Two weeks ago, Page Six reported that lit agent Luke Janklow and his wife, Julie, the founder of the restaurant Sweetiepie in the West Village, were splitting up. "Real estate brokers are already eyeing the couple's magnificent townhouse nearby," the column quipped. It looks like Paula Del Nunzio of Brown Harris Stevens ended up winning the beauty contest. Today she posted the listing for 16 West 12th Street, which the Janklows bought for $4.5 million in 2004 from another divorcing couple, hotelier Andre Balazs and Ford Models CEO Katie Ford. The home is now on the market for $24.975 million; you can take a look around the stunning townhouse after the jump.

• Olivier Theyskens is, in fact, parting ways with Nina Ricci. [Grazia, FWD]
• The couture shows in Paris began today and they're as over-the-top as ever. [NYM]
• Brioni just launched a line of suits that cost as much as $43,000 apiece. "The timing was not fortunate for us," says Brioni's CEO. Go figure. [WSJ]
• Tom Ford has introduced a line of men's jeans that retail for $990. They're the same jeans that Ford wears, and the button is plated with 18-karat gold, though, so it's totally worth it. [WWD]
• Vivienne Westwood's ads featuring Pam Anderson have debuted. [Pipeline]
• Hartmarx, Barack Obama's "favorite tailor," has gone bust. [WWD]
• Saks fashion director Michael Fink has left the company. [NYM]
• What do retail employees do during a recession? Try to look busy. [NYT]

Why did former Merrill Lynch CEO John Thain spend $1.2 million renovating his office when he took from Stan O'Neal at the firm? It was because O'Neal's office was "very different," and it would have been "very difficult" to use it in the "form that is was in." We're not sure what that means either. A clip from Thain's awkward chat with CNBC's Maria Bartiromo earlier today appears after the jump.

Real estate mogul and Daily News publisher Mort Zuckerman had a rep as quite the ladies' man when he was younger. His conquests over the years have included Nora Ephron, Diane von Furstenberg, Gloria Steinem, Arianna Huffington, and Patricia Duff. (And just because he's 71 doesn't mean he's slowing down any; he welcomed a daughter into the world in late December, although he didn't disclose who the mother is.) But it's safe to say that his many paramours haven't been drawn to him for his sense of style. Click here for a look back at a few of Zuckerman's most unfortunate fashion moments over the past three decades.

• Armin Amiri's Socialista is closing for good, and Giuseppe Cipriani, of course, is partly to blame. [Page Six]
• Everything you missed at yesterday's porkfest, Cochon 555. [Eater, TFB]
• Masa Matsushita has returned to Matsugen for the next three months. [JGV]
• Tim Zagat chats with the Post about Restaurant Week. [NYP]
• Adam Platt gives two stars apiece to 10 Downing and West Branch. [NYM]
• Wass Stevens has landed himself a role in a BlackBerry commercial. [GS]
• More bad news for chef Gordon Ramsay: His empire is supposedly "crumbling," and he's also been banned from Mario Batali's restaurants for calling him "fanta pants." [NYP, Guardian]

Add Gov. David Paterson to the list of people skipping the World Economic Forum in Davos. Paterson, who said he planned to attend the mogulfest to drum up business for the state, and who reiterated just yesterday that he planned to go ahead with the trip, changed course today: "Perhaps it would be a better idea to go at another time, send a couple of assistants and stay right here with the leaders of the Legislature and work on the budget," he told reporters. Good call. Frankly, the idea of the New York's famously indecisive, blind governor zooming down the slopes had us a bit concerned anyway. [NYP]

Obsessive parents no longer have to worry about sending their kids to an expensive private school where, despite the hefty tuition, they still don't get to handpick every teacher and student their child comes into contact with, personally select the school uniform, or dictate the lunch menu in the cafeteria. They can now homeschool their little ones—and they don't even have to join a religious cult in Montana to do it! Melissa Meyer and Teri Flemal are the founders of QED (or "Quality Education by Design). For $30,000 a year, they'll dispatch teachers to your house so your kids will never be forced to leave the safe cocoon of your $20 million home and risk catching a cold from some kid whose parents weren't considerate enough to bathe their youngster in anti-bacterial body wash. Plus, if you suddenly decide you want to, say, schedule a last minute field trip to the Louvre in Paris, Melissa and Teri will be more than happy to accommodate your request.

Don't be surprised if you see Padma Lakshmi sporting some mouth-watering jewelry on upcoming episodes of Top Chef. The TV hostess and cookbook author is planning to launch a line of necklaces and rings based on various cooking ingredients: "It's inspired by things like seeds and pods, like cardamom, lentils and cloves." Yum? The collection, which Padma has very creatively named "Padma," will debut at Bergdorf Goodman in May. [WWD]

When we first broke the news last month that Citigroup was selling off two of its jets, we thought the bank was looking to cut costs as it spiraled towards bankruptcy. Apparently not! The Post reported this morning that the bank is plunking down $50 million on a brand-new Dassault Falcon 7X. The decision to purchase the plane was reportedly made two years ago, although Citi still intends to take possession of it—assuming, that is, politicians in Washington don't come up with a way to scuttle the deal. (Senator Carl Levin said this afternoon that he plans to lobby the Treasury Department to "stop this absurdity from occurring.") The good news is that if the sale does go through, when Pandit is eventually fired and Citigroup is nationalized, we'll all be entitled to free trips, right?

