clips

Spears Family Incensed That Dr. Phil Accepted Their Idiotic Invitation To Ambush Britney

Seth Abramovitch · 01/09/08 12:25PM


While our proprietary, patent-pending VirtuaPhil™ technology allowed you to experience what a showdown between the KingWorld tough-love swami and a Britney Spears well-past the verge of a nervous breakdown might have looked like, the actual footage from their historic meeting will never air. (Save, perhaps, for repeated 4 a.m. screenings on a rickety Super-8 projector in the doctor's home library, popping cashews into his mouth as he obsessively relives every moment of the intervention that got away.) Now the Spears family, whose only means of dealing with a situation involves relaying their problems to the nearest national media outlet, is on the attack, with frayed matriarch Lynne Spears and fecund tween daughter Jamie Lynn having dispatched a representative to The Today Show to insist they had never authorized a Britney-themed Dr. Phil episode.

A Gay Liberal New York Jew Rests Easy

Pareene · 01/09/08 11:12AM

Videographer Alex Goldberg's roommate-harassing (in the name of science!) continues. Last week, we watched Alex's poor roommate respond with violent gay rage to Mike Huckabee's Iowa win. But in New Hampshire, Huckabee vied for third with the rest of the losers (except for losers John McCain and Mitt Romney, who came in first and second, respectively), and everyone's favorite roommate slept like a child awaiting Santa. Except Jewish. [Previously]

The funniest fake YouTube user

Nick Douglas · 01/09/08 09:34AM

Meet one of the few YouTube performers who deserves a TV show. "Daxflame" plays a spastic grade-schooler named Bernice Juach, who tells stories about his life (such as when he bought a car on eBay with his mom's credit car and failed to convince her he thought it was a Hot Wheel). My source at YouTube says he's an actor, though the only press he's gotten stresses that no one knows if he's real. And that's why the kid (who's also appeared with the mediocre but dominant YouTube comedy group Smosh) is so good. Below he shares his plan to save the world and shares five facts about himself (1. He wants to be stuffed when he dies).

Letterman Shaved, Sloppily

mark · 01/08/08 09:15PM



· Click the above image for our video recap of last night's various acts of talk-show-host facial hair removal, in which a unibrow is plucked, a Moses-beard shredded, and a drifter-thicket shaved. At least Conan still seems committed to resisting the siren call of his razor until his writers return.
· The Carpetbagger finds the Golden Globes credentialing desk to be the loneliest place in the world.
· In this case at least, The Spy Who Licked Me doesn't refer to some kind of pornographic reimagining of 007's adventures in Her Majesty's sexy service.
· Somehow, we forgot that it's Zahara's birthday. The middle children always get lost in the shuffle.

Jason Calacanis has "all the money"

Jordan Golson · 01/08/08 08:34PM


After warning me that he was coming to the CES Press Room and to "stay out of his face," blog blowhard Jason Calacanis stormed over to me to "introduce" himself and slam my boss and brag about how much money he has. Money can't buy you a snappy comeback, however.

Rachael Ray Shares Formative, Psyche-Scarring Moment With A Scandalized America

Seth Abramovitch · 01/08/08 07:44PM


And here we thought The Martha Stewart Show was the only place to tune for a slice of darkly awkward pie: Dirty Jobs host Mike Rowe popped by The Rachael Ray Show today to discuss the always-appetizing topic of roadkill removal. It was clearly a sensitive subject for the home-cooking guru, who soon admitted to a past littered with vehicular critterslaughter. Nothing, however, could have prepared the audience for the conscience-clearing admission that was to come, a tale so shocking it was immediately met with an audible gasp from the studio audience, followed by a sneaking suspicion that the secret ingredient in her signature Meaty Mac n' Cheese might not be "lean ground beef" as the recipe officially calls for. The chilling confession after the jump.

Blue Man Coup

Richard Lawson · 01/08/08 03:55PM


That crazy old coot who turned himself blue a while back was on the Today show yesterday. He's pretty crazy. And pretty blue.

Letterman Shaves Strike Beard!

Pareene · 01/08/08 01:02PM

On the same night that Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert returned to their shows sans writers, David Letterman, one of two late night hosts with his writing staff, finally shaved off his strike beard. With the help of a barber and a straight razor, Letterman returned from the commercial break with a smooth (if slightly bloodied) face. Also: Letterman guest Mike Huckabee, who graced Leno's first scabby show back from strike hiatus, got the coveted 12:30 a.m. segment, usually reserved for the return from the commercial break after the band plays in order to say goodnight and run credits. Burn?

Stewart, Colbert Go Back To Work Unibrowed, Biblically Bearded, And Without Writers

mark · 01/08/08 12:10PM

While Stewart lamented his program's inability to get the kind of side-deal the WGA made with Worldwide Pants (the Guild, it seems, isn't really embracing the idea of giving corporate monolith Viacom a break), he still dedicated most of the show to the strike; in the above segment—one probably not as improvised as the WGA would like, but given the pro-cause subject matter, the union probably won't be sending anyone over to Stewart's office to have a testy sit-down about strike rules—the host details the dispute over internet compensation, explaining how the $1.99 fees charged for iTunes downloads of his show are purely a shipping and handling charge, the proposed "Shut The Fuck Up" formula for new-media residuals, and how the viewing of written content on iPods clearly falls under the "Hickory Farms promotional cheese" principle.

