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· Yesterday, there was chatter that Revolution was going down. The details on Rev's "limbo," according to Var: They will release 13 already finished or in-production films via Sony over the next two years, they've ceased development while the studio "tries to figure out its future" (read: bye bye), and Joe Roth is "hammering out" his "future production arrangement" at Sony. And you can stop holding your breath: Rocky Balboa is among the saved projects. [Variety]
· Get ready for some hilarious, improvised bits about bushy mustaches and lisping riffs on the Rough Riders: Robin Williams will play Teddy Roosevelt alongside Ben Stiller in the Fox comedy A Night at the Museum. [THR]
·MGM president Dan Taylor, who oversaw the transition of the studio to Sony, "ankles" the Lion. Really, we never get tired of the ankling. [Variety]
· There is no reason to read any story with the title "'Big Momma' said knock you out." [THR]
· NBC gives a 13 episode commitment to the Aaron Sorkin/Thomas Schlamme behind-the-scenes-at-an-SNLesque-show series, which has lost the name Studio 7, but gained Matthew Perry, Steven Weber, and DL Hughley as stars. [Variety]

Somehow, Gwyneth Paltrow has developed the reputation of being somewhat of a Coldfish over the years, and frankly, we're stumped as to the reasons why. Take for example this interview with the UK's Guardian, in which she reveals her relaxed, fun take on alcohol consumption:

The NY Post reports that there is still hope that the new network Frankenstein that will be stitched together from the rotting parts of UPN and The WB might be spared from its unfortunate name:

The LAT sent a reporter into deep undercover duty for six hours of living among Sundance's swagwhores, during which he collected $11,326.89 worth of free goods—which, of course, the Times donated to charity. (We're sure the Make a Wish Foundation will find a good home for that Norelco Bodygroom "manscaping" razor.) An excerpt from the gifting suite adventure follows:

A former green beret has told the National Enquirer that "Measure of a Man" singer Clay Aiken read his man measurements on a gay internet personal ad and arranged a steamy, man-on-effeminate-AM radio-friendly-songstylist encounter:

Hollywood's favorite concerned citizen of the world, Angelina Jolie, and life-partner-of-the-moment Brad Pitt (current t-shirt: "I'm With Hollywood's Favorite Concerned Citizen Of The World," featuring an arrow he struggles to keep pointed Jolie-ward at all times) have jetted off to Davos, Switzerland for the World Economic Forum. The International Herald Tribune is blogging the event at Delving Into Davos, where it's seemingly impossible to ignore the couple's comings and goings.

· We never would've guessed that Pink would be the voice of reason about "stupid girls" like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.
· Chris Penn gets a tribute at Sundance.
· Mark down the date in your calendars: Feb. 24th could be the day that society as we know it collapses.
· Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are totally BFF with Kofi.
· See, we told you our job is easy. So easy, in fact, that poorly written TV characters can do it.
· The Gilded Moose embarks on a dangerous adventure: liveblogging his pursuit of the agent who won't call him back.

Chatter that suddenly cash-rich agency ICM has bought/is about to buy Official Agent Dance Mascot Ari Emanuel and all of his pals at Endeavor seems to be reaching a pitch that could shatter the office watercooler. We've heard that it's a done deal, that the deal is "practically" done, that it's "imminent," that assistants at agencies are already panicking about layoffs, and that Emanuel has locked his office door so that he can light a pile of hundred dollar bills on fire just to to see if he can hear Ben Franklin scream. (Perhaps our speculation about the possibility of an acquisition descended into fantasy at the end there, but you get the point. People are talking.)

Us Weekly reports that #1 Folsom Prison pin-up hunk Joaquin Phoenix survived a car crash today:

We probably all realized this already, but sometimes we need the hard data to back it up: No matter how many times Tom Cruise wrestles Oprah, engages Matt Lauer in a tense glib-off, makes Brooke Shields cry, or unconvincingly impregnates Katie Holmes, we're still powerless against him at the box-office:

Sadly, a fifth of the world's population will never know the wistful heartache of unrequited gay cowboy love, as Brokeback Mountain will not be screened in China:

· Music round-up: Anya Marina and Adrienne Pierce at Tangier; Calexico at Barnsdall Gallery Theater; and Marah (from Philly, we're told!) at the Echo.
· Recently retired/Memogated CBS news anchor Dan Rather (hey, we've heard of this guy!) speaks at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion tonight. Courage, etc etc.
· Novelist Paul Auster sits down to chat with LA Times Book Review editor David Ulin as scores eavesdrop from the audience at the Fine Arts Theatre.

