With Heroes currently undergoing a ratings tailspin that even a concentrating, constipated-faced Milo Ventimiglia can do nothing about, one would think that creator Tim Kring would be trying to hold onto whatever fans he had left. Not so much! The Washington Post reports that at a recent Creative Screenwriting panel (where Kring attended solo sans two of the promised guests: Heroes executive producers that NBC recently fired), Kring complained that the Heroes downturn was less his fault and more the fault of people who actually sit down in front of the television on Mondays at 9pm (8pm central):

This year's edition of People magazine's hugely popular "Sexiest Man Alive" issue (Hugh Jackman takes top honors) will feature... um... scratch 'n sniff photos of famous dudes, like Gossip Girl actress Chace Crawford, TV show kryptonite Taye Diggs, Law & Order: SVU brute Chris Meloni, and young god swain of the oceans Michael Phelps. Each of the guys chose a scent that makes them feel sexiest, from fresh cut grass (Mr. Crawford) to L’Homme YSL parfum for Mr. Phelps. We'll take a look at each fellow's preferred odor and analyze what it's supposed to say about them and what it really says, after the jump.

Make It A Bayou Beast And A Larry Tate. Well, one thing East Coast Angeleno transplants have long been able to bitch about—where can you get a decent slice of pizza drunk at 3 a.m. in this joint?!—is finally being resolved, at least for Eastsiders. Pizza places have been popping up like mushrooms, including this storefront for NYC's cornmeal-crusted mainstay Two Boots in Echo Park. Eater says it's opening mid-December. Fuck yeah. [Eater]

The recently released poster for the Jonas Brothers' upcoming concert movie — otherwise referred to as Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience — has been the subject of intense scrutiny and debate today around Defamer HQ. On one hand, its undercurrents of everything from purity-ringed privilege to downmarket Beatlemania convey just the kind of "phenomenon" vibe Disney intends. On the other, you've got three kids dressed like bums with expensive luggage crowding into a puddle-jumper. For now, anyway, critical mass wins out; here's a case to be made for the latter.1. Find Joe Jonas a comb. Easily the best-looking of the three, Joe is nevertheless pinned at the top of the steps, 15 yards from the camera with his hair blowing in his face. If Kevin called "front" on the basis of seniority, fine, but at least mix in some Photoshop and give us the cute one, too. 2. Commission a live-performance shot. We know these guys don't play live that often, have few fans and are underphotographed in general, but Disney should consider promoting their concert film with an actual image of the boys performing. Think U2 Rattle and Hum or Eddie Murphy Raw. ESPECIALLY Eddie Murphy Raw. 3. Get a real plane. Just because the Jonas Brothers are tiny little things who travel without groupies doesn't mean they have to squeeze into their little brother's discarded toy Gulfstream. Take Led Zeppelin for example — remember the Starship, on which they traveled during their 1973 and 1975 tours? That was a rock n' roll plane.

Now that our fierce election year is over, Americans can turn their attention to more pressing matters like what is the goddamned status of the Arrested Development movie. In that spirit, then, we offer you the brand-new Arrested Development Film Tracker™, which will bring you up-to-the minute cast confirmations, disavowals, and cagey statements of, "I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it." Today, we have a brand-new development straight from the mouth from one of Arrested's key players. To the banana stand!Inaugurating the AD Film Tracker is Ron Howard, who said this during his junket duties for Frost/Nixon:

· ABC Family has picked its cast for 10 Things I Hate About You, with Gregory Peck's grandson Ethan Peck chosen for the role created by Heath Ledger. Those are some massive shoes you're filling there, young man. Big, big shoes. No pressure. But just know that with this part comes the dreams and tears of millions of Ledger fans worldwide. But no pressure. But, like, it does, so just keep remembering that. [THR] · The story of Missouri journalist Linda Trest who blew the cover of “Sergeant Bill,” the meth-lab-busting con man who terrorized a community is soon to become a major motion picture from Paramount. We think it's a drama but it could work just as well as a comedy. [THR] · "Spotted: John Malkovich at Pinkberry, being so touched by the plight of migrant children who cross illegally into the United States that he said he plans to make a documentary about it!!!" [Variety] After the jump: Come with us on a shit-blowing-up journey of a lifetime.· Discovery Channel has greenlit blowing-shit-up-umentaryThe Detonators. Said the producer, "There's a lot more to it than just blowing things up; there's a surgical precision." Wow! They're going to blow up some guy's triple-bypass! [THR] · Henry Waxman—Friend to Hollywood, Friend to Spaceship Earth™—has won the chairmanship of the House Energy and Commerce Committee. Congrats, Henry! [Variety]

