You know what's really great about being wealthy and white? When you do something very bad, a judge will still probably allow you to go home to your comfy bed! Judge Jed Rakoff ruled today that Marc Dreier, the lawyer accused of bilking clients out of $400 million, can remain confined to his home on a $10 million personal recognizance bond. Dreier will have to pay to have armed security guards with him at all times, and they'll be entitled to use "reasonable force" if he tries to flee. And if Dreier gets bored sitting at home, he'll always be able to have nice, long chats with Bernie Madoff. [AP, WSJ]

• Lionsgate and the Weinstein Co. filed lawsuits against each other yesterday over distribution rights to the Sundance hit film Push. [THR]
• Shake up at Condé Nast: New Yorker publisher Drew Schutte is out and will be replaced by Condé Nast Traveler publisher Lisa Hughes. [NYP]
• The New York Times Co. is cutting staff at its About.com unit. [Reuters]
• Walter Isaacson has a few thoughts on how to save newspapers. [Time]
• The House has voted to extend the deadline to switch to digital TV. [NYT]
• Katie Couric will be hitting the catwalk during Fashion Week. Yay. [WWD]

You're not the only having a tough time these days. Celebrities are suffering amid the economic downturn, too, especially the ones signed lucrative deals to lend their names to lines of clothing, perfume and accessories. AdAge reports that Sarah Jessica Parker's Bitten line is now homeless, the result of Steve & Barry's bankruptcy last November. (The chain's implosion has also mucked up lines by Amanda Bynes, Venus Williams, and surfer Laird Hamilton.) As for Daisy Fuentes, who is pictured here at an event for Carson Kressley's QVC clothing line, she's suffered the shame of having her line downgraded from Kohl's to Walmart. Is there no justice in the world? On the bright side, AdAge describes her as a "Latina lifestyle icon," which should count for something, we imagine.

It looks like Martha Stewart won't be using a Turbochef oven when she settles into her Greenwich kitchen this evening to bake her usual batch of 17 apple pies. On Tuesday, Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia slapped Turbochef with a lawsuit for allegedly reneging on a deal to hand over $3 million in Turbochef stock and $5 million in cash in exchange for Martha promoting the line of stoves on both her and Emeril Lagasse's TV programs. (Martha bought out Emeril last year.) MSLO's lawyers claim Martha followed through on her end—and it appears she once had a cozy relationship with the Turbochef folks—but the relationshop later soured and now Martha is asking for $15 million in damages. Let's all hope that MSLO prevails, so the company can finally invest in some much-needed office decorations. The full lawsuit is after the jump.

Tommy Hilfiger and Dee Ocleppo carrying grocery bags on Madison Avenue ... Woody Allen attending last night's Knicks game ... Hugh Jackman getting into a car outside his Perry Street apartment building ... Chanel Iman arriving at JFK ... Spike Lee walking on Central Park South ... Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen going to lunch at Soho House ... Kirsten Dunst crossing the street in Tribeca ... Michelle Williams and daughter Matilda walking in Brooklyn ... Julianne Moore hailing a cab in the meatpacking district ... Josh Hartnett jogging downtown ... Rachel McAdams dressed up on the Sherlock Holmes set in Brooklyn ... Joan Cusack walking into a hotel on Central Park South ... Edie Falco pushing daughter Macy in a stroller at JFK ... Slumdog Millionaire star Freida Pinto shopping at Fred Leighton on Madison Avenue ... and Kate Winslet leaving her apartment in Chelsea.

The voicemail message at Gilles Bensimon's apartment.

