Did Page Six get you all excited this morning about the possibility of Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law doing a steamy gay love scene in Guy Ritchie's upcoming Sherlock Holmes? We scoured the screenplay for the movie's gayest scene.

Has any celebrity tied himself so closely to a technology product as Ashton Kutcher with Twitter? It's doubtful, and yet Kutcher hasn't received a dime for his defacto endorsement. That's not lost on the actor.

If you didn't like our bootleg leaked version of the trailer for Ho/Bro blogger Tucker Max's upcoming cinematic tour-de-force, I Enjoy Alcohol, you can watch the official trailer below. Really, this one's much better.

Social networking is for lonely, psychotic shut-ins. Or at least that's the upshot of the jokes in the attached clip from Adam Sandler vehicle Funny People. And still MySpace apparently cooperated with the filmmakers; its co-founder and logo appear.

Today in celebrity mishandlings of proffered fame: A star singer who can't afford a car, and a sad brother who will wait, forever, for that apocryphal fan to come along for an autograph. He's still waiting.

Attorneys for an author named Jordan Scott have fired off a cease and desist letter to Hachette Book Group claim that Breaking Down, the fourth book in Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series, ripped off major storylines from Scott's book, The Nocturne.

Today in celebrity character assassination: An actress who tried to score some free food with her blinding fame, and an "obnoxious celeb" with an obnoxious nickname.

Hollywood's been waiting for the answer to the question Does Judd Apatow have what it takes to be a "serious film" filmmaker? or at least wants to know about his bankability in drama. Take a guess what happened.

Twilight's Robert Pattinson works with fictional teenage vampires professionally. Little did he know the rabid, bloodsucking adolescent desperation he'd invite by taking the gig. NYPD sources now claim that the cops are looking to take over his overwhelmed security detail.

Starting tomorrow, assistants toiling away inside of the tumultuous WME talent agency will be dealt a 25-30 percent drop in their salaries. So how will Hollywood's well- dressed underclass survive on their food-service wages? Here are some friendly tips!

Michael Cera has dumped long-time girlfriend Charlyne Yi. At least that's what a source tells Star Magazine now that Cera is "superfamous" he's "itching to date other people." Here's how we cope.

Three picture deals, reunions, prequels, and the secret ingredient to box office success have all been revealed! Like a fresh patch of skin that emerges after a viscous sunburn, this last week of July has some rejuvenating news from Hollywood.

Today in human nature unleashed: A Catholic actress who sins on the weekend, a bulimic singer with a knife, and another actress who is not averse to doing coke off various parts of the human anatomy.

Oh, Wes Anderson! It looked as though you squandered your immense talent with a spate of insufferably quirky, predictable, awkward young man flicks. Could a stop-motion kids' film bring you out of your self-parodying slump?

In the waning days of his publicity blitz, Judd Apatow is blogging over at MTV in some kind of meta 'comedians-are- sensitive-beings-who-have-Google-alerts-and-read-them' promotion for Funny People. It's quite enjoyable!

OK! magazine wanted to drum up sales with this cover about Jessica Simpson's weight loss. When Us Weekly ran the same basic cover, it was their best-selling cover of 2007 — the same year, incidentally, OK! found Jessica's "new" body.

Paul Giamatti ruined Twilight. Director Paul Haggis inexplicably continues to get work. The Watchmen ruins Nic Cage's DVD's dominance. Howard Zinn ruins Matt Damon or vice-versa.

You thought you'd go your whole day without some belligerent Mel Gibson news? Never! At a nightclub, with his pregnant girlfriend last night, Gibson got into a kerfuffle with a "pushy report". Then a T-shirt got ripped.

Today in tastelessness: A TV actor who maybe likes to wear panties made for the ladies, and a movie actress secretly withdrawing from smack.