For those early viewers still nursing lukewarm responses to Australia, Baz Luhrmann has a note making the rounds that hints your projectionist might be to blame. While it's hardly uncommon for anal directors to personally attend to details of test screenings and premieres, a tipster has passed along something you don't see every day: Luhrmann's personal directions to theater managers on how not to screw up his epic when it opens Nov. 26:

Truly Madly Icky: Alan Rickman is well-known for decades' worth of on-screen misdeeds, but the sex scenes in his new film Nobel Son appear to be the first for which the actor has actually felt remorse. "You show up at nine in the morning and you shake the poor woman's hand: 'Hi, nice to meet you,' and then you get at it on the desk," said Rickman, who portrays a college professor with a weakness for nubile grad-student flesh. "It's such a bizarre thing to do. You just move on as quickly as possible. I felt sorry for those women in the sex scenes." The denizens of Century City, meanwhile, are still awaiting his apology for that whole blowing-the-shit-out-of-Fox-Tower thing in Die Hard. At least the Nobel girls had a choice. [WENN]

We admit to having been somewhat flabbergasted to learn that holiday-album-pimping anti-Christ Kathie Lee Gifford had scored a plum gig hosting the new, completely essential fourth hour of The Today Show alongside Hoda Kotb. Credit where it's due, however—Gifford provides near-constant entertainment, mostly because she is vocally and visibly miserable 98% of the time. There was a classic moment on this year's Halloween episode, when she came out in a Big Bad Wolf costume that must have taken hours to put on. Noticing the younger, prettier Today girls were dressed as princesses, she launched into an angry tirade right in 30 Rock plaza, pointing to her and Meredith Vieira's horrifying Pinocchio costumes as proof that the show was "ageist and sexist." It was loud, awkward...and kind of spot-on.Today's hour provided so many awesome grumpy Kathie Lee moments, we were inspired to compile them into one misanthropic montage—edited by our video intern Daniel Caron. Within the span of one hour, she implies that the show is going to suck, complains about having to be PC about the holidays, suggests her husband is deaf, catches Cheyenne Jackson calling her a bitch, and makes a reference to "drying out" that suggests alcoholism or something much more gross. This is so awesome. We're firmly Team Kathie Lee. [Today]

While promoting her upcoming variety show Rosie Live yesterday, Rosie O'Donnell shocked exactly no one by dishing dirt on her former View cohosts. “[Barbara Walters] wanted everyone to believe and think and act as if we get along and are really good friends and happy and hang out together, and, you know, that’s just not the reality," O'Donnell said. “I’m not saying they loathe each other, but the fact of the matter is, there was not a lot of camaraderie off camera.” We've heard similar stories, but O'Donnell's comments at least compelled the co-hosts to summon some on-screen camaraderie today in order to denounce both Rosie and intermittent Barbara-basher Star Jones. Sadly, we fear that their ridiculously transparent "The Former Co-hosts Who Must Not Be Named" shtick will only open the door for a publicity-hungry Debbie Matenopolous to attempt an unsolicited, aggrieved rebuttal in the pages of Life & Style.

DaisyPushingWatch. ABC's Wednesday night lineup reached series lows. The close-to-flatlining Pushing Daisies was down 27% since its last airing opposite The Barack Obama Show, and Private Practice and Dirty Sexy Money didn't fare much better, down 15% each. On a more positive note, Gary Unmarried is up 29%! [THR]

It's increasingly difficult for us to find supporting evidence for the "Stars: Just like us!" meme that sustains us in our windowless dungeon HQ, but Twilight star Kristen Stewart may yet hold us over for the rest of the year. The young actress confides in a new interview that even she can't figure out the intense appeal of the teen-vampire romance saga — but she can apparently spot the appeal of never doing Bella Swan again as long as she lives:

· Finally, we've learned "what happened to Andrae": he's been busy watering his dress from Season 2 of Project Runway. · When told she would be attending Gucci’s Tattoo Heart Collection launch event, Madonna instead heard, "Gucci's Skin-a-Muppet Fantasyland Spectacular."· Madonna dares to push the envelope with her latest, sexually provocative reinvention as a furry. · A-Rod likes 'em hairy. Actually, hairier. · Weedwhacker, Guy, weedwhacker.