Michael Bloomberg revealed the source of that syrupy smell that has occasionally (and mysteriously) wafted over the city over the past couple of years. And it's New Jersey's fault. Of course. Following an investigation by "a team of odor investigators," the city now says the culprit was the International Frutarom Corporation in North Bergen, which processes fenugreek seeds for flavorings. Your tax dollars at work! [1010WINS]

Were you aware that not so long ago, young corporate lawyers sometimes had the audacity to dress in casual clothes, even, gasp, Uggs and jeans? Well, if the recession has done anything positive, it's put an end to such wantonly inappropriate behavior, reports the Wall Street Journal's Christina Binkley. Yes, formal power dressing is apparently back with a vengeance, which for men means white-collared colored dress shirts with ties, expensive dark suits, and shiny shoes; basically the only way anyone in a law firm's office should be able to tell that it's not actually the eighties is by the presence of Blackberries. "I think people expect high-powered lawyers to look like high-powered lawyers," sniffs Bill Brewer of the law firm Bickel & Brewer. "Anything else is sending the wrong signal." Like the possibility of paying less than exorbitant billable rates in a recession, presumably.

• It looks like Russell Simmons has given up on plans to sell off his duplex at 114 Liberty Street, which suffered extensive damage on 9/11 and has been on-and-off the market ever since. Back in 2006, the pad was on the market with a $7.2 million price tag. Following a year-long renovation—and after moving out of the Saddle River home he shared with his ex, Kimora—Simmons is living there himself. The 8,000-square-foot apartment (with 3,000 square feet of outdoor space) now sports a design by Benjamin Noriega-Ortiz, "incorporates many Hindu and Buddhist ideas," and has its own yoga room, naturally. [NYP]
• Willem de Vogel, a partner at the private equity firm Three Cities Research, sold his 2,950-square-foot loft at 105 East 29th Street for $2.3 million. [CF]
• Béla Szigethy, co-CEO of The Riverside Company, and his wife Alice, have sold their 16th-floor apartment at 90 Riverside Drive for $3.5 million. [CF]

So much for people's ability to perform well under pressure: MRI scans carried out on stressed-out students about to take exams showed reduced activity in their prefrontal cortices—the area that controls attention, task-planning and judgment—and they did far worse on tasks than a relaxed control group. The best part? The study's subjects were medical students. So the next time you're being treated for something painful or life-threatening, cross your fingers that your doctor isn't too overburdened to think straight. [Newsday]

Some surprising finds from the massive list of Madoff victims released last night: John Malkovich, Hall of Fame pitcher Sandy Koufax, the estate of John Denver, CNN's Larry King, former public advocate Mark Green, real estate developer Larry Silverstein, and Madoff's own lawyer, Ira Lee Sorkin. (Not everyone listed is necessarily a victim—it includes anyone who responded to advertisements placed by the trustee overseeing the bankruptcy of the firm.) But there's one name that is curiously missing from the list. Zsa Zsa Gabor! The 91-year-old actress and her publicity-loving ninth husband, "Prince" Frederic von Anhalt, made a big production a couple weeks ago about how they lost $10 million to Madoff's scheme. Neither Gabor nor von Anhalt, however, are listed in the 163-page document.

You know those annoying commercials for the New York Times that have been blanketing the airwaves for the last few years? The ones that go on about how "there's the week, the weekend and the weekender"? The 92Y created an spoof of the spot. Click on the video above for amusing performances by the likes of Michael Ian Black, Todd Barry, Paul Rudd, and David Wain. [via AllThingsD]

Jennifer Jason Leigh turns 47 today. Sulzberger family patriarch and former Times publisher Arthur Ochs Sulzberger Sr. is 83. Former Morgan Stanley co-president Bob Scully is 59. Actress Laura Linney is turning 45. Writer/director Christopher Guest is 61. Baseball legend Hank Aaron is turning 75. Film director Michael Mann is 66. Oscar-winning documentarian Errol Morris is 61. Bobby Brown is turning 40. And two former SNL stars are celebrating today: Chris Parnell is 42 and Tim Meadows is 48.

