Rosie O'Donnell has really embraced the blog medium. In fact, she's so comfortable with it that it seems she's just announced chatting about her partner's 2002 pregnancy* in her inimitable, stream-of-consciousness/haiku-hybrid writing style. Behold:

Because the public's unslakeable thrist for celebrity sightings cannot possibly be sated by one huge post on a Wednesday afternoon, we offer two reader reports of the stars in attendance at last night's U2 show at Staples Center:

Not everyone in Hollywood was pleased with the changes to this year's Oscar telecast, in which producer Gil Gates forced the recipients of some of the ceremony's technical (read: less sexy) awards to receive their statues in the audience—or by herding all nominees onto the stage, where the losers' spontaneous expressions of agony could more easily be captured in a single camera shot. The professional organizations of movie editors and visual effects artists penned letters to Cates expressing their displeasure with the new format:

Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are sent in by our readers. Send yours to tips@defamer.com and let the world know where Orlando Bloom walks his dog.

Constantly sniffing sister site Gawker tipped us to this picture of Shannon Elizabeth featured in today's Page Six. Admittedly, we're not up on the latest Hollywood manicure techniques, but if you break a nail, don't you file all of them down? Curious. What could a recently-divorced starlet who's back out on the town possibly do with a couple of unclipped fingernails? We have no idea, but we'd bet that her vanguard fashion sense will make her the hit of the bathroom stall.

· Chairman Kevin Martin "softens" the FCC's stance on regulating cable TV by issuing a darling ultimatum: Police yourself and we won't have to do it for you. Government regulation has rarely felt so warm and fuzzy! It's like an Ugg boot on the windpipe! [Variety]
· Drew Barrymore's Flower Films drops Columbia Pictures like Tom Green once his career went cold, finding a new home at Warner Brothers. [THR]
· Spike Lee realizes that he probably needs Denzel Washington to make a movie that isn't universally hated, casts him to star in Inside Man. [Variety]
· Michael Bay may direct the Stephen Spielberg-produced live-action Transformers movie for DreamWorks and Paramount. A hack director and a beloved children's cartoon from the 80's—this might be crazy enough to work! The project provides ample opportunities to things to needlessly explode. [Variety]
·The resurgent ABC picks up Alias, Lost, Boston Legal and Desperate Housewives for next season. Like they weren't going to pick up Housewives, even if the cast has gone batshit insane? [THR]

Gawker Media's latest baby has kicked its way out of the incubator and escaped into the wild. This morning marks the launch of Sploid, a news site for people who feel dirty after reading Drudge, but wish to feel dirty in new, exciting ways during their news transmission. In the words of Evil Blog Overlord Nick Denton, the man who signs our paychecks while paddling us with a Louisville Slugger:

Johnny Ray Gasca, the arrested movie pirate who eluded the FBI for a year after giving his lawyer the slip while awaiting trial, was finally caught in Florida yesterday. According to today's LAT story on Gasca's capture, being a wildly successful bootlegger requires a seemingly total absence of taste, as Gasca was nabbed recording screenings of The Core and Anger Management. Here, MPAA chief Dan Glickman crows about the collar:

After a relatively calm period in Britney Spears-related nonsense, the embattled pop star is now dominating the tabloids like she did in her barefoot-in-the-public-bathroom, Cheeto-gobbling heyday. The latest: Spears and rapidly-obsolescing husband unit Kevin Federline reportedly occupied separate hotel rooms in Santa Monica while their house in Malibu is being renovated to include a new background-dancing studio, and had to call for an "emergency meeting" (we picture a red phone with a direct line to the lawyers that drafted the prenup) with their families to repair their failing relationship. Fair enough. But what about the publicist? How does this latest development affect her? Apparently, this harrowing news drove her completely insane, as the rep tells Page Six:

Normally, the Defamer Corrections space is reserved for making amends for our own inaccuracies, errors, and omissions. Thanks to a reader, today we can lend our corrective assistance to an editor at the AP, whose faulty identification of Desperate Housewives star Marcia Cross on the infamous Vanity Fair cover may incite yet another sweaty round of the now-legendary bitch-orgy should Cross' publicist discover it:

· Hey, free Botox! But you've got to bring a friend who's willing to pay full price. That's OK, getting paralyzing toxins injected into one's face is an inherently social activity.
· We've been assured by a reliable source that yes, this is indeed a photo of Salma Hayek mopping a floor while wearing a John Kerry mask, not some Dadaist Hollywood prank.
· Deep-thinking blog Malis in Wonderland brings up an excellent point.
· Is it juvenile to point out that an article on indecency jumps onto page 69? Probably, but go ask Cinemocracy just to make sure. (And while you're there, tell him to get that enormous banner under control.)
· Well, what else do you suggest they do with Hunter S. Thompson's ashes?

