Well, it's come to this:

Though Michael Cera has voiced skepticism about the Arrested Development movie, at least there are still some more original cast members willing to board the stair car.

Sam Bottoms, who contributed key supporting roles in the classic '70s bookends The Last Picture Show and Apocalypse Now, died Tuesday from a brain tumor. He was 53.

When Jeremy Piven dropped out of Speed-the-Plow today and cited a "high mercury count" as the reason, we wondered whether that excuse could possibly be topped. As it turns out, it could!

Yesterday, Barack Obama's inauguration committee announced its choice for invocation speaker: controversial Saddelback founder Rick Warren. Elisabeth Hasselbeck, no doubt expecting a bomb-laden address from William Ayers, couldn't have been more pleased.

Variety today offers a disturbing memo to anyone who had "DreamWorks' resurgence FTW" in their forecast of industry predictions for 2009: Maybe next year.

Awards excitement! London Film Critics give Slumdog six nominations, and Frost/Nixon and Happy-Go-Lucky three each. Chicago Critics named Wall-E Best Picture, in line with LA's own shadowy cabal of professional movie-opinion-havers.

Baz Luhrmann takes a long time to make a movie. His Australia came out seven years after Moulin Rouge!, which came out five years after Romeo + Juliet. The gestation periods are so long that nothing is ever set in stone, in terms of his future projects, until cameras have started rolling. Which is why we chuckle a bit and scratch our heads when Nikki Finke says that the Aussie is definitely doing a Great Gatsby movie for his next endeavor. Nothing is ever definite with this man! Look at some other Luhrmann rumors that haven't—but may still!—come to fruition.

12/17 — CHRIS COOPER at El Coyote. Scrubbed clean (teeth looking great, BTW! Who knew?!). Wearing urban hipster hoodie fitting right in with the crowd. I'm in town from NY so I made sure he didn't notice me noticing him. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

When Michael Phelps-lusting newsman Anderson Cooper first professed his obsession with Real Housewives breakout NeNe Leakes, we thought NeNe knew exactly what it was she was up against. Maybe not, she's revealed.

A statement sent to Defamer purports to offer an apology from Lorne Michaels, who regrets equating NY governor David Paterson's blindness to garden-variety retardation last week on SNL. But wait, says NBC: He's not sorry!

We thought a fun way to keep track of where celebrities stand on the impending SAG strike would be with some printable holiday greeting cards!

Not a day goes by that Jennifer Aniston fails to remind us that she was naked in GQ this month (but can she wrest December's nudity crown back from usurper Scott Caan?).

If ever David Mamet had justification to launch one of his famous, profanity-studded tirades, the news that Jeremy Piven had abruptly (and weirdly) quit his play Speed-the-Plow would certainly seem to fit the bill.

The Screen Actors Guild took its finger off the nuke button long enough to select 2008 awards nominations, while the Academy narrowed its Best Song candidates to a modest 49.

· Our German's rusty, but did that zookeeper just say, "Hippopotamus calf meat is incredibly tender, and can be enjoyed with both reds and whites. What a delicious Christmas dinner awaits us this year!?"

It's been over thirty years since a contestant on The Price is Right guessed the exact price of their Showcase Showdown. So why was Drew Carey's so unenthused when it happened yesterday?

· There is only One: Metallica magnetizes the Forum with death.

While we've already long forgotten Righteous Kill—and the onerous sins of its one-sheet—England is only now becoming acquainted with its Pacino/DeNiro double-bed-shitting pleasures. It can't even seem to get an in-your-face tagline right.

With the premiere of his new film Seven Pounds just around the corner, Will Smith should be ostentatiously fake-laughing all the way to the bank. So why isn't he?