Many thanks to AdWeek's AdFreak blog for directing our attention to this new advertising campaign for Face to Face NYC, a day spa on West 20th Street. This ad here is one of a handful the company is now running in publications like HX, Genre, and Time Out New York. Face to Face describes the campaign as "raunchy, yet classy." (By the same logic, anal bleaching may be "all the rage," or just really popular with muscular "knot experts" named Sandor—you decide.) But you do have to give the spa some credit for not, er, beating around the bush. [AdFreak]

• A day after the city asked for bids on the Tavern on the Green space comes word the restaurant's been sued for failing to pay its meat supplier. [Eater]
• Soho's much-maligned Delicatessen has a new menu courtesy of its new consultants, club owner David Rabin and chef Franklin Becker. [GS]
• Embattled Soho eatery Lola shutdown last Friday. [NYO]
• Joe Bastianich is hoping to plant Eataly, a 60,000-square-foot Italian food market, in a space "between Union Square and Madison Square Park." [NYT]
• Philippe's expansion continues: The chain plans to set up an LA location. [P6]
• It looks like the end is near for the Hawaiian Tropic Zone. [TFB]
• Legendary Union Square veggie peeler Joe Ades has died. [NYT]

Here's a way to help out a victim of Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme and amuse elderly Jewish men on the golf course in Palm Beach at the same time. You can now pick up golf balls with Madoff's mug on them. They're named "Sleezeballs," of course and, yes, we're totally buying a box to send to Walter Noel when his birthday rolls around in June. [Dealbreaker]

Word is spreading around the office that layoffs are coming any moment. What should you wear for the big day? Ben Widdicombe, who found out in January that his "contract with a national magazine" (otherwise known as Star) was not being renewed, explains: "The perfect termination outfit should feature professionalism and employability as the top note, but with accents of confidence and an aftertaste that leaving the premises means moving on up. A sober suit with a bright shirt is perfect." One other bit of advice: "It is also important, when anticipating bad news, not to wear a favorite piece of clothing, which will forever be associated with an unpleasant memory." [NYT/The Moment]

If you've been spending hours at the gym each week hoping to meet that special someone, you've been wasting your time. According to the new Zagat guide to dating—yes, they're doing dating now—"less than 2 percent had luck finding love at the gym, in a place of worship, or on a blind date." (We're guessing gay men hooking up in the showers at David Barton or Crunch didn't qualify as "dating.") Ten percent of the people reported that "random encounters in public places" was a great way to meet new people. Just something to keep in mind the next time a weird guy starts rubbing up against you on the subway. [Zagat]

It's been a rough stretch for every banking CEO, and Goldman Sachs chief Lloyd Blankfein is no exception. While he did very well for himself in 2007—he took home a total of $67 million—he opted to forgo a bonus in 2008, and the $465 million in Goldman stock he owned at the beginning of 2008 was worth just $127 million by the end of the year. This probably explains why Blankfein's charitable contributions for 2008 fell off a cliff, too. In 2007, the Lloyd & Laura Blankfein Foundation handed out more than $1.5 million to more than three dozen charity groups. In 2008, the number dropped to $643,000. Almost every non-profit took a haircut: In 2007, for example, Blankfein and his wife gave more than $240,000 to Ethical Culture-Fieldston; in 2008, the number fell to just $45,000. But there were also a number of charities that were dropped altogether, such as the Robin Hood Foundation, which collected $390,000 from the Blankfeins in 2006 and $500,000 in 2007, but got zilch in 2008. The really grim news? Blankfein's foundation was only reporting contributions through January 2008, when the financial crisis was just beginning, which suggests much bigger drop-offs are yet to come. A look at the Blankfeins' contributions from 2006, 2007 and 2008 after the jump.

• Doubledown Media, the publisher of magazines like Trader, Cigar Report, and Dealmaker, and other titles aimed at the Wall Street set has shut down. [Folio]
• Those Pepsi ads that resembled a "MacGruber" skit from SNL? It was part of a deal between the soft drink company and Lorne Michaels, naturally. [NYT]
• The final Nielsen numbers are in: 95.4 million tuned in on Sunday. [MW]
• Bob Costas is leaving HBO to join the MLB Network. [THR]
• There's a boycott of CNBC today for some reason. [Jossip]
• HBO has acquired the rights to Joe Nocera and Bethany McLean's forthcoming book about "the meltdown and the reason it happened." [Variety]
.• CBS has ordered up a new show from the producers of Top Chef "that puts lovelorn singles into arranged marriages." We love it already. [THR]

In Karl Marx's day, religion was the opium of the masses, then it was television, and now, of course, the internet is the "social anesthesia that distracts people from the stress of unemployment," as the Wall Street Journal rather poetically puts it. Spending all day online playing games, posting on forums, and Facebooking is proving the most popular way of whiling away the long empty hours that would otherwise be spent panicking about the fact you may never work again/marveling at Maury Povich's tireless efforts to identify babies' daddies, much to the delight of many website owners who are seeing major surges in traffic.

Hotelier Jason Pomeranc should be in a good mood today. His long-awaited, much-delayed Smyth Tribeca hotel has finally opened! The launch isn't probably quite as exciting as he imagined it would be, especially since Andre Balazs' new Standard has been soaking up all the limelight as of late, and rooms at the Smyth are available for as little as $107 a night, which makes it cheaper than New York's worst hotel, the Hotel Carter. But you sure get a lot for your $107! The rooms feature bath products by Kiehl's, snacks by Dean & Deluca and Zabar's, Sferra linens, flat-screen TVs, iPod docking stations, and free in-room Wi-Fi access, although you may want to skip that particular amenity. And you may want to consider bring your own food with you, too—or at least a stack of menus: The restaurant doesn't open until spring.

