Wasn't life so much simpler when the function of the grey matter inside our skulls was a mystery as unknowable as what happens after we die or how many different wigs Tyra Banks owns? Now words like synapse and neuron are thrown around in general conversation, we use drugs to fine tune our dopamine and serotonin levels, and most disconcerting of all, machines understand our mental processes better than we can.
Did you read that story in the Post over the weekend about unemployed Wall Street women who have resorted to stripping to pay the bills? The piece focused on Randi Newton, a former investment banking analyst who says she turned to pole work after getting laid off by Morgan Stanley. But while it was a hopeful story that there is life after Wall Street—she says she took the job at Rick's Cabaret days after getting canned, now earns $160,000 a year "on tips alone," and that the club is "better run" than the bank—it now turns out that much of what she said may not be true. Newton has been an actress since 2001 and is currently busy promoting a book called Wall Street Stripper. Your kinky fantasies about the girl sitting in the cube next to you—crushed! [Dealbreaker]
Ellen Barkin walking in the West Village ... Mario Batali having lunch with the family at Da Silvano ... Gisele Bundchen going to a photo shoot at Chelsea Piers ... Julia Roberts walking in Chinatown ... Jessica Alba leaving her Tribeca hotel with her daughter Honor ... Claire Danes carrying a shopping bag in Soho ... Leighton Meester walking in the Village ... Mickey Rourke sporting a new 'do after leaving a salon on Madison Avenue ... Jennifer Aniston standing on the set of her new movie, The Baster ... Howard Stern walking a few blocks from his apartment building ... Mary J. Blige shopping with friends at American Apparel ... and Bernadette Peters hailing a cab outside Barneys.
Being the daughter of a fashion titan like Carine Roitfeld obviously comes with certain perks, little things like automatic entrée into the highest echelon of New York society and lucrative modeling contracts for a string of ad campaigns. But as Julia Restoin Roitfeld reveals, with the privileges come certain responsibilities, like making sure Carine doesn't catch her letting herself down, letting the family down, and letting the industry down—by wearing flat shoes! "My mum told me always to wear heels. If I'm not wearing heels, she says, 'What? You're in flats?' So whenever I see her, I make sure I have heels with me."
Don't expect to see Sean Avery disappear from sight anytime soon. The notoriously temperamental hockey player's stint as a Vogue intern last summer may still become the basis of a movie. (The working title is Puckface.) And he'll be adding restaurateur to his resume soon, too. He's teamed up with Beatrice Inn co-owner Matt Abramcyk and former art dealer Chris Miller to open a new restaurant and bar called Warren 77. [NYT]
• Emanuel Stern, the son of billionaire real estate tycoon Leonard Stern and president of his father's Hartz Mountain Industries, has sold the 6,500-square-foot home in Bridgehampton that he shares with wife Elizabeth for $8.5 million. [Newsday]
• Risa Meyer, the daughter of late socialite and philanthropist Kitty Meyer and founder of the online party-goods store PlumParty.com, has put her three-bedroom condo at Trump Parc East on the market for $14.8 million. [Cityfile, Stribling]
• Real estate developer Hunter Lipton and his wife, Tara, have paid $4.6 million for a third-floor apartment at 255 East 74th Street. [Cityfile]
Norah Jones turns 30 today. Celine Dion is turning 41. Warren Beatty is 72. Eric Clapton turns 64. Actor/comedian Paul Reiser is turning 52. Tracy Chapman is 45. Mark Consuelos, the husband of Kelly Ripa, is 38. Reality TV judge Piers Morgan is turning 44. MC Hammer is 47. And former 90210 star Ian Ziering turns 45 today.