Bill O'Reilly Has "No Choice But To Uphold the Constitution" By Being A Dick

Joshua David Stein · 01/08/08 12:49AM

Tremendous Fox simpleton Bill O'Reilly was recently in New Hampshire, using little girls as human shields to lob incendiary questions at Hillary Clinton and later, at an event with Barack Obama where the host of "The Factor" was on the wrong side of the velvet rope. There was a man standing in front of his shot, blocking sight of Barack Obama. This Bill O'Reilly could not brook. Though he's already tried to spin it in the No Spin zone, on his own show tonight, he gleefully replayed the incident like a soldier freshly back from the front lines describing acts of uncommon bravery.We agree that the dude standing in front of the O'Reilly's camera is, in some ways, a dick for doing that. True, O'Reilly and crew did travel all the way to New Hampshire for the shot. On the other hand, O'Reilly's express aim is to weaken the Democratic party for whom Barack Obama is the vanguard figurehead. O'Reilly's arsenal isn't all that clean either, from planting that little girl at the Clinton Q&A to his blatant distortion Orwellian of facts on his show. We (I, Joshua David Stein) have no problem with using whatever dirty tricks one can to cockblock O'Reilly. It's just that in this instance it was done so ungracefully.

Viral Burger King ads inspire parodies again; edgy marketers rejoice

Nick Douglas · 01/07/08 10:13PM

Took me half a minute to realize this wasn't a legit Burger King ad. "Whopper Freakout, Ghetto Version" parodies the chain's "viral" ads, wherein they pulled the Whopper at one location for a day and taped people's reactions. In the version below, one customer says, "I hear you motherfuckers put worms in your burgers; I dunno if that's true but that shit is good." Chances are that's not the message Burger King wants spread, but some smartass in marketing must be high-fiving himself. Burger King has played with ironic advertising (the scary ads with The King, for example, and the classic subservient chicken microsite) enough to expect and appreciate this kind of parody. That sets them apart from General Motors, whose make-your-own-ad program inspired people to mock the gas-guzzling Chevy Tahoe. Amateurish, easily parodied virals are only for brands that can tolerate someone spitting in their burger.

Merciful Hulk Hogan Spares Life Of Hobbled Contestant On 'American Gladiator' Premiere

mark · 01/07/08 06:30PM



Decked out head-to-toe in the official, patriotically colored, star-spangled spandex unitard (with, of course, the optional "Milita's Howitzer" crotch-pad) and clutching the bludgeon-at-home Joust cudgel we'd purchased from NBC's online store months ago in anticipation of the network's relaunch of American Gladiators, we took in every last minute of last night's two-hour premiere in gape-mouthed awe. Imagine our delight, then, that it took merely a handful of minutes for the ravenous new Arena to gobble up its first contestant: the plucky Jessie, who was hobbled by Stealth's knee-decimating Power Ball hit (click the thumbnail to watch the shocking—just shocking!—footage).

Littlest Hasselbeck Makes 'View' Debut

Pareene · 01/07/08 05:14PM

The crazy one's back on The View! Elisabeth Hasselbeck returned from her brief maternity leave, dragging her little half-quarterback baby onto the show with her. The ladies did an entire hour of "HOT TOPICS," also known as the "wait for Sherri and Liz to say something jaw-droppingly stupid" segment, just so that Hasselbeck would have an opportunity to say something stupid about Iraq. The baby, like most View guest hosts, just looked terrified.

'The Simpsons' announces the death of print

Pareene · 01/07/08 04:27PM

Did you watch The Simpsons last night? Probably not, no one really does anymore! But no one really reads newspapers anymore either. Above, Nelson pwns an industry.

Defamer Exclusive: Carson Daly Admits That Life Without His Writers Is Just As Unhappy As You'd Expect

mark · 01/07/08 04:20PM



While on the ground in Vegas with the Gizmodo crew at the 2008 CES, in-house, camcorder-brandishing Gawker Media troublemaker Richard Blakeley unexpectedly found himself face-to-face with embattled™ Last Call host Carson Daly, the late-night canary NBC sent down its talk-show coal mine long before it dared to force his better-leveraged peers Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien back in front of the cameras.

Being elderly on the Internet equals instant success

Nick Douglas · 01/07/08 04:16PM

Thanks to the web, you can now condescend to the elderly from the comfort of your own home. The novelty factor of seeing this demographic in a video online has apparently not faded, as they continue to earn instant viewers just by looking their age. Ironically, the videos are mostly superior to teenage-made crap because of their PBS feel and extensive vocab. Here's a quick gallery of the best elderly video-makers; they got attention just for showing up, but they outperformed expectations.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck's Newborn Most Inarticulate 'View' Guest Host Since Merry Miller

Seth Abramovitch · 01/07/08 03:45PM


Positively glowing and sporting a matching set of milk-engorged bosoms, Elisabeth Hasselbeck made her much-hooplah'd return to The View today with new baby Taylor Thomas in tow, the adorable newborn hoisting a tiny I Heart Huckabee placard that owed a major debt to the infant campaigning techniques trailblazed by The Incredible Picketing Baby. While a cautious Joy Behar noted that perhaps the hot lights, a studio audience, and the Viewmaster piping instruction into the baby's earpiece to "coo a segue into Hot Topics" might have all been a little overwhelming for a seven-week-old, a positively gushy Sherri Shepherd couldn't get enough of the new addition to their lineup, insisting Elisabeth fill her in on every last detail about the birth, including the name of her stork delivery service.