We can't say we were surprised that Dr. Jan Adams, the tele-friendly plastic surgeon who performed twin procedures on Donda West the night before she died, would grant his first interview to bony-shouldered broadcast legend Larry King. Wriggling free from the CNN interviewer's trademark softballs and tenuous grasp of the facts on any subject plopped before him, after all, is a damage-control rite of passage for celebrities who suddenly find them tumbling down shit-filled rapids without a life-vest or paddle.

Once alerted that there would be delicious scones (courtesy of the generous cater-agents of CAA) at yesterday's WGA Solidarity March on Hollywood Blvd., there was no way to keep Defamer videographer/sweet-toothed pastry-junkie Molly McAleer from rushing to the scene of the 4,000-protestor strong rally. And while she mercifully kept the throng's snacking activities off-camera (nobody wants to watch video of writers eating—anyone who's seen a sitcom staff attack the craft services table during a runthrough knows what we're talking about), she did entice a number of Guild picketers to share their favorite strike anthems, all of which exhibited a lyrical complexity that eclipsed the work of featured performer Alicia Keys.

Notoriously media-shy internet person Matt Drudge flew over to England to appear on News Corp's SkyNews (sans hat!). And in a rare TV interview, he slobbered all over Rupert Murdoch's newspapers and talked about how his unchanged-since-1997 news clearinghouse is the future of information dispersal. The interviewer did ask him an unexpected question about just who shares Matt's bed, but he declined to answer.

The Man Behind the Drudge Report Revaled [SkyNews via Soup Cans]

You bastard stagehands! You're making little kids sad with your selfish demands! These precocious youngsters are forced to sing on streetcorners, as seen in this NY1 story featuring interviews with the sad children, the producer of Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas! The Musical, and B-roll footage of some lazy stagehands smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee and slowly walking in a circle. There was also a clip run incessantly yesterday of one of the child actors weeping, as not making kids sad seems to be the primary argument for keeping The Grinch open during this terrible strike. Producers filled a courtroom with wide-eyed Dickensian Whorphans Jimmy Stewart-style yesterday as they attempted to keep their limited-engagement public shitting on a universally-beloved children's book classic alive. We are thankful for labor disputes that put expensive ends to terrible, childhood-raping cash-ins.

Producers Of "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" Ask Judge To Reopen Show [NY1]
Will 'The Grinch' Escape a Strike? Ask the Judge [NYT]

The picketers (and, we suspect, pretty much everyone else who works in Hollywood) are off for the day and en route to wherever they're celebrating Thanksgiving, but we've still got enough links for one last pre-holiday round-up:

· The studios once again take a shot at getting their side of the ongoing contract dispute onto the YouTubes, this time wisely choosing a more persuasive messenger than Leave the AMPTP Alone Guy.
· Bill Nye the Science Guy vs. His Fake, Gardening-Poisoning Wife.
· The paparazzi are failing to show proper respect for the pregnant Christina Aguilera's baby-making parts.
· Report: Britney Spears devirginized at 14—and not by Justin Timberlake. Your world has officially been rocked.

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Stripped of her staff of writers, The Ellen DeGeneres Show manages to keep things lively using segments that require no words at all: Just the eagle eyes of an audience-scanning producer who can pick out nobodies who look like somebodies, and within seconds paste together a side-by-side guaranteed to have everyone else rolling in the aisles. (Come to think of it, that kind of sounds like our job description.) It's all good fun, until a red-faced P.A. was forced to point out that the Tom Bosley look-alike was in fact Tom Bosley, who's taken to filling the long, unoccupied afternoons with Burbank talk show tapings.

Amazon.com CEO and firestarter Jeff Bezos sat down to Charlie Rose's table last night. There, Bezos predicted Amazon's new e-reader Kindle will in the near future lead to new forms of art — like serial novels! — and render books made from "dead trees" as relics for "cabinets of curiosity." Bezos also gets in a characteristic maniacal laugh or two. Rose impersonates a tree.

