaps the highest-paid celebrity photographer in the world, is profoundly broke. She hocked every photograph she's ever produced and now the high-end pawnshop that gave her $24 million has filed suit to force her to sell it all.

In the waning days of his publicity blitz, Judd Apatow is blogging over at MTV in some kind of meta 'comedians-are- sensitive-beings-who-have-Google-alerts-and-read-them' promotion for Funny People. It's quite enjoyable!

Elon Musk has a very loose definition of the word "founder." The Tesla CEO calls himself a PayPal founder; he isn't. He calls himself a Tesla founder; today a court begins hearings over whether he should stop saying that.

Wired editor Chris Anderson has fully morphed from a journalist, who knows what it's like to have to interview other people, into a celebrity, who has no time for these fucking reporters and their boring questions. "Journalism," what's that?

The Way We Live Now: Suffering in relativity. Allen Stanford has no air conditioning. Haitian boat people are drowning. Baghdad security guards are getting killed. And back in Queens, we're barely scraping by, workin' in the Yak shop.

That NBC chair Ben Silverman is flying/being pushed out of the peacock coop isn't really all that surprising. He's always been kind of a disaster. A blowhard (in more ways than one) party boy with streaks of ego and irresponsibility.

Once-celebrated, now-beleaguered NBC co-chairman Ben Silverman is leaving the company, it was announced on Ryan Seacrest's Twitter this morning. (Yes.) Well, OK, the New York Times has confirmed. So what the heck happened? Is this good news or bad?

Here's a shocker: According to a tipster, American Apparel's pervy madman CEO, Dov Charney, is demanding the firing of employees he deems unattractive and thus detrimental to the "AA aesthetic," as he feels they may be hurting his bottom line.