LES Hotel Saturation: A Map [Bowery Boogie]

• Martha Stewart has sold a third of her shares in her eponymous media company. But she's still as anal as ever around the office. [NYP, Gawker]
• Bill Kristol's New York Times column has come to an end. [NYT]
• Fashion and beauty magazines will see a 22 percent decline in advertising pages during the first three months of the year. [WWD]
• Doubledown Media, the publisher of Trader, is reportedly up for sale. [NYP]
• Conde Nast is reorganizing its web division. [MW]
• Moody's has downgraded New York Times Co. debt to junk status. [NYP]
• A long Q&A between Lesley Stahl and Rachel Maddow. [Wow]
• Sundance ended yesterday without a big sale. [NYT]
• Once again, Paul Blart: Mall Cop was No. 1 at the box office. [THR]

Just because Marisa Noel Brown's father and husband have been thoroughly disgraced in recent weeks doesn't mean she has any intention of stepping away from the social circuit. Brown is co-hosting Junior Collector's Night at Doubles this Thursday and tickets are still available. Just be prepared to run for the exit if she takes you aside to tell you about a fantastic investment opportunity she's heard about. [GoaG]

Remember the good old days when you used to be able to pick up some ephedrine-containing medicine right off the drugstore shelf any time you needed a remedy for the sniffles, a cheap appetite suppressant, or a light stimulant? Then the crystal meth epidemic came along, and stores instituted limits on the number of boxes of Sudafed you could purchase, a move that supposedly helped curb distribution of the drug. Well, the meth bakers have prevailed: Teams of "smurfers" simply travel to different stores and buy up the meds, and the drug is once again "proliferating," say police. So if you're job hunting, you may want to add "smurfing" to the list. No, it's not quite as prestigious as law or banking. But at least you won't be stuck in a cubicle all day, right? [ABC News]

• A group of teens who supposedly lost their trust funds to Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme have taken responsibility for covering his Palm Beach estate with toilet paper this weekend. [Palm Beach Post]
• More on what Bernie's sons may (or may not have) known about their dad's scheme. [WSJ]
• What motivated Madoff to carry out his nefarious plot? According to a former FBI profiler, he has all the characteristics of a psychopathic serial killer. [NYT]
• More on the man charged with defending Madoff, Ira Sorkin. [Crain's]

You know what sucks? When you pay $18 million for a co-op apartment and only find out after you've moved in that there are protests outside the building every weekend because one of your neighbors happens to design fur coats. The Times reports that an animal rights group has been congregating outside the Beresford since October to protest fur-happy designer Dennis Basso. The noisy gatherings haven't been appreciated by the building's residents (who include the likes of Glenn Close, Jerry Seinfeld, and Bob Weinstein). As for the most recent Beresford arrival, Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit, at least he can take some comfort in the fact it isn't outraged Citigroup shareholders or any of the 50,000 people who've been laid off by the bank in recent weeks who are responsible for ruining his Saturday and Sunday mornings. [NYT]

The World Economic Forum kicks off tomorrow in Davos, Switzerland, but it won't be nearly as exciting as in years past: The financial crisis has led many CEOs and politicians to abandon plans to attend the conference of heavy-hitters. Goldman Sachs chief Lloyd Blankfein won't be there, although he's reportedly sending "his deputy." Former Lehman CEO Dick Fuld won't be there, of course. Nor will John Thain, who, rather ironically, was scheduled to participate on a panel entitled "The Bank of the Future." And while Citigroup is still sending five executives, the bank's chief, Vikram Pandit, isn't one of them. (Citi isn't sending a "support staff" this year either, which means the execs who do make the trip may be forced to carry their own briefcases and fill up their own glasses of water.) Worst of all? There won't be too many celebs on hand to divert attention away from the depressing, gloomy discussions of economic doom.

It turns out that a nefarious conspiracy between genetics, sloth, and the irresistibility of deep-fried carbs may not be to blame for people's flab after all. Scientists in Louisiana have studied a common cold virus, Adenovirus-36, and found that obese individuals are nearly three times as likely to have it. "When this virus goes to the fat tissue," explains Dr. Nikhil Dhurandhar, "it replicates making more copies of itself and in the process increases the number of fat cells."

Not only is John Thain out of a job, he's $1.2 million poorer, too. The former Merrill Lynch CEO has agreed to reimburse the company for the extensive renovations to his office suite, which included the purchase of a $87,000 area rug and $35,000 toilet. In his own defense, though, he'd like to point out that the renovations didn't only involve his own office: two conference rooms and a reception area were spiffied up, too. [Dealbook]

How fabulous for Lipstick Jungle: It's all over the news for a reason other than its disappointing ratings and impending death, namely that it's been a victim of a heinous crime. Stage manager Arthur Moreira, perhaps hoping to put some money aside in expectation of losing his job, filched a bunch of clothes and accessories worth $29,555 from the show's wardrobe and put them on Ebay. His cunning plan was foiled when agents for Sylvia Toledano, the designer of one of those hideous Swarovski crystal-adorned minaudieres, saw the purse for sale online. Moreira was arrested on Friday in a "sting operation," and has been charged with 13 counts of grand larceny, criminal possession of stolen property, and petty larceny. If only Lipstick's plotlines had been half as interesting!