Fox Business has some pics from inside Bernie Madoff's offices at 885 Third Avenue. It's a horrifying sight, as you can see from the photo above. (So if you're in the market for an interior designer, this is one person you probably want to strike off your list.) A couple more pics below, but you can also watch the full video here.

Heads up, Anderson Cooper fans: On February 26th, you'll have a chance to bid on lunch with the CNN anchor when Simon Doonan and Tim Gunn host the Bailey House's 21st annual auction at the Roseland Ballroom. It's lunch for three, we should point out—you get to bring a friend with you—which also keeps the Coop safe from being alone with an obsessive fan like, well, you. But you may need another person to help you foot the bill anyway. Last year's lunch with Andy went to two women for $4,500. [Bailey House]

Were you under the assumption that the recession would finally put an end to those annoying shows narrated by men with English accents who spend an hour listing off the ridiculous items that celebrities have purchased (or, oftentimes, received for free in exchange for the publicity)? Those Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous imitations don't seem to be disappearing, at least judging by Forbes' ad campaign for its upcoming "Most Expensive" special on E! (We're guessing "Most Expensive Crap No One Can Afford Anymore" didn't have much appeal with E!'s advertisers.) But at least the designer responsible for adding that "bling" text effect still has a job!

Yesterday, the Observer shared the news that former Fashion Week Daily reporter Jim Shi had landed a gig at Marie Claire, where he would be "covering Fashion Week shows and working on a new fashion news page on the Marie Claire website." The official response from the magazine was curiously tepid: "He is working on a limited amount of freelance for Marie Claire on the website only, on a trial basis," a spokesperson told the paper. Limited amount? Freelance? Trial basis? That sure doesn't sound like the job description Shi sent out to his colleagues in a mass email. Shi's grand plans to take over a section of the magazine, start a new blog, and coordinate his Fashion Week schedule in concert with Nina Garcia after the jump.

In case you were somehow under the impression that every last dispiriting ramification of the recession had been investigated, analyzed, and pontificated about already, Time would like to draw your attention to the ubiquitous but unsung phenomenon of post-layoff survivor's guilt. That's right, if you've clung on to your job, the fact that co-workers have lost theirs means that far from being relieved, you should be depressed: "[D]ealing with guilt that it wasn't you, anxiety that you might be next, exhaustion from the extra work you must take on and even envy of those who get to leave such a sullen environment—that's not much cause for celebration." Add this to the enhanced possibility of getting murdered at your desk and the likelihood that the office is ruining your health, and it's probably best to just give up and go and sell shell necklaces for pocket change on a distant island.

Here's something to keep in mind if you've ever had a meal at Nisos, the tacky Greek restaurant along Eighth Avenue in Chelsea: A murderer may have cooked your dinner! A reader tells us the restaurant featured prominently in a recent episode of the A&E show Manhunters. It seems one of the restaurant's cooks just so happened to be Greece's "Most Wanted" fugitive, having been implicated in a murder, kidnapping, and extortion scheme. The good news? He was caught and will now be serving up moussaka to his fellow prisoners.

• Former Wall Street big-wig Marshall S. Cogan is re-listing his apartment at 810 Fifth Avenue. Cogan put the sixth-floor spread on the market for $40 million two months ago, but pulled the listing soon after. It's now up for sale again, although the price is now just $25.5 million. [P6, BHS]
• James Craige, a partner at Stone Harbor Investment Partners, paid $7.5 million for a four-bedroom duplex at 170 East End Avenue. [Cityfile]
• Alan Alda and his wife Arlene have sold their three-bedroom home in Sag Harbor for $550,000. [Newsday]

Some of these women are still riding high. Some may soon be packing up their homes in East Hampton and taking a final spin on the Gulfstream jet. Their identities after the jump.

Nathan Lane turns 53 today. Public relations maestro Howard Rubenstein is 77. Blythe Danner is turning 66. Author Paul Auster is turning 62. Real estate heiress Denise LeFrak Calicchio is 67. Actress (and Sacha Baron Cohen fiancée) Isla Fisher is 33. Morgan Fairchild is celebrating her 59th. Actress Maura Tierney is celebrating her 44th. Daddy Yankee is turning 32. And Tallulah Belle Willis, the daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, turns 15 today.

• Olivia Palermo and Whitney Port are "horrified" that MTV producers have been pressuring them to get into a physical fight at "work" for an upcoming episode on The City and they've even threatened to walk off the set if they're forced to participate. How principled! [P6]
• Lindsay Lohan "stomped around" and "caused chaos" after finding out she'd have to sit in economy on a flight home from Tampa on Saturday. (She also told a friend to "come and visit me back there in case I die.") Horrified flight attendants eventually found her a seat up front. [Fox News]
• Things seem to be heating up between Madonna and Jesus Luz. Also, she took the model to brunch at Macelleria on Sunday, so you know. [DM, NYDN]
• It looks like Julie Janklow's new paramour is none other than surfer Scott Murphy, who split with Marci Klein back in December. [P6, previously]

And we were thinking Bernie Madoff's rep couldn't get any worse. David Patrick Columbia reports that Madoff typically paid with his American Express black card when he went out to eat, but he usually left peanuts for the people who served him. Reports a waiter at an unnamed Midtown eatery: "Everyone knows those people with that black card are the world's worst tippers. Bernie Madoff never once even left ten percent on his bill, and he came in here all the time." [NYSD]