Hollywood writers are striking because studios will not give them residuals from content distributed over the Internet or through DVDs. Or are they? One of the first films already effected by the strike is Ron Howard's adaptation of Dan Brown's Angels & Demons, the sequel prequel to The Da Vinci Code. Could the Illuminati, the secret society exposed in Brown's book, be behind the strike? Could I, a blogger, possibly find a cheesier way to get you to find out more?

In an unprecedented move that threatens to undermine the sacred premise of future installments of ABC's blockbuster TV-matchmaking franchise The Bachelor, America's heart was cleaved in twain as Brad Womack (billed repeatedly as The Sexiest Bachelor Yet!) refused to pretend that he'd fallen for any of this season's desperate-for-companionship contestants and offer one of the show's trademark, temporary-commitment-affirming engagement rings to either finalist, walking away from the the series finale as a single man.

If that were Spears's only legal problems—Louis Vuitton has just won a case against Sony BMG and MTV Online in Paris civil court, ordering them to "stop broadcasting or marketing the video for 'Do Something' in any form and fined them 80,000 euros ($117,000) apiece" for using the luxury goods manufacturer's "Cherry Blossoms" signature pattern on the dashboard of the pink Hummer she drives through the clouds in the video from a single off her 2004 greatest hits compilation. Some "Do Something" Video Fun Facts: It was the singer's directorial debut, credited under the pseudonym "Mona Lisa," and #6 on AOL's The Worst Music Videos Ever!, a list obviously compiled long before "Gimme More"'s video envisioned the singer's lackadaisical run-in with a pole coated in a generous amount of Turtle Wax-brand Stripper Butter.

Surprise, Heidi! Spencer totally packed your bags for you and booked the honeymoon suite in Vegas! Aren't you beyond psyched! Well, no. "This is about me, too ... this isn't Spencer's relationship." she told him, before saying that they should "think about [the wedding] longer." Then some sad music played! You know what that means: be sad.

This morning, Atlanta internet-dater John Fitzgerald Page added another item to his impressive resume: he has now appeared on CBS's Early Show! Julie Chen looked on in horror from her side of the split-screen as John revealed that he still doesn't understand why that girl turned him down on Match.com. "Basically, if you hit on somebody on Match.com and you find them attractive, and then you find out that they have a good job with a good company and they live in a good part of town in a nice area and they take care of themselves ... that's not the time you'd reject them, I'd think," he retarditerates. "Every blog in the country" has covered him, he complained. Also, "people I've gotten roles have taken me off their 'friends' page." Ouch! But: "I know who I am and I'm just going to keep living my life and enjoying myself."

In a rare televised coming together of three of the most powerful stars on the planet, Tom Hanks and a back-from-the-child-rearing-abyss Julia Roberts appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show today to promote Charlie Wilson's War, the first of what is sure to be many vigorous lap dances performed by the pair for an always A-list-horny Oscar.

But before any of O'Donnell's many detractors announce their deep satisfaction at watching the feathered national symbol taking several hungry chunks out of the outspoken Iraq War critic's face, we'd first like to remind them that no one got off more from the sequence than Rosie herself, for whom the near-fatal eagle-pecking was just the manifestation of a lifelong fantasy that began the time a nine-year-old Rosie spent the night trapped beneath the covers with a family of frantic pigeons, armed only with their tiny beaks and a desperate will to survive.

David Letterman, Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien could be back on TV before Hollywood writers end their strike, Variety reports. Writers are striking over how much they should be compensated for content distributed over the Internet and on DVDs, but producers for the three late night shows are in secret talks to bring back their own scribes before the strike ends. That could be a serious blow to the writers' cause. So far, late-night reruns are the only sign for most television viewers that anything's going on at all. Producers won't run out of sitcom and drama scripts until January.

Last night's episode of VH1's America's Next Most Smartest Model—easily the most damning basic cable exposé on the insufficient intellects of the mannequin class since E!'s 101 Best 'I Can't Believe That Pretty Dummy Just Said That Stupid Thing!' Fashion Show Moments—asked the age-old question: how shitfaced is too shitfaced to network in a bar stocked with people from the industry who can potentially help one achieve his or her dreams of stardom?