Superproducer Jerry Bruckheimer knows a movie star when he sees one: he's at ease in front of the camera, has an elusive magnetism, and, most importantly of all, has a set of teeth so huge, ivory, and gleaming that they'd make Mr. Ed faint dead away from jealousy. As for the first two qualities, well, you're either born with them or you're selling used Toyotas in Cerritos. But the third? Yeah, Uncle Jerry can help you out with that:

We've still got about an hour before Oprah Winfrey's televised caning of Million Little Pieces embellisher James Frey airs on the West Coast. Winfrey, you may remember, recently threw herself between Frey and CNN's Larry King, defending her disgraced book club author from further brutalization at the hands of the skeletal softballer. Since then, the Big O's had a change of heart, and on today's show she finally gives Frey the what-for:

If you've got a couple of minutes to spare before the end of your lunch hour, we recommend that you head over to the Revolution Studios online studio store and pick up some memorabilia, because it seems that anything bearing their logo is about to become a collector's item. The rumor on the street (and in the inboxes of just about every assistant in town) is that the Revolution is over (or, if you prefer a less martial wording, Revolution has stopped spinning), with chairman Joe Roth finishing off a few projects in development and/or throwing some in a cardboard box and carrying them over to Sony in the obligatory producing deal. As is the custom when a studio goes down, we must list a smattering of its most notable failures, so join us in fondly reminiscing about Tomcats, Christmas with the Kranks, Rent, Little Black Book, and the one that rivaled even the immortal Ishtar as a punchline while simultaneously crippling two acting careers, Gigli.

Coming out of the closet is a deeply personal journey for a gay individual, often a gradual process involving much soul searching and courage. Sometimes, however, that process is inadvertently helped along by a third party, such as the flappy-lipped TV exec who outed Crumbs creator Marco Pennette to his family on a red carpet:

The celebrity press frequently misreports Angelina Jolie's stomach tattoo as reading Quod me nutrit me destruit, Latin for "What nourishes me also destroys me." Through the magic of Defamer photo-enhancement technology, we can now reveal the actual text of the ink (shown above), representing Angelina Jolie's latest attempt to completely crush Jennifer Aniston. Jolie is also planning another visit to her tattoo artist, who will etch, "And if it's a boy, we're still calling it Jen, bitch!" on the other side of her belly.

· More The CW fallout: Fox is still trying to figure out what to do with their nine UPN stations in top markets, while other affiliates lash out with public defiance: "The strength of KQCA is not solely dependent on the WB Network programming for success. We will develop a new strategy for the station, which will include new programming, new content and a new station identity." Right on! Fuck you, Gilmore Girls! [Variety]
· Sony reports a 17.5% quarterly profit (mainly on the strength of video games and fancy TVs), looks hopefully to a 2006 in which its movie operation isn't a gigantic disaster. [THR]
· Warner Bros will remake the 1944 thriller Gaslight with Pride and Prejudice director Joe Wright, but with a modern twist: The studio hopes to lure Jennifer Aniston to play a jilted woman slowly being driven insane by her ex-husband and his new girlfriend's incredibly public displays of affection. [Variety]
· Fox's American Idol continues its completely mundane obliteration of everything in its path. [THR]
· Still more Sundance deals: Lionsgate buys thriller Right At Your Door for $2 million, IFC shells out $1 mil for the documentary Wordplay. [Variety]

Kenny "I Defrauded Renee Zellweger And All I Got Was This Lousy Wedding Band" Chesney had long faded into gay cowboy obscurity, quickly eclipsed by the much hotter spurs-and-chaps action of Brokeback's Ennis and Jack. Today, thanks to a Southwest flight attendant and Fox 411's Roger Friedman, Chesney's been yanked back into our consciousness and been declared not homosexual by virtue of cougar-humping. In perhaps the strangest story we've ever heard, Friedman happened to be a passenger on the flight where a fortysomething stewardess lit this overshare shoe-bomb in front of her captive, pressured cabin audience: