Francis Ford Coppola is a big fat guy who sits in his California mansion, drinking wine and thinking up movie ideas. He is also an astute critic of marriage. His problem? If his wife works, who will cook and clean?

So we got duped. Twice! Heidi and Spencer, the prats from The Hills who supposedly quit the horrid reality trash barge I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Outta Here!, haven't, in fact, been gotten outta there.

Martha Graham once said that "dance is a song of the body. Either of joy or pain." Last night's New Jersey deep dive proved her sage point. There was joy and there was pain, but also there was dancing.

Officially out of ideas, Hollywood continues to mine the recent past for any bit of something worth reviving. Movies that you and I both loved once. Plays that the English loved many centuries ago.

Today we have a alpha male actor who wears makeup, a television star who's less than discreet about his infidelities, and an actress's live in boyfriend who's much the same.

Maybe you've heard of film director Joseph McGinty Nichol, popularly known as "McG." Perhaps you'd like him to get beat up, if only because he calls himself McG? If so, don't fret—-Bill Murray already did it.

Consulting editor Jason Oliver Nixon may yet bring civility to the man-eat-man hellscape that OK! magazine seems to have become. Nixon, who we're told is still running the show, is to be joined by editorial consultant Mark Pasetsky, the former Life & Style honcho who now operates CoverAwards.com.

Summer is basically here. Your kids are more wild-eyed by the day, that tiny swimsuit seems tinier and tinier, and the television has begun to fizzle and fall quiet. Except it doesn't have to! There's so much summer television to be watched and absorbed. Why, enough for a listicle, even.

[OMG, OMG. That's Adam Lambert who I think should be forcefully made king of the gay spokesmen and wear a sign that says 'I"m gay" everyday and who is a boy, holding hands with another boy. Image via Splash]

The creative success of Conan O'Brien's big Tonight Show debut is still being debated, but in the black/white world of Ratings Land, he appears to have pulled it off. Conan's first show gave the late night program its highest Monday numbers in four years.

Well, that didn't go well at all. One episode and several crying jags/smacking-water-bottles-out-of-Frangela's-hands later, Heidi and Spencer from The Hills have quit the disastrous reality series I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Outta Here!. Mostly because it's "not a nice show." Plus Heidi got bug bites.

Both rappers who are real and rappers who were on silly shows from the early-mid 90's are getting acting work in Hollywood. Plus TV stars of old and new get good news.

Today we have a pair of brother ladykillers, a starlet with some eating issues, a comedian who has to pay his new assistant an exorbitant amount of money just so they'll stay, and a vainglorious reality star.

So apparently there's been this huge debate raging all across America today over whether or not Bruno's bare-assed landing on Eminem in the "69" position was staged? Though we're utterly baffled that there's even any question at all over this, we have confirmation tonight that it was fake.

Are you excited about Conan's Tonight Show debut tonight? We are! We've got big bowl of tortilla chips already out and we're about to whip up some homemade queso dip! Jealous? Regardless, here's something to whet your appetite—-a few of Conan's opening jokes have been sent to us!

In 1950 Life photographer Ed Clark received a call from an executive at 20th Century Fox lauding a "hot tomato" the studio had signed. She was an unknown named Marilyn Monroe. Clark photographed her later that year in Los Angeles' Griffith Park. Never-used negatives from the shoot were recently discovered.

(UPDATED) After eight years as editor in chief, Laurie Ochoa is leaving LA Weekly as Village Voice Media severs more of its own legacy.

In a shocking breach of the integrity (ahem) his fans have come to depend upon, it turns out Perez Hilton might not have phallically doodled on celebrity pictures alone. He uses one or more ghost writer/sploogers. And he might have been a secret.

An Israeli TV star with the improbably hilarious name of Dudu Topaz has been arrested on suspicion that he organized a series of attacks on his enemies in the TV industry. Three vicious incidents have been blamed on "The Ratings King" and his nefarious team of security men.

It's not clear what Chase Carey is thinking: The DirecTV CEO is poised to become vice chairman at Rupert Murdoch's smaller News Corp., where he has virtually no shot at the top job.