• It seems Michael Wolff is finally coming clean about intern-turned-girlfriend Victoria Floethe: The author and Vanity Fair contributor brought her to a tasting at Graydon Carter's Monkey Bar last week and now admits he and his wife Alison Anthoine are planning to divorce. [P6]
• This will probably come as a huge surprise given his upstanding reputation, but it's rumored Bernie Madoff hasn't been faithful to his wife all these years, and may have cheated on her on a couple of occasions. [R&M]
• A "friend" of Joe Biden's daughter Ashley has been trying to sell a tape of her allegedly snorting cocaine for $250,000. [NYDN]
• Madonna appeared in a Malawian court today to discuss her adoption of a four-year-old girl, but a judge put off a decision until Friday. [AP, NYP]
• Washington is now playing hard ball: The Obama administration has forced out GM CEO Rick Wagoner and now says the company has 30 days to finalize its alliance with Fiat if it expects to get more bailout cash. [NYT, WSJ]
• UBS plans to lay off as many as 8,000 more employees worldwide. [Reuters]
• Working at Goldman Sachs has its perks: The bank spent tens of millions bailing out several senior execs facing a personal liquidity squeeze, including former COO Jon Winkelried and general counsel Gregory Palm. [NYT]
• Bank of America plans to increase some bankers' salaries by as much as 70 percent to offset reduced year-end bonuses. [BN]
• The Blackstone Group turned down a request from regulators to disclose the performance of its buyout and hedge funds; Fortress, however, caved. [BN]
• Timothy Geithner says some financial institutions will still need a lot more government aid in the future. You're stunned by that, we're sure. [BN]
• Saks has agreed to pick up Christian Siriano's fall line. The collection will be sold at the in-store boutique for up-and-coming designers. [NYM]
• Rachel Zoe is launching a budget clothing line. Because she can. [SW]
• Kira Plastinina, the 16-year-old designer and Russian mogul's daughter who watched her company implode recently, is ready for her next challenge. She's going back to school. Possibly to Parsons, in fact! [FWD]
• The company that bought the rights to the Bill Blass name now has plans to revive it and is currently hunting for a creative director. [Fashionista]
• H&M reported its first drop in quarterly profits in more than five years. [BN]
• Not only does Olivia Palermo shop at Strawberry's (or doesn't), she says she shops at the Strand, too. For, like, books and stuff. [Racked]
• The ever-humble Kanye West would now like to be known as Martin Louis The King Jr. The "Louis" refers to Louis Vuitton, obviously. [NYDN]
It looks like Bruce Wasserstein's Lazard pulled off the deal of the century. It actually found someone to pay cash money for a piece of Bernie Madoff's investment firm. Boston-based Castor Pollux Securities will pay between $500,000 and $15.5 million for Madoff's market-making business, depending on whether it ever makes any money again. [Bloomberg, NYT]
• Daniel Boulud's upcoming venue on the Bowery now has a name (DBGB), theme ("downtown beer hall"), and port-o-potty on the premises. [GS, Eater]
• Wine on grocery store shelves? Not gonna happen, sorry. [Crains]
• It appears Justin Timberlake and his partners have given up on plans to open a club in the former Manor space on Eighth Avenue. [Chelsea Now via Eater]
• Where in the world in Sirio Maccioni? In Abu Dhabi for an Andrea Botticelli concert as a guest of the crown prince. In case you were wondering. [GS]
• The strip club Sapphire now has a steakhouse attached to its bosom. [TFB]
• No need to order wine at dinner; a warm body suffices in a recession. [NYT]
So how did that little meeting go today in Washington between the president and the CEOs of the nation's largest banks? "It was very encouraging," said Morgan Stanley's John Mack. "We're all in this together," explained Wells Fargo CEO John Stumpf. "Our interests are very much aligned," said Robert Kelly, the chief of The Bank of New York Mellon Corp. "The president made it clear that he'd like this country to get back on track," offered JPMorgan's Jamie Dimon. "He wants us all to help." Sounds like it was almost a lovefest! Or, you know, not. The CEOs weren't given anything to eat—just "glasses of water." And according to someone who was in the room—and despite all that encouraging talk from the CEOs themselves—"it wasn't a relaxed meeting, though the group was engaged and attentive." Thank you for doing President Obama the favor of paying attention, gentlemen. Your sacrifice has been noted for the record. [BN, DB]
You know what's just infuriating? When you spend thousands of dollars on having big plastic domes inserted into your chest, and then men have the gall to notice them! "You can be at a club," marvels enhanced-to-a-C-cup Annabell Newell, "and a guy you've never met before will come up to you, stare at your chest and blatantly ask, 'When did you get them?' No 'Hi, nice to meet you.'" Outrageous! But in our brave new world of preponderant cosmetic enhancement, how does one inquire about the originality of someone's body parts without committing a faux pas?
• NBC is chopping 6 shows, including, yes, the Chopping Block. [THR]
• It's rumored Budget Travel has, yes, cut its budget. [Gawker]
• Another stain on Jim Cramer, not that he needs it: In '07, he called Andrew Cuomo a "communist" for proposing mortgage industry regulation. [NYT]
• The Times's Bill Keller sheds some light on yesterday's cuts and layoffs. [E&P]
• Condé Nast's Chuck Townsend sheds light on his staff changes. [AdAge]
• Lionsgate slashed 8 percent of its staff today. [THR]
• Newspaper ad revenue dropped 17.7% in 2008. [E&P]
• Americans spend 8.5 hours a day consuming video content. [NYT]
• Facebook needs a (generous) friend: It's trying to raise $100 million. [PC]
• Cable company Charter