Some people think that the worst thing about social networking site Facebook is that its employees are spying on you and making fun of you and then threatening to delete your profile when you call them out on it! Others—well, one dorky WSJ employee in particular— feel that the worst thing about Facebook is that it makes you worry about whether Martha Stewart wants to be your friend when really you should be concerning yourself with "salaries and diapers," owing to the fact that you are a grown-up. But maybe the real worst thing about Facebook is the way the site disseminates "relationship stories," which is at once simplistic, inscrutable, and prudishly conservative!