Google has updated its list of the most visited sites on the web, and it looks like Facebook got one trillion pageviews in a single month. Gee, all the hard core internet research we've all been doing at work and all the serious essays and poetry we've been reading at home must be in Google's statistics somewhere, right?
In what will surely be the greatest press release of ths week, the National Zoo offers a catalog of how various animals reacted to yesterday's earthquake. In it, we discover that the range of animal quake reactions is roughly the same as the range of human quake reactions, from startled shrieking to baleful hiding:
Here's a lovely little photo essay prepared by David Limbaugh, Rush Limbaugh's less drug-addicted brother. It shows Rick Perry at age 22, when he was an Air Force pilot, contrasted with "Barack Hussein Obama II" at age 22, when he was a nig—excuse me, I mean, boy. They were both boys, obviously, but Perry was a plane-flying man while Obama was really a boy. Just a boy. This is going to be the most racist election ever.
For all the talk about Justin Timberlake taking over MySpace, it turns out that the real decision maker at the recently sold social network is a former Pepsi executive named Al Dejewski. And Dejewski's is proposing some tough love: detox, shape up, and focus on selling music, for bros. Oh, God, whatever, dad.
It's late August, and there is nothing on TV except for Big Brother and crappy reruns. What the hell are you supposed to watch before the new TV season starts in September? We're here with some suggestions for DVD/iTunes/Netflix marathons that will have you glued to your couch.
Male or female, gay or straight, it doesn't seem to matter: Basically all of Gotham is citing 30 Rock in their online dating profiles. Because talking about television is sure to get you laid!
Gay liberation and women's liberation come full circle today: In "The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name," gay Elle writer Seth Plattner announces that he likes to make out with women sometimes, not because he is bisexual, but because he really likes sexual attention. He's like a drunk sorority girl at a frat party, but gay and at a cool bar in New York. Here is his confession:
The AP's Matt Apuzzo and Adam Goldman broke an extraordinary story today about the NYPD's unfettered and probably illegal intelligence operation—which employs "rakers" and "mosque crawlers" to troll Arab neighborhoods for information even when no crime is suspected—and its tight integration with the CIA, which has covert operatives deployed within the department. Basically, if you're a Muslim in New York, you either work for the NYPD or are being watched by them.
Another day, another group of terrible, awful states. Yes we're continuing on deeper into the muck today, bringing you states 17-11. Almost to the top ten! Where will the dump you call home rank?
"Oh boy, oh boy," freshman Senator Marco Rubio thought to himself, escorting Nancy Reagan through the Reagan Library. "I'm in the inner sanctum now. Handpicked by Nancy Reagan to deliver a speech, walking down this aisle like husband and wife. Best damn photo op of my life! Oh, wait, gotta smile."
Everyone thinks that their subway line is the slowest, smelliest death trap of garbled announcements and naked crazy people. They are wrong. But this year two trains did tie for the distinction of being the shoddiest in all of New York City.
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett enter a Ring Cycle of divorce rumors. Jane Lynch was a NyQuil addict. Miley Cyrus' weird goth brother knocks up a Disney star. Clark Gable's grandson is criminally annoying with a laser pointer. Wednesday gossip sleeps around.
