Martha MacCallum used to be a CNBC hottie, but since 2004 she's been one of the Fox News blondes. Today Shepard Smith totally macked on her!

Sanctimonious Catholic scold Sean Hannity invited noted porn star Kim Kardashian on his show last night, and—literally—called her a "role model" for young girls.

Whoops. The Twitter account we thought Jesse Watters was taunting us from is fake. We would have called Watters to confirm it was his, but he won't talk to us. We'll apologize in person soon.

Jesse Watters, Bill O'Reilly's ambush artist, has sworn off ambushing. Oh, he still plans to stalk his boss' enemies in a hollow charade of getting answers, but that word — "ambush" — sounds so tawdry.

Jesse Watters, Bill O'Reilly's ambush specialist, may have slipped past our stakeout this morning, but we will be back. Before John Cook and Richard Blakeley set back for Gawker HQ, they filed a video report.

We've been staking out Jesse Watters' house for four hours now, but we made a stalker-n00b error—we neglected to anticipate the effect all that coffee we drank at 4 a.m. would have on our bladders.

Gawker has some questions for Jesse B. Watters, the Fox News producer that Bill O'Reilly likes to send out to ambush his enemies. So we're outside his building in Long Island. Right now. (Hi, Jesse!)

Fox News gives subliterate people Atlas Shrugged on tape and puts them on camera. Here is a clip reel of Fox anchors repeatedly mispronouncing every proper noun they attempt to read off the teleprompter.

NPR's Tell Me More devoted a panel to the fact that Fox News created, sponsored, hyped, and otherwise bears complete and total responsibility for the tea parties. And Fox wouldn't come on the show!

CNN's Susan Roesgen went nuts on the air Wednesday at a Chicago tea party, blaming everything (accurately) on Fox News. But maybe she was angry because Fox turned her down for a job—twice!

Foxnews.com has published a screed taking the mainstream media to task for their "orally charged" coverage of the tea parties: Namely, the repeated use of the term "teabagging" for giggles.

The sign over Sean Hannity's right shoulder reads: "STOP WASTEFUL SPENDING. IMPEACH THE KENYAN PIRATE AND HIS CREW."

Glenn Beck updated viewers about David Buckner, the antitax pundit who passed out on his Fox News show yesterday. Turns out he's fine, but Beck has gone gay!

Glenn Beck turned up this morning to bathe in the warm sycophancy of Fox & Friends, and to tell the heroic tale of how he saved a fainting man's life on television yesterday.

David Buckner, an anti-tax professor at Columbia University, passed out live on the air during Glenn Beck's increasingly insane broadcast this afternoon.

Columbia University psychology professor David Buckner appeared on Glenn Beck's show on Fox News this afternoon. Based on the clip above, we're guessing Beck probably won't be inviting him back again any time soon. At least not without a note from his doctor. [YouTube]

In your bone-chilling Monday media column: magazine prices going up, newspapers just giving up and letting you do it, Rahm Emanuel charms reporters, and big Hollywood tragedy!

• The LA Times ran an ad designed to look like an actual news story on the front page of the paper today. Much criticism has followed, obvs. [ATD, E&P]
• The NYT is asking its reporters to come up with cost-cutting ideas. [NYO]
• A Chicago-based Good Morning America staffer was given the boot after he tried to put his nose job on his corporate credit card. [P6]
• The acquisition of the Wall Street Journal was a giant misstep for News Corp., but Fox News is making Rupert Murdoch some money. [Reuters]
• Cablevision's Jim Dolan earned a $12.5 million pay package last year. [AP]
• Time Warner's Jeff Bewkes raked in $19.9 million in 2008. [MC]
• The 15 top moneymakers on primetime television. [Forbes]
• Barely-living Blackbook is now refusing to pay some freelancers. [Jossip]

Well that didn't take long. America must drop everything and deal with this pirate menace! Where are the Marines? Piracy is the new terrorism! Call out the big jets! We need serious "cannon fire":

Bill O'Reilly did a segment on American Idol contestant Adam Lambert's apparent gayness last night, but actual photographs of two men kissing were too much for the old man.