It's a razor thin line between being the coolest person on the planet and being the uncoolest person on the planet, and hoodie hearthrob Michael Cera may just have crossed over.

While this newfangled internet may be all the rage with kids, in Hollywood status terms, it's still the booby prize for ousted executives. The latest winner: the former boss of talent agency William Morris may be joining YouTube.

The devil is in the details, and the details to this little devil's story keep getting piled on. Piven told David Letterman last night that he not only had mercury poisoning, but a host of other ailments as well.

Don't blame the Good Morning America producers for Whitney Houston's creaky voice this morning. A tipster says they went to extreme measures, including digital "sweetening," to rescue what was supposed to be the singer's comeback performance in Central Park.

There's halitosis, and then there is the kind that makes you want to wretch. But this stench-breathed star has nothing on a vain actress, a cheating newspaper man, a girly golfer, and an actress who's dying to keep her secret!

Ashes may still be raining down on the city. Summer doldrums may be stifling the rest of America. But for Hollywood, this week marks the kick-off of Festival Season! Ole! And the party is breaking out everywhere you look.

Some have questioned whether Drake, perhaps best known for playing Jimmy on excellent Canadian soap Degrassi: The Next Generation, is for real. Well, he is. And he may be the best thing to come out of that show ever.

So, single gal Kourtney Kardashian's with child. While some people will shake a finger at the 30-year old's apparent irresponsibility, her friend and reality show costar Erica Mena calls double-K a "role model." Oh, really?

From Alderaan to the Crab Nebula, if there is one thing that holds all God's species together it is our faith that the selection of Miss Universe is impartial and free of favoritism. Now that may be in doubt.

You want serious critics?! You sure you want 'em? How bad do you want 'em? We rose up against the frivolity of Bens Mankiewicz and Lyons. And now meet the This-Is-Cinema dream team — A.O. Scott and Michael Phillips.

Remember the prolonged outrage-masked-as-concern over Mary-Kate Olsen's shrinking body? Well, it's back, but this time its directed toward her fleshy frame. What's the poor thing gotta do to keep the tabloids off her back?

There'll be no Mad Men renewal-cliffhanger this year: AMC's announced it's ordering a fourth season.

Joe Francis' storied career has been the Wal-Mart of slime: something to offend the whole family. Tax evasion, child exploitation, assaulting the press — he's got bargains in every aisle. Some wondered, what's left? But Francis has topped himself.

Limping back from summer vacation, plumes of smoke hanging over Burbank, Hollywood may be in flames, but for Hollywood the Land of Dreams, nothing gets the brain churning again like erasing the past and starting afresh.

While we weren't loving last night's uneven season finale of Weeds, we were loving Nancy Botwin's parenting skills—or lack thereof. Who wants to be raised by a boring stroller-pusher when you can have someone to bring the crazy?

Is everyone in Hollywood on drugs? These days the place sounds like a campy movie with Patty Duke. One actress slips them in her Starbucks and the other chews them on the plane. Gimme my dolls!

A man who wanted to be on Paris Hilton's "best-friend" reality show has been arrested after sending in pictures of children in sexual positions, some "masochistic," as part of his application. And justice finds another asshole sicko. Hooray! [Houston Press]

It's official: MTV is going ahead with that horrible and unnecessary Teen Wolf series.

First gay housewives, now lesbian housewives? We've seen everything. Or, we will, because Showtime picked up nine episodes of a new Sapphic reality show. Yay! It's title? Not so new: The L-Word: Los Angeles.

No surprise: convicted rapist and former designer Arnand Jon Alexander, who appeared America's Next Top Model, was sentenced in LA to at least 59 years in jail. The 35-year old now faces trials in NY and Texas. [NY Post]