Mel Gibson, perhaps suffering from the elevated sense of entitlement that follows being showered up to one's neck in fuck-you money reaped from the pockets of morbidly curious audiences who flocked to your pet Messiah snuff project, is now using his considerable God-anointed (and lawyer assisted) powers to shut down a critical blog called Mel's Musings. From his lawyers' letter:
Scary celebrity lawyer Martin Singer continues to churn out the cease and desist letters, yet they seem to be doing little to impede the electronic dissemination of Colin Farrell's Pandora's Box of digitally captured pleasures. Stills, g-rated edits, parodies, not to mention the actual, untouched video, abound. But it was only when we read Shrimpjaw's transcript, free from the tyrannical image of Colin's curved croquet mallet, that we could fully appreciate just how special this coming together of our two hero-lovers actually was. An excerpt:
In what could be a new record for American Idol, just two nights after its entertaining Tuesday night premiere (our favorites: mysteriously reappearing Mystic Tan girl, with honorable mention to the Statue of Liberty guy canned by Simon Cowell two notes into his rendition of New York, New York) we have our first arrests of the season. And in a touching, only-on-Idol twist, this time, the felons are twins:
· The in-heat dogs of the big studios' specialty films divisions are ready to begin their horny rampage through Park City today, where Sundance has offered its unprotected leg for humping by pledging "smaller, more-indie flavored fare" (read: more cheaply acquired movies) at this year's festival. [Variety]
· Hey, did you hear the one about specialty divisions descending on Sundance in hopes of snapping up "smaller-scale indie fare"? [THR]
· The Constant Gardener leads the BAFTA nominations with ten, but the Brits love George Clooney like a fat kid loves cake, as he's nominated four times for two different films. [Variety]
· Bryce Dallas Howard (Ron Howard's daughter! Yay!) in negotiations to star as Gwen Stacy, Peter Parker's love interest, in Spider-Man 3. [THR]
· The PGA's recent producing-credit purge leaves producers Bob Yari, Don Cheadle, and co-writer Bobby Moresco in danger of Oscar podium exile should Crash win best picture. Of course, should Crash win best picture, we should all probably put aside such selfish considerations and be more concerned about the apocalyptic deluge of flaming snakes that will end life on Earth as we know it. [Variety]
America's Darling Paris Hilton is being sued for having planted a malicious story in Page Six about Zeta Graff, the ex-girlfriend of her then boyfriend Paris Latsis. TMZ got their hands on the deposition she gave on the matter last November, a document that reveals just how many complex, subtle shades of stupid she is. Some highlights:
Because we all live and die on incremental updates about the progress of legal proceedings regarding Brad Pitt's integration into the lives of Angelina Jolie's adoptive children, we are delighted to note that Us Weekly reports that Pitt's petition to officially hyphenate the adorable, multiculti tykes has been granted. The Santa Monica courts give you Maddox Chivan Jolie-Pitt and Zahara Marley Jolie-Pitt, ending over a month of crippling anxiety, heightened by recent biological complications, that the heartless judicial system might callously deny the request on grounds that the names are unfashionably unwieldy. With this procedural matter out of the way, we can now safely return to more pressing concerns, like in-utero investigations into the inevitable attractiveness of the couple's forthcoming, "real" child.
When Syriana writer-director Stephen Gaghan finally got around to reviewing his Oscar ballot yesterday, he was alarmed to discover that his screenplay, which he maintains was largely based on Robert Baer's memoir See No Evil: The True Story of a Ground Soldier in the CIA's War on Terrorism, was reclassified by the Academy from an adapted to an original work:
Today's Wall Street Journal reports that the flirtation between Pixar's Steve Jobs and Disney's Bob Iger has turned "serious," advancing from the Sitting Deliciously Close On The Couch, Coyly Swirling Wine In The Glass, With Occasional Smoldering Eye Contact Stage to the "Does It Make You Feel Good When I Touch You There?" Stage, with an eye towards the Mouseketeers buying up The House That Toy Story Built (sub. req'd.):
· The incredibly inspired idea of the day: The WOW Report edits together a safe-for-work (well, if you have a pretty liberal workplace) version of the Colin Farrell sex video.
· "Life is a massive fuckin' mystery... and the best way to crack it is megadoses of psychedelics. (...) We are bacteria. That's what it's all about." So sayeth Joe Rogan, Fear Factor host and amateur neurochemist.
· This might be a first in Hollywood: being waited on by an actor before his career is over.
· Humpy E! gossip Ted Casablanca, unquestioned master of the linguistically adventurous blind item, owns up to asking Clooney if he'd be Heath Ledger's next cowboy bottom.
· The Cos's lady problems might be explained by the fact that he's a vampire.
· Fametracker fame-audits Brad and Angelina's fetus.
· Lindsay Lohan's mom seems far more concerned about dogs and cats activating her daughter's asthma than her "less than a pack a day" smoking habit. Or, you know, the other stuff.
Being a Hollywood assistant often comes with a list of job expectations that could never fit into a 100-word blurb on the UTA job list. Take for instance the recent lawsuit brought against Laurence Fishburne by a former assistant, who claims that Morpheus doesn't really care if you take the red or blue pill, as long as you take the Pill:
· Author Blair Tindall signs Mozart in the Jungle: Sex, Drugs and Classical Music at Book Soup. The hook: "Later, her blossoming career as a freelance musician in New York introduced her to a classical music demimonde of cocaine parties and group sex..." Yup, good enough for us.
· Host J. Keith van Straaten gathers VH-1's Rachel Harris and three other panelists (and a high-quality mystery guest) for his live version of What's My Line? at the Acme Theater.
· The Academy/Contemporary Documentary Series at UCLA screens Howard Zinn: You Can't Be Neutral On A Moving Train, a doc about the A People's History of the United States author, for free (naturally) at the James Bridges Theater on campus. [via flavorpill]
In his wanderings, the Defamer Real Estate Correspondent inadvertently came across a property formerly owned by the first Bennifer incarnation (for those of you who suffered blunt head trauma around January of 2004, we're referencing the tabloid-friendly partnership of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez). In filing his report, he transports us back to a more innocent time, a time when two overexposed stars were on top of the world, unencumbered by flagging movie careers, more successful (Affleck) or creepy (Lopez) spouses, and the demands of new parenthood (Affleck only). Says our expert on ostentatious property:
Not a month after Brad Renfro was splashed across the front page of the LA Times being cuffed and arrested for attempting to buy heroin off a downtown corner, 1970s pop idol and longtime substance abuser Leif Garrett's even more unflattering mugshot is featured in their pages after the authorities picked him up for chasing the very same dragon:
· Welcome to Cancellation Town, population Heather Graham and John Stamos: ABC extends its "unplanned hiatus" for Emily's Reasons Why Not and Jake in Progress for at least two more weeks, and doesn't know when or if it'll show the remaining unaired episodes. [Variety]
· ...Meanwhile, Fox puts down Malcom in the Middle, sending Frankie Muniz into his movie career full-time. [THR]
· Finally, closure: Glory Road ends up edging out Hoodwinked for the weekend's number one spot after all, by a Jerry-Bruckheimer-farts-and-more-money-than-this-falls-out margin of $48k. [Variety]
· American Idol's deranged talent show of the absurd pulls in an amazing 35 million viewers. The other networks might as well run test patterns and snow on Idol night and save themselves some pain. [THR]
· New Paramount Classic honcho John Lesher, the huggingest exec in town, throws his arms around producer Scott Rudin, director Paul Thomas Anderson, and star Daniel Day-Lewis for There Will Be Blood, loosely based on a 1927 Upton Sinclair novel. [Variety]