• Bank of America went ahead with the purchase of Merrill Lynch—even after having last-minute doubts—because Washington pushed it to do so. [WSJ]
• Yesterday's testimony by Harry Markopolos before a House subcommittee looking into the Madoff affair was eye-opening, to say the least. [NYT, Reuters]
• One damning accusation by Markopolos: Walter Noel's Fairfield Greenwich Group went on a "three-year auditing shopping spree." [Fortune]
• Another Markopolos revelation: The Wall Street Journal missed numerous chances to break the Madoff story open. [Clusterstock]
• Reaction to Obama's plan to cap Wall Street pay—and opinions as to whether it could even work or not—has been all over the map. [WSJ, BN, NYT]
• Erin Callan took a leave from Credit Suisse because she's been summoned to testify before a grand jury about the collapse of Lehman Brothers. [NYP]
• The number of new claims for jobless benefits reached its highest level since the 1982 recession last week. [WSJ]

• Tom Cruise tried to impress a group of reporters at a press event in Brazil by speaking Spanish instead of Portuguese. Nice one, Tom. [P6]
• Etta James is no fan of Beyonce. She told a crowd in Seattle that she "can't stand" the singer, and that she "had no business" singing "At Last" at Obama's inauguration two weeks ago. Oh, and she's "gonna get her ass whupped," if she keeps singing Etta's songs, too. [NYDN, OK!]
• Paris Hilton wants to date a "big-money man" in LA, but she isn't having much success finding one who's willing to be seen with her in public. [P6]

If you're a Gossip Girl fan and you have nothing to do on Friday, head over to The Milan at 300 East 55th Street. The show will be filming there from 11:30am to 8:30pm. If you live in the Milan, on the other hand, you might want to stay as far away as possible. According to an email sent to residents by the management company yesterday, "one of the scenes will include up to 80 background actors located just outside the front door" and "access into and out of the building from the front door will be prohibited." And if you make it inside, do note the following: "One of the final scenes will be set near the elevators and will require the temporary holding of pedestrian traffic into and out of the elevators." The full email is below.

• Jason Wu's Fashion Week show will be the second-hottest ticket in town right behind Marc Jacobs. [NYO]
• Isaac Mizrahi's debut collection for Liz Claiborne is now online and up for sale. [Fashionista]
• Not everyone is excited about Fashion Week moving to Lincoln Center. Like Anna Sui. [NYM]
• Anna Wintour is styling Adele for the Grammys. [NYM]
• Football player Stewart Bradley is interning at Elle. [Fashionista]
• Eric Wilson explains the difference between Hello Kitty and Barbie. [NYT]

Wednesday evening special: The full list of Bernie Madoff victims, trading partners, and customers has been released publicly. You'll need about four hours to go through it—it's 162 pages long—but if you've been wondering if your neighbor's sudden decision to trade in his Mercedes for a Hyundai was because he was a victim of the scheme, now you'll be able to find out. (The list was compiled by a firm retained by the trustee charged with liquidating Madoff's securities firm, according to the Post.) We'll let you know if we spot any notable names. Naturally, you're welcome to go through it, too, and email us if you spot anything interesting. The list in PDF format is here.

• Eric Ripert has signed on to host his own PBS show called Avec Eric. [THR]
• Frank Bruni gives the Plaza's Oak Room a single star in today's Times, describing it as more of a "looker" than a "performer." [NYT]
• UES staple Swifty's is opening a Palm Beach outpost. [PBDN]
• JGV is bringing back Vong's original menu from 1992. [JGV]
• Forge will officially change its name to Marc Forgione this week. [P6]
• More details about what's happening at Ago in the Greenwich Hotel. [NYT]
• The Flatiron's Fleur de Sel is closing on February 21st. [Eater]
• It's a tough time to be in the restaurant biz, in case you hadn't heard. [NYT]
• Possibly related: Starbucks is thinking of offering "value meals." [AP]

Steve Schwarzman's Blackstone Group has an explanation for that lawsuit by Financial Times which accused the private equity giant of sharing an account login and password to the FT website. A Blackstone employee tells the Observer that it was all the fault of the London office and the work of eight renegade employees, and that the staff in New York had "nothing to with it." (Someone ought to tell this to the FT since it argued in court papers that the culprits "worked for Blackstone within the United States.") Also? Blackstone would like the world to know that it actually has 63 paid subscriptions to the Financial Times, which in Steve Schwarzman's preferred unit of measurement, comes out to 31 stone crabs. [NYO]