Showtime has released the season premieres of Dexter and Californication to the public on the web. So we have embedded the full episodes below, to enjoy at your leisure while you lean back on our plush Gawker VIP virtual upholstery.

If Roman Polanski wins his petition for house arrest he'll probably end up here at "Milky Way," the chalet he owns outside Gstaad. At least it's got a view. [Images via Getty]

So far the public outrage hasn't been nearly as intense as Janet Jackson's Nipplegate, but once the thought of a naked ladyflower on prime time television settles in, the reaction will be huge. Next up, FCC fines.

One thing is for sure, where ever you stand on the Roman Polanski case, you are angry today. Fingers are pointing; names are being called. And we're just getting warmed up. Here's your day in Polanski:

Welcome to Melrose Place 101. On the syllabus, bad acting, random sex acts, barely logical plot points, bitchy scheming, and a pop quiz on crazy. Too bad this episode only managed to get a C-.

The Hills are on fire! Everyone is talking about last night's sixth season premiere, but it looks like Lauren Conrad leaving has doomed the show. Know what, who cares? The City is a million times better, anyway.

Usually we bitch about stars doing too many drugs, but this one is battling serious depression and isn't getting the pills she needs. If only there were a pill to cure bad fashion sense. There's one star who needs it!

Yeesh! Former singer and current train wreck Amy Winehouse recently spent a screechy, ear-splitting night rapping. It's on video. And it's just awful.

To increasingly impoverished Main Street, U.S.A., Britney Spears recently spent $3,000 on candy. Riot!

Oh, amusement! A reporter at the White House today used a Saturday Night Live-born term while asking Robert Gibbs a question. But, sadly, it wasn't "fuck."

Its new shows are in the toilet and it conceded a huge chunk of its prime time lineup to Jay Leno's horrid chatfest. How does the network rebound? By purchasing a new game show! The future holds nothing but death.

Johnny Depp made a big deal about making known his dissatisfaction after his friend Dick Cook was ousted from Disney last week. Apparently he's already forgotten about that.

Jon Gosselin's and his mid-life crisis are dropped from TV show, renamed Kate Plus 8.

As my momma used to say, secrets don't make friends, but they make for great enemies and terrific currency. Last night the Upper East Side was full of loose lips, sinking ships, and the most ghetto Southeby's auction ever.

It may be weeks before Roman Polanski's extradition request is heard in Swiss courts. Meanwhile, the world is gripped with confusion and outrage, a heady combination in what is shaping up as one of the great kerfuffles of our times.

It's always hard making it into the office in the morning, but this guy has been missing for weeks while on a bender. Also not on set, an annoying dancing star and a cheating celeb spouse. Time to clock in!

Remember how Serena Williams went crazy and threatened to make a line judge choke on her balls and everyone was outraged by this American idol's unladylike behavior? Well, none of that matters to Tampax, which considers Williams a menstruating hero.

In somewhat lighter news, let's all can the schadenfreude surrounding the cancellation of Mischa Barton's horrible model soap, The Beautiful Life. But think of all the lost souls cast out into the streets, like actress Sara Paxton.

We've gotten most of the new series premieres out of the way, and a funny thing happened—most of them are doing pretty well. What does all this mean?

Arianna Huffington is accustomed to a life of wealth. She rides her friends' yachts and jets. She even wanted to buy a plane for the Huffington Post, says an insider. So why's she talking about CEO "excess" on The View?