Stateside critics have finally seen Australia, and the reviews are in! Kind of, anyway; we've mostly been sorting through first impressions, rough blog sketches and less-then-soaring anti-summaries ("Some kind of lethargy virus had taken over my system," wrote Jeffrey Wells), but we think we have enough to go on to figure out where Baz Luhrmann's epic may sit among this fall's most anticipated releases. Your one-stop cheat sheet follows the jump.· It's... OK! Todd McCarthy has the most substantial review so far in Variety, starting off:

· In fact, he says so in this clip. Oh, and Leary defends his theory that most autistic kids are in actuality "stupid. Or lazy. Or both." Apparently that quote from his book was taken entirely out of context. Correction appended! · Kevin Spacey takes a pretty unequivocal stand on Prop 8. · Do you have Obama Cabinet Fever? We do! And we can get right behind Health and Human Services appointee Sally Jesse Raphael. Wait—what? · Ooh—the claws are really coming out in the ongoing Project Runway fracas. Lifetime is filing a countersuit against Bravo, NBC Universal, and the Weinsteins. Models, this is also a litigious competition for you, as well. · Hey—squirrels dancing to Michael Jackson!

Update time! Last week we introduced you to Jonathan Jaxson, the incompetent publicist/Perez-sexing gossip who went spectacularly public with the worst PR strategy in the history of flackdom: Start a nude-photo scandal with his Disney-star client Adrienne Bailon. It was bad beyond a reasonable doubt then, and it bottomed out this week when Bailon and her Cheetah Girls cohorts were effectively booted from performing at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.Macy's deflected blame to the group itself, with a rep telling Fox that the Girls were confirmed to appear Nov. 27, "but due to scheduling issues they could not make it." No one's sure what those scheduling issues are, though, considering that Bailon and Co. have the day off during their tour's East Coast swing — and Jaxson isn't returning requests for comment. But that's OK! Tune in to Jaxson's next appearance on his local CBS affiliate in Atlanta, where he'll spend his weekly commentary segment once again spinning how this scenario helps his young star, as though losing an audience of roughly 54 million viewers ultimately has her career right where she wants it. Keep up the good work, Jax!

· Miranda Lee Richards at Tangier, Dub Club at the Echoplex, and Josh "Mr. Katherine Heigl" Kelley at the Hotel Cafe. · Go skating! It's time for Ice at Santa Monica. · Touching childhood gender-identity tale—or as Barbara Walters would put it, "A girl with a dick"—Ma vie en rose screens at 7:30 at the Egyptian Theatre.

When she's not dancing through her Malibu mansion belting "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On it)" into her hairbrush, Jennifer Aniston likes to curl up with a good book and a bad singer and watch a little TV (Stars! They're just like us — well, not us us, because we've got a cobwebbed DVR list that still includes episodes of this exciting new show called "Presidential Debates" that we have yet to finish. Don't spoil us!). During her sojourn on the sofa, Aniston has rediscovered all twenty-eight seasons of her hit tee-vee show Friends, an exciting development that her actual friends are quick to poop all over:

R.I.P. Irving Brecher died Monday at Cedars-Sinai at the age of 94. Not familiar with that name? You're more than likely familiar with his writing: He wrote Meet Me In St. Louis, Life of Riley, the Marx Brothers's At the Circus and Go West, and did uncredited punch-up on The Wizard of Oz. From Go West: "S. Quentin Quale: Didn't we meet at Monte Carlo the night you blew your brains out?" [USA Today]

We can't help but wonder if each airing will be the last for our colorful, quirky friend Pushing Daisies. Even Rupert Murdoch has caught the PD fever, as the Post is imploring all y'all to at least TiVo tonight's show. But that'll mean you won't be able to record Coolio's Rules on Oxygen and Sandwich Paradise on Travel at the same time. You'll live . WATCH Pushing Daisies [8 PM, ABC] - Enjoy it while you still can. This week, Ned (Lee Pace) agrees to help "The Great Hermann" (Fred Willard), when the magician's animal assistants begin to die mysteriously. Meanwhile, Lily (Swoosie Kurtz) is suspicious of (Stephen Root) Dwight's intentions. We're glad to see our favorite hard-drinking, eye-patched Charles sister, even if it's one of the last times.Stylista [9 PM, CW] - Even though this week's episode rips off a scene from The Devil Wears Prada (assistants have to memorize high-profile guest info so they can instantly provide it to Anne Slowey at a social affair) we still are obsessed with this show. For the social event of the season, each contestant is allowed to borrow an item from Elle's closet. If Kate wins, as we hope, look for her to get a show where she rips off Anne Slowey ripping off Meryl Streep.