OMG! Did you hear about what happened at the Vanity Fair cover shoot with the Desperate Bitchwives, um, we mean, Housewives? The AP was all:

· When the ArcLight isn't at the center of a war involving Star Wars fans with a queuing fetish, they occasionally screen movies and host question-and-answer sessions with people involved with the films. Tonight, they're showing The Brady Bunch Movie and producers Sherwood Schwartz & Lloyd Schwartz will field some questions about Gary Cole's kinky fright-wig.
· Thespiancentric film festival Method Fest continues tonight in Calabasas. Just try and get some decent service at a bar or restaurant tonight, we dare you.
· A token attempt at a well-rounded selection of shows: Dizzee Rascal at the El Rey; Drive-By Truckers at Amoeba (free, yo! get there early); the art-damaged stylings of Fischerspooner overtake Cinespace for their CD release party.

While on one level we take some degree of comfort in knowing that the world's taste in cinema can be every bit as bad as our own, on another, much more visceral level, this press release has plunged us into the blackest depths of despair—we had no idea that Bruce Almighty was the previous record holder:

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away...fuck it. Here's the story: Star Wars fans are lined up in front of the Chinese Theatre in anticipation of the release of Revenge of the Sith on May 19th. The problem: As of now, the movie isn't scheduled to play at the Chinese; instead, the ArcLight will host it. This small logistical matter has become a topic of much debate on the Lining Up group's website—some propose moving the line, some want to keep it where it is for the purpose of staging a more visible spectacle in the heart of Hollywood, and some want to trot out the "cancer-ridden kids" (on whose behalf the Lining Up people are collecting charitable donations) to force distributor Fox or Lucas himself to show the movie at the beloved Chinese:

It seemed inevitable that Lindsay Lohan, ever on the vanguard of acting out behavior —the Fez-dating, the underage romps through New Orleans bars, the missed days of work due to "mystery flu"—would be an early adopter of the hottest new Hollywood trend in attention-getting: cutting. By the end of the week, everyone will be sporting band-aids. Hilary Duff's probably already at the Rite-Aid, picking up a jumbo box.

Even with the enforcers from Hollywood's New Gay Mafia nearby, Will Ferrell still couldn't avoid the open-mouthed humiliation of a promotional Shrek ogre bukkake photo op at the Nickolodeon Kids' Choice Awards.

After watching the three seasons' worth of first-time directors flail their way through disastrous low-budget films* on Project Greenlight, producer (and former partner of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon) Chris Moore decides that he's ready to get behind the camera himself for a remake of Race with the Devil:

· ABC anchor Peter Jennings announces that he has lung cancer, but will remain on the desk while he undergoes treatment. ABC News president David Westin reacts to the news by making perhaps the most inappropriate analogy in the history of broadcasting: "Peter's been given a tough assignment." [THR]
· Graham King, producer of The Aviator and Gangs of New York, signs first-look deal with Warner Brothers. Unfortunately, our primitive minds are too smooth to comprehend the domino-effect this move will have on King's Initial Entertainment Group and its relationships with various A-list actors' vanity production companies. [Variety]
· Sean Connery gets another crack at donning James Bond's tuxedo, as he'll do voiceover for the video game version of From Russia with Love. Come to think of it, it would be pretty pathetic if he actually wears the tuxedo to a voiceover session. Or if he gratuitously bares his chest hair for the sound engineers. [THR]
· Al Gore finally reveals his cable network, Current, which will feature "original public affairs and entertainment programming produced by and directed at young people" who have a thirst for boredom that not even CSPAN can quench. [Variety]
· After 10 years of our spectacularly successful efforts to avoid viewing even a single episode of the series, this season of JAG will be its last. Goodbye, old friend. [Variety]

The Associated Press, everyone's favorite daredevil wire service, attended Moby's W Hotel gig last night so you wouldn't have to: