A series reboot has the detriment of trying to recreate greatness while making something entirely original. Last night, the first episode of Melrose Place did neither. Did no one learn anything the first time around?

It might have tasted like cherry Chap Stick, but these ladies didn't like kissing a girl, so now they're just friends. Not kissing anytime soon are two rival costars and a lonely celeb. Pucker up, everyone!

Spoilers come in many shapes, sizes and colors. And the latest Sex and the City leaks are decidedly lavender. That means gay.

Oh, good! Tila Tequila took our advice. After using her virtual power to slam Shawne Merriman, whom she accused of choking her, Tequila's abandoning one of her many internet platforms and letting a professional do the dirty, image-saving work.

The new Melrose Place is darker, grittier and perhaps even a bit sexier than its predecessor. It also tests America's ability to suspend its collective disbelief. And it wins.

Once upon a time, back when Hollywood-related media was relatively quaint, there was a man named Army Archerd. After covering the entertainment scene for the Associated Press, in 1956 he moved to Variety, where his column became a hit.

The saddest news for Michaela Watkins and Casey Wilson isn't that they are out of jobs on Saturday Night Live. It's that they're entering the tradition of the show's women who are never heard from again. Jan Hooks, anyone?

For a schlocky camp-fest, the original Melrose Place sure launched a lot of stars. While we have no idea what to expect tonight from the cast of the relaunch, we do have some bets on who might be returning.

What do celebrities dream of? If you're Charlie Sheen and Heidi Fleiss' been out of business for decades, your fantasies likely revolve around interviewing President Obama and nailing him to the floor over the Pentagon's secret role in 9/11.

Leave it to the media to get the story wrong. Last week, the web was swarming with talk that the new Rambo movie would bejust a big dumb action flick. Hard to imagine anyone would believe such talk.

At this hour, the survival of the internet remains in doubt after the release of a new still from the upcoming Twilight film New Moon caused teenage girls to flood chat boards and fan sites worldwide.

Have you already forgotten Sunday's episode of Mad Men? We haven't. It had all the ingredients of a Russian novel: sad families, death, and bad Ann-Margret imitators. Also like Dostoevsky, we learned five new ways we can fail our parents.

After the orgy end, the hard work begins. There are vomitoriums to be scrubbed and receipts for Transformers 2 to be counted. The summer belonged to Michael Bay and Megan Fox, but this week belongs to the accountants.

We love tearing celebrities down, but it's so much harder when they're doing charity work and helping a family member dealing with a terminal illness. Damn this heart! No sympathy however for a fashion mag whose Twitter password is retarded.

Ad agencies and network executives have long decried the the digital age's assault on commercials and, thus, revenue. And now they're forced to adapt, a move that brings writers into the fold and gives product placement an even bigger spotlight.

Some die-hard Sex and the City may throw a fit after the publication pictures of Kim Cattrall holding the movie sequel's script. But, before they explode, let it be known the snapped pages give away entirely foreseeable, cringe-inducing plot points.

Much hay has been made over Hollywood's growing reliance on the remake. Creativity is dead, yes, we know, but, more importantly, the silver screen's recycling kick also acts as an endorsement for mediocrity. And it's all your fault!

Tila Tequila has mastered technological self-promotion. It helped her infect popular culture. Now, in the wake of her domestic violence drama with football player Shawn Merriman, she's back in the saddle to defend her name. But she really shouldn't.

While you were enjoying the "last" day of Summer, Hollywood big shot Harvey Weinstein was laboring away in his own personal mine shaft. Perhaps he's thinking of ideas for the forthcoming Fraggle Rock adventure? Or he's just saving on Kleenex.

The Los Angeles Times is losing its online managing editor to CNN.com, editor Russ Stanton confirmed in a staff email, reprinted below. The departure marks the further dismantling of a team that relaunched the site starting about five years ago.