When Lou Reed performed last night at the Web 2.0 Summit dinner, it felt more like "All Tomorrow's Parties" than "No Money Down" — such a sign of excess that some vets recalled an Elvis Costello performance at an Ask.com party in the first dot-com boom.
You might not want to lose seven valuable minutes of your life watching this LX.TV (n e Code) interview with AMI Editorial Director/self-help guru Bonnie Fuller, but at least check out the first minute, where interviewer Suchin Pak basically asks how it feels to go from stunning success at Us Weekly to the shitshow that is Star. It's the ultimate, "Sorry I have to ask this" moment. If you feel like sticking it out, there's also a funny bit where Bonnie claims her readers care about Lebanon and are well-informed about world events. Well, sure, they probably all know where Namibia is now.
Knowing your fondness for footage of journalists in physical discomfort, we are happy to share this video of Olivia Cheng getting tasered (or "tased," as the kids are apparently calling it). This seems to have become something of a journalistic clich : You could probably spend the rest of the afternoon watching happy law enforcement types tasering reporters: We know we will.
Our previous post about a beehive outside MTV's Santa Monica headquarters, in which we voiced our concerns that the aggravated honeymakers might be a divine symbol meant to foreshadow the impending fires and brimstone to soon come hailing down upon our quaint, seaside community, was read by a Defamer operative, who was then instantly reminded of another such ominous foretelling at almost the exact same location—a power outtage at Lionsgate HQ next door, to be precise, which occurred on Halloween day. The video above, made by a Lionsgate employee during an investigation into the cause of the blackout and distributed to the entire company, reveals the horrifying and gruesome truth behind what happened that day. Watch it if you dare, and merely await the coming of the final sign—a pack of albino coyotes wandering in from the North Hollywood hills to wreak havoc on the Universal backlot—which shall mark the official beginning of the End of Hollywood Days.
In lieu of context, please accept this "Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!"
On today's Oprah (set your DVRs, West Coasters!), legendarily corpulent Scientologist Kirstie Alley, once so professionally hampered by her plus-size frame that she had no choice but to dedicate an entire Showtime series to her inability to get acting work, proudly displays a slimmed down figure made possible by the tireless work of a battalion of Jenny Craig's finest celebrity-starvation technicians. We have to admit that the bikini-clad body Alley shows off is a large improvement over the generously muu-muu'd form the public has known over the past few years, but we fear the transformation is ultimately futile, as the part of our cortex responsible for processing Alley-related visual stimuli was long ago scarred beyond repair by her fudgecicle-deepthroating pay-cable misadventures, preventing any new images of the Fat Actress from ever taking root in our brains.
This LifeStyles condom ad has been around the YouTube block, but it has a particular New York real-estate resonance — once you get past the unfeasibly gigantic apartment, of course. Requires audio to appreciate, but especially free of visual context, it's probably NSFW.
Bank of America merged with MBNA on January 1st, "[solidifiying] the Bank's position as the largest issuer of credit cards in the U.S... The combined Bank of America Card Services organization will have more than 40 million active U.S. accounts and nearly $140 billion in managed outstanding balances. Bank of America is already the world's leader in active debit cards." How are things going? If this clip is to be believed (and, on a lot of levels, you're not going to believe it), it's put a song in their cold banker hearts. Aleksey Vayner seems less and less ridiculous every day.
Above, enjoy one of the more staid events on the Spy revival/anniversary tour — more later this week! — courtesy of videographer Richard Blakeley and Intern Mary. A crowd of 30-something hipsters too young for Bob Dylan but too old for MTV crowded into the New York Public Library (NYPL, or "nipple") to hear former Spy magazine editors chat about everything from Hillary Clinton in bondage gear to the publishing business to pregnant Bruce Willis. "He didn't pose for that," Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter said when the Willis cover was projected. "That was me." Overall, the night was pretty tame, aside from Carter's out-of-control-classical-music-composer hair and the sexual tension between New York Times media columnist David Carr and everyone on stage, from the "powerful" Carter to the "mysterious" Kurt Andersen. George Kalogerakis somehow lurked in the background, as ever, despite being physically present in the foreground.
Stopping by Good Morning America this morning to support Bobby and to fulfill her biweekly quota of image-rehabilitating public appearances in which she assures the world that partying until 6 a.m. on a nightly basis has no deleterious effect on her work ethic, Lindsay Lohan claimed that she had never even seen the now-infamous letter from Morgan Creek head James G. Robinson informing the actress that all hangover-obscuring, exhaustion-related excuses for skipping work on Georgia Rule would no longer be tolerated, a missive read by roughly every living person in the entertainment industry within ten minutes of its publication on The Smoking Gun. We suppose it's possible that she never received it, as it was originally addressed to her temporary home at the Chateau Marmont, and not to a location where she spends the majority of her time. Accordingly, we'd suggest that any future employers needing to communicate urgent messages about unacceptable set absences have their letters delivered by hand to Lohan's favorite bathroom stall at Hyde, or to the emergency room at Cedars Sinai, the two places she'd most likely be found on days she misses her call times.
How to crash a bash:
The guys from Spy - the first magazine to ever be funny! - showed up on Today for a celebration of satire. It's a fairly dry interview, but we did love learning that the idea of one thing looking like another thing was invented at the Algonquin, and were particularly impressed by Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter (current cover subject: Brad Pitt) inveighing against "crazy celebrity culture." There's also a nice moment at the end of the bit that a cantankerous observer might view as evidence that Carter cannot get away from Kurt Andersen quickly enough.
