While we recognize that even though the above video is titled "Writers Strike Dance," it may not, in fact, be the work of a scribe who's using his free time during the work stoppage to pursue more kinetic creative endeavors, we nonetheless feel compelled to share it with you this morning. If nothing else, his unselfconscious gyrations can serve as an inspiration to othewise introverted writers walking the picket line to have the courage to spice up their already-stale sidewalk routines, bringing an energy level sure to intimidate any motorist with thoughts of adding a red-shirted hood ornament to his SUV.

· Weekend Update commentator Roger A. Trivanti offered some compelling rhetoric on behalf of his fellow producers, but none quite crystallized the dispute so much as his closing wishes that "all you writers get ass cancer and die."
· This seems fitting for the first day of the strike: Remember the Saddest Bear in Los Angeles, bike-chained to a chair outside a cookie store in the Glendale Galleria? Well, Metroblogging LA found his Sad Bear Soulmate in Hollywood. Sigh.
· We can only hope legions of idle writers don't pick up a nasty fermented-poo-huffing habit.
· But wait! All hope is not lost: The birth of an octobaby in India—possibly the living embodiment of Vishnu—has got to be a good sign, right?
· A palate cleanser: Extra employs cutting-edge aging software to add 25 years to Britney Spears's face. (We think the "after" picture is the one on the right.)

[I]t's clear that they've been studying the ad campaign for "300" very carefully. Among many stylistic and clear similarities between each films' trailers, here are a few highlights:

Tom Perkins, bazillionaire venture capitalist and owner of the Maltese Falcon, was interviewed on 60 Minutes last night. Humility is not his strong suit. Why build the biggest sailboat in the world? "I just wanted the biggest." I can relate. In his spare time, Perkins also fake blogs.

Last Wednesday, we momentarily paused from the unrelenting gloom of our StrikeWatching activities to sneak in a smile at the goat-despoiling adventures promised by an ad for Kill Buljo, a Norwegian import in which a katana-wielding, Boratesque protagonist embarks on a Kill Bill-inspired quest for revenge upon the fiends who slaughtered his family. Today, we again briefly pause from our unhealthy immersion in the ongoing labor strife to share the film's dubbed, English-language trailer; while we were disappointed there's no cameo by the cloven-hoofed object of Buljo's affections, it does feature a poignant reaction shot of a startled cow (and a mysterious flash of a pelvic thrust), happily suggesting that our hero's appetite for ruminant-buggery might extend to comely members of the bovine family.

Why, asks CNBC, did Barry Diller split up his mega-internets corporation into five different ones? The answer: Apparently Frank Gehry's IAC headquarters can't support all that weight or something? Spin, Barry, spin! Actually it's kind of awesome that he doesn't feel the need to bother with talking points. THAT is what being rich is all about.

The image of the male conjurer has always been steeped so heavily in an aura of lady-loving machismo—from David Copperfield's babe-netting trapdoor audience seating to the Pam-Anderson-bazoom-levitating prestidigitation of Hans Klok—that when J.K. Rowling revealed Prof. Albus Dumbledore to enjoy the, ahem, company of other wizards, even those of us with the most finely attuned Gay-Wizardar failed to see it coming.

Scott Adams, the cartoonist behind Dilbert, has discovered the proper use for Second Life. During a "virtual booksigning," which seems to defeat the purpose, Adams invited fans to kick him in his virtual crotch, which is what passive-aggressive Second Lifers want to do to famous people anyway. I'm so glad Al Gore invented the Internet. This is going to change everything. Catch the video after the jump.

IAC chairman Barry Diller, a.k.a. Mr. Diane von Furstenberg, was on CNBC's Power Lunch show today, talking about his decision to break up the company into itty bitty pieces. Asked why, after years of talking up the benefits of keeping disparate Internet properties together, Diller changed direction, the media mogul dodged several times before stammering his way to an answer. "Well, as I said, having everything under one roof is good until the roof may collapse because of the, so to speak, weight growing up underneath." Come again? Diller's media training kicks in at this point, as he realizes his error. "How's that for an awkward thing?"

Dan Lyons, the faux Apple CEO blogger, is introduced by the real Steve Wozniak. Check Woz's manic but funny patter about Kathy Griffin, Fake Steve, and Apple.

Yes, but can it handle pre-epochal timestamps? Didn't think so.

A commenter on our earlier post about David Letterman's writers strike segment on last night's episode of The Late Show recommended that we go back to check out Jon Stewart's comments on the same topic on The Daily Show (the program we're going to miss most of all), in which he let viewers know that they could watch reruns during any strike-related hiatus for free on their fancy new website, a gift made possible by the generosity of advertisers unafraid to throw their money away on a medium likely never to generate enough profits to share with the employees who come up with all those "words" he's fond of reading. We followed the reader's helpful advice and found the clip. Enjoy.

As nearly every article we've read to date on the possible impact of the writers strike has pointed out, the first victims of the walkout will be late-night talk shows; without the script lead-times enjoyed by sitcom and drama productions, their hosts will immediately be pushed in front of the cameras without material produced by their absentee writing staffs, forced to read from cue cards offering no more detailed commentary on the day's events than [NEXT THREE MINUTES: RIFF UNCOMFORTABLY ON HOW YOU HAVE NO ONE TO WRITE JOKES ABOUT WHATEVER IT WAS THAT BRITNEY SPEARS/GEORGE BUSH/HILLARY CLINTON DID TODAY.]

We trust by now you've fully recovered from your Wednesday night Halloween activities—or, in certain cases, have yet to come down from what has quickly evolved into a three-day bender, your keys, wallet, and memory long gone and the last remaining threads of your Zombie Britney costume the only things covering your essential regions as you pound the hard streets in search of another hit of stale candy corn. Whatever the case, we think you'll thoroughly enjoy this music video of the WeHo Carnaval, compiled by crack Defamer videologist Molly McAleer.

During one of the surprise quality-control checks Paris Hilton conducts at all retail outlets stocking highly successful adult-video brand-extension One Night in Paris, the heiress became enraged when she discovered that a Toronto porn emporium had completely ignored her meticulously crafted guidelines for the proper promotion and display of her blockbuster product.

· On second thought, maybe a strike won't be that bad. Who wouldn't like to see the cast of Cavemen singing "Wooly Booly"?
· And speaking of cavemen, here are instructions on how to make your own insurance-hawking Neanderthal costume, just in time for the day after Halloween.
· Get ready for a world-rocking nerdgasm: The original cast of MST3K is reuniting for Cinematic Titanic, a new project that will involve the creative savaging of bad movies.
·RIP, NBC's DotComedy.
· Owen Wilson can't even pee with the stall door open anymore without his publicist having to make a statement.