Hey y'all. This is Joshua David Stein. I'm writing this from beautiful Savannah Georgia where it's hard to find Bravo and thusly Top Chef: Las Vegas. Luckily we found it in a hotel lobby bar.

Like snowflakes of dysfunction, every relationship is different. In Hollywood they can include the wife sleeping with other men under her husband's nose. Must be great to be famous! It also helps that people hide your drinking binges. Yay celebrity!

Well, the contentious rumors have been confirmed: Justin Timberlake will play founding president Sean Parker in a little film entitled The Social Network, which everyone else just calls "that Facebook movie." Meanwhile, Jesse Eisenberg will play founder Mark Zuckerberg. [AFP]

Is there anything Barack Obama can't do? Not according to rapper Common, who credits the President with sending hip-hop off into a more cuddly, less bling-centric direction. And now peace reigns for all.

Some of you may recall a little tape we ran last month featuring a largely naked romp between Eric Dane, his wife Rebecca Gayheart and beauty-queen-turned-Hollywood-madam Kari Ann Peniche. Today the Danes apparently registered their non-love of it in court.

Mackenzie Phillips is setting the media ablaze with her revelation that she had sex with her father. Having come this far, just what will celebrity biographies have to confess to get attention a decade from now? Here's a preview!

Rocker Marilyn Manson has been diagnosed with Swine Flu.

And neither has his audience! Last night he featured two tired bits from '90s punchline Pee Wee Herman. What's next, dancing Itos? Even the new talent he's found is spectacularly unfunny. Oh, and he just discovered gentrification in Harlem!

The internet continues to baffle and comically anger Justine Bateman. The Family Ties star and manic blogger is calling people "shithead" and "human waste" for spamming her Twitter homepage, unaware she's seeing a new feature announced over a month ago.

Last week, Melrose Place was a hooker with a heart of gold. Last night, she turned into that crazy girl who hides in your closet and tries on your clothes. She makes a bad roommate, but great TV!

Wondering why that one Lost DVD never arrived? If you live in New England, blame the Netflix Nabber. Myles Weathers pinched more than 3,000 DVDs from the mail distribution center where he worked. He faces five years in prison.

Halloween came early for this dude, who donned a cape and tried to fly off his roof. He got high alright. What disguises will a knocked-up celeb, a cheating actress, and a pill-popping model dream up? Probably something naughty!

John Updike's The Witches of Eastwick has been a book, a film, a sequel and people have twice tried — and failed — to make it into a television series. Now ABC has done just that, but is it wise?

The nubile Emma Watson definitely upstaged old bag Victoria Beckham at Burberry's London fashion show.

Celebrity memoirs often focus on stereotypical subjects, like drug abuse and insecurity. How pedestrian! Thankfully Mackenzie Phillips, a former sitcom star and long-time drug addict, breaks boundaries in her new tome. And they're very unsettling.

We've all been concerned about the remake saturation that has plagued Hollywood as of late. Even though America has subconsciously begged for Footloose: Redux, our culture's fascination with all things old borderlines on pathological. Thank goodness, then, for Meghan McCain.

Together-at-last trio Jason Schwartzman, Zach Galifianakis, and Ted Danson star in Bored to Death, a new HBO comedy series based on a Jonathan Ames story from his collection The Double Life Is Twice As Good.

Those sparks are courtesy of Georgina Sparks, who made her triumphant return last night to lay low the once mighty Blair Waldorf. As all the kids start at college, the power is all out of whack, with some unlikely victors.

It isn't every day a friend of Gawker is nominated for an Emmy award. Come to think of it, it isn't any day...To commemorate the occasion we asked former media public enemy/Top Chef judge Toby Young to share the experience.

We thought the action on the Emmy stage was juicy, but apparently two actresses had a meeting in the ladies room and two different stars paid for their dates. The award for the trashiest awards show goes to...