There is, somewhere inside the Rikers Island Correctional Facility, a safe stocked with with a stash of ecstasy, cocaine and marijuana. Some of these drugs went missing. After close to a month of investigation, authorities now feel confident enough to confirm: Somebody probably did those drugs.

Sigma Alpha Epsilon at the University of Arizona was suspended from all alcohol activities today in the wake of hazing allegations, according to The Daily Wildcat. But SAE's suspension is a long time coming—last year, Jackass star Johnny Knoxville accused the frat of drugging him.

Cee-Lo Green avoided a potential jail sentence today by pleading no contest to charges that he slipped a female companion MDMA on a date last year, allegedly leading her to wake up next to him with no memory of what happened the night before.

Last weekend, the Electric Zoo music festival in New York was cut short after two young attendees died of drug overdoses. This calls for a party!

Police officers in Dallas are on the brink of a major breakthrough: they're going to figure out what drug "Molly" is and where you're getting it.

Atlanta rapper Big Boi—one half of Outkast along with André 3000, and star of one of the great episodes of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit—was arrested in Miami on Sunday on drug possession charges. Rappers, right? Always with ecstasy and viagra-fueled cruises!

Making small talk with your pot dealer sucks. Buying cocaine can get you shot. What if you could buy and sell drugs online like books or light bulbs? Now you can: Welcome to Silk Road.

A new study that compared ecstasy users to non-users found that ecstasy doesn't impair cognitive ability, contradicting the results of earlier studies. This study—published on Tuesday in Addiction—was unique in that its subjects—even the non-users—were all rave-goers, and therefore undergoing the same experience of sleep deprivation, dehydration, annoying guy with the goddamn glow sticks, etc.; even then, researchers "found no ominous, concerning risks to cognitive performance" [CBC]

Breast cancer shocker! Gum healthiness! Lonely exercising! Teen girl suicide! Young strokes! Egg cholesterol! Diet soda heart attack! Baby obesity! And L.A.'s official guide to ecstasy! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—while rolling, in the official style!

Oh no! Illegal drug use in America has risen to the highest level since 2002, according to a government report, driven by increases in the use of marijuana, ecstasy, and methamphetamine. Here are some of the figures:

"Girls Gone Wild" boss and Douche of the Decade Joe Francis is suing to stop the sale of former employee Ryan Simkin's tell-all book. But Simkin gave us an excerpt (below)—involving Paris Hilton smuggling coke and ecstasy, sexxxily.

Scientists finally have concrete data on the long-term effects of ecstasy use: Bez, the hype man for 90's Manchester band Happy Mondays, was jailed for failing to do community service after choking his ex girlfriend and having a courtroom meltdown.

POP 2010 The Dream—featuring LiLo pal Steve Aoki and an Israeli trance band with the unfortunate name Infected Mushroom—drew 16,500 people last weekend. One man died and 70 were arrested for selling drugs. Wait… raves still exist?

HBO's Horatio Alger story for hipsters taught us less about how to make it and more about how to make out. Or how not to if you get, you know, bisexual urges while dropping X with your girlfriend.

On Tuesday, Jon Corzine runs for New Jersey Governor! Earlier today, the New York Post and WABC New York reported on "Corzine staffer" 25 year-old Jason Shih's arrest for having a bunch of E on him. Except: Shih totally lied.

Since the long weekend's coming up, let's learn about the latest news on dangerous illegal drugs, shall we? Yes. It's international: Special K is everywhere in Asia, "legal highs" are threatened in Britain, and in British Columbia, kids are joining the Crystal Meth Society!:

Nothing former Broadcom CEO Henry Nicholas did is particularly remarkable to anyone who's enjoyed Brett Morgen's The Kid Stays in the Picture biopic about the life and times of Robert Evans. What's remarkable is that it was a technology CEO in Orange County and not someone in the abnormally amoral entertainment industry. As cynical and jaded as we may be about the foibles of the ultrarich of the Valley, even we were surprised by some of the stunts detailed in the allegations, if only for their naïveté.