Grand Central station today was hijacked... by Westin ads! The hotel company covered S trains with pictures of rainforests, saunas and a coral reef. We sent Nick McGlynn down to survey the scenery and interrogate New Yorkers about their feeeeeeelings.

It appears that Michael Arrington is no longer devastated by the abrupt departure on Tuesday of Julia Allison, the New York-based TV commentator he'd begged to stay in town after she flew in for his TechCrunch9 party. The TechCrunch editor has found a new lust object: Morgan Webb, host of WebbAlert, yet another online tech-news show with a busty host in the vein of Rocketboom. After the jump, the hilarious homina-homina that the horny hetero slipped into his review.

Unfortunately for Miller and unknown to the crew, her IFB failed before she began speaking with Hunter. Another host might have known to alert the crew about the problem and delay the interview while the technical issues were worked out, but the inexperienced Miller gamely tried to speak with Hunter without hearing her responses.

This morning, Nicole Richie turned up on Good Morning America to chat with celebrity confessor Diane Sawyer about the new life growing in her womb and the old chemicals circulating in her bloodstream on the night of her DUI arrest, an obvious attempt to salvage her chances at landing future sidekick gigs alongside recently reformed, God-fearing pal Paris Hilton.

In her interview with Diane Sawyer that aired this morning on GMA, Nicole Richie ponders the truths of life. Glendale is confusing. Taking Vicodin and smoking pot before driving is a bad choice. But oh my God, she looks like a million bucks. Someone has finally hired a great crisis manager and a great crisis stylist!

If Kirk Cameron ever worried about being the child actor that time forgot, he needn't have: Thanks to those Internets the kids are raving about, Kirk will live in our hearts forever through parodies — here, The Bourne Again Ultimatum — that remind us forever what a nutjob he became. Oh, but if anyone finds his missing rapture ticket, please return it. That thing's non-refundable.

Never have I been more disappointed in an online video than this one pointed out to me by John Paczkowski of AllThingsD, in which Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley from fire-breathing, '70s glam-rock band KISS are asked what they think of the "connected life." No, they don't scream in the Cisco rep's ears and tell online viewers to "LICK UP MY BROADBAND!" Instead, Simmons and Stanley act like the most compliant of Federated Media spokesbloggers and muse about how everything on the Internet is now available to us, thanks to the Internet, and gosh darn it, why aren't computer screens bigger?

On Entertainment Tonight, Vanity Fairest of them all writer Nancy Jo Sales explained the appeal of "bad boys" like Kevin Federline, Joel Madden, and Cisco Adler to "starlets" like Britney Spears, Nicole Richie, and Mischa Barton. "Dating one of these girls seems to be a one-way ticket to insta-fame. There doesn't really seem to be a downside," Nancy says. Um, except maybe for the girls, who must contend with polluted wombs, ruined careers, and visions of elephantine nutsacks that will haunt them for the rest of their days.

Well, America, our long, sleepless nights of stress and nail-gobbling suspense are finally over: Baba Wawa has finally announced that "Oscar-winning actress and Broadway superstar" Whoopi Goldberg is permanently replacing Rosie on The View as its moderator, mysteriously leaving off her resume that grand televisual nugget Whoopi! . The news was greeted by a standing ovation from the audience, which is clearly relieved that Baba would apparently rather die before allowing Behar or Hasselbeck to run the show. Still, we give it three days before the Whoopster has Elisabeth in tears. It's just the natural way of things.

In June, our crack videographer/reporter Alex Goldberg happened upon one Whoopi Goldberg on the streets of Soho, waiting in line to buy an iPhone. He asked her about becoming the host of The View. And then look what happened today! We'll never believe anything else she says!

Apparently, the upcoming issue of Vanity Fair will feature a piece on that increasingly vital subset of the celebutard population, Guys Who Have Married, Impregnated, Or Serially Copulated With Women Who Possess More Wealth And/Or Fame Than They Do, an exposé on the hanger-on lifestyle (one which, in the words of writer Nancy Jo Sales, seems to have no downside) that will feature Kevin Federline, the guy from The Good Charlottes who knocked up Nicole Richie, and Cisco Adler, among others.

It must have been a slow news night for Access Hollywood, as this segment touting Discovery's popular Shark Week features nary a troubled actress being torn limb from limb by the ravenous predators. But you know what? Watching civilians fight for their lives has it own charms, and the network will probably have an all-celebrity shark attack special soon enough.

[UPDATE BELOW]What's up with the bubbly former host of Rocketboom, which was supposed to be the Internet's first huge news show before it leveled off? According to the London Times, Amanda Congdon's show for ABC News is "currently in the world's top 40,000 blogs," which puts it somewhere below great-soups-ive-eaten.blogspot.com. But Congdon has always been proud of her second career as a host for corporate stunt videos, and she recently starred in an American Express ad (shown below) shot in San Francisco. It's for a good cause, in a way: AmEx is giving away up to $5 million for a world-improving project to be selected by its customers. Metaphor-makers rejoice: The "cable car" carrying journotainer Amanda through the city in this video is a fake. Okay, okay, a "replica."

Times Square fixture the Naked Cowboy has
his own Justin.tv, which means if you can't get enough of his hilarious naked hijinks on the street, you can now watch him in a more domestic setting. To catch up those of you who have somehow missed the excitement thus far, Gawker splicey-tapey technician Alex Goldberg has assembled a montage of greatest hits.

This morning, "Good Morning America" anchor Robin Roberts announced on-air that she has breast cancer. It's a fairly affecting moment, and it also allowed us to forgive Joel Siegel for foisting Merry Miller on an unsuspecting public.

• Michael Bay: Power Director [YouTube]

This installment of our non-New York tour of New York finds Richard Blakeley in Harlem, where he meets a fly guy whose favorite color is red.

This weekend on CNN's "Reliable Sources"—one of television's only regular programs to examine how journalists do their jobs and how the media affect the stories they cover— took a look at the very important Lindsay Lohan DUI story. In a strident debate with Parade's Jeanne Wolf, Star Editor-at-Large Julia Allison insists that we're missing the real story: Lindsay Lohan is a reckless driver.