Also, somewhat unrelated: if the Lonelygirl15 videos are going to continue, can she please stop overplucking the middle of her eyebrows? So much room for improvement there.

It may be from July, but we just saw this clever MySpace song and dance (beats the pants off MySpace Freak) for the first time. Revel in the MySpace metaphors in Gym Class Heroes' "New Friend Request."

So last night adult film auteur Tristan Taormino held a party to celebrate Chemistry, her "sexually experimental, uncensored Hi-Def first Vivid movie." Knowing your insatiable desire for hot girl-on-girl action, we sent a cameraman over to the event: the results are pretty much what you'd expect. This clip is in no way safe for work, although it's certainly less offensive than the Sean Delonas cartoons we've been posting lately. (Note: Tristan isn't featured in the clip, but she did tell us that she loves Gawker, which is pretty damn close to getting an endorsement from Thomas Pynchon, isn't it?) Get your cheap thrills after the jump.

Technorati, the leading weblog search engine, entered the video news "space" (ugh) today with the Technorati Daily Vlog. Sadly, it's all last week's news with a few blog URLs thrown in. Below is the video, but after that are six reasons you shouldn't bother watching.

Using the same principles of automatically assembling news media from various net sources, the experimental "News at Seven" in development at Northwestern University intends to do away with anchors, producers, editors, controllers, and every other carbon-based lifeform involved in broadcast news. Ignore the silly trappings of the clip above — like the Lara Croft-esque anchorwoman, who actually stops her narrative to kill a zombie, so cute — and focus instead on the newsgathering result. Images and video are pulled to illustrate the wire story at hand, complete with a cut to blog reaction. For some reason, the anonymous blogger copy is read by an old black guy in an alley, surrounded by armies of cloned suit-men passing by imperturbably. Oooookay. Sometimes the content selections really could have used a human touch, such as the lead for the story on Anna Nicole Smith's son's death, illustrated with Smith gleefully bouncing onstage during an awards show. Might not be ready to replace Brian Williams just yet, but there seems little material difference between this and, say, Rocketboom.

Conservative blogger Michelle Malkin (usually the target of our sister blog Wonkette) is pissed off that her video about Muslim terrorists and protesters got deleted for being "inappropriate." So she made another one, kind of implying that the managers of YouTube are "suicide-bomb-wearing terrorists or insurgent sympathizers."

Update: Because the children won't stop emailing, we'll note that the Chicano Caucus is claiming they had nothing to do with the events — i.e., the protest — that caused the event to be canceled. The Caucus does, however, take responsibility for being the chief organizers of the protest. Hm. Big difference there, kids.

Earlier: Elisabeth Hasselbeck Loses Her Shit

TMZ.com has unveiled the second installment of their de facto infomercial for the Screech sex tape, complete with a new clip from the video featuring Dustin Diamond's "co-stars." Luckily, their faces are pixelated, their voices digitally altered, and are only vaguely described as "from the heart of the Midwest and in their early 20's," which should at least temporarily forestall the unprecedented shame they will experience for accepting a gig that even the most emotionally ravaged porn star would refuse for the purpose of maintaining some elemental shred of dignity. (TMZ has also helpfully included celebrity smut-puddler David Hans Schmidt's entire promotional itinerary, so you'll know where you can next catch him hawking his wares.) As an alternative to the new preview footage, we offer this clip of SNL's Weekend Update coverage of the story, which while not all that funny, at least makes us feel less complicit in assisting Diamond's attempt to ride a Dirty Sanchez back to semi-fame. Isn't even a highly theoretical sex act sacred anymore?

Yesterday GMA was enlisted to do a little cross-promotion for ABC's The Bachelor: We're Not Even Sure if This Guy is Italian. Here's a pretty priceless moment between "Prince" Lorenzo Borghese and ethereal weatherstud Sam Champion. There's no awkwardness at all, so enjoy.

If you've ever wondered about what it might be like to work on a Michael Bay set, but feel that actually signing up to be an extra on one of his films is a risk to your emotional health that you're not willing to take (even if there's a self-esteem-repairing craft services therapist on call), we suggest you watch this video of the downtown Transformers shoot posted on The Jay.com. In just two-and-half minutes, it seems to offer a safe simulation of what a typical day of filming on any Bay production would be like: a lot of tense standing around near carefully demolished, smoldering vehicles while Bay screams through a megaphone, which eventually culminates in a couple of seconds of disappointing action.

CBS Turns Over News Broadcast To Man Who Blames School Shootings on Teaching Evolution and Abortion [ThinkProgress]
Fifth child dies of wounds from shootings at Amish school [USA Today]

Ode to cowardly love? No, it somehow becomes an accusation from the lips of Aaron Carter, leveled at his brother and former Backstreet Boy Nick, after one of the sorriest, most embarrassing, and apparently most ineffectual beatdowns ever (almost) captured on video. Damned closing door! Apparently there was something to that Aaron-Nick erotic torment over Paris Hilton, after all. Anyway, here's to a blatantly charming viral meant to build buzz for E!'s House of Carters by running footage with unbleeped profanity.

[via TVNewser]
Related: 'SNL' at 32: Cutting Edge Yields to Comfy Middle [WaPo]

Who can truly claim to know the ultimate origin of David Cross's hatred of Jim Belushi? Is it one comic's disdain for another's hackery? Does Cross feel it necessary to defend the deceased John Belushi's comedic legacy from his brother Jim's tomb raiding? Or is it just a specious vendetta created for the sake of awkward tragic theater? In any case, enjoy the above clip of Cross crashing the stage during a set by Jim Belushi's Blues Brothers rip-off band. Cross's nimble little douche-dance and gaping grin pretty much say it all.

It was inevitable after MySpace: The Movie, wasn't it? YouTube: The Movie isn't half as tightly scripted — okay, it's pretty much junk — but suck it up and watch, because this is the next YouTube-driven viral that everyone* is watching.

The highlight of yesterday's Congressional hearing over a sketchy Hewlett-Packard investigation came when Congressman Greg Walden asked HP ex-chair Patricia Dunn, if she didn't know investigators were lying to phone companies to get targets' phone records, how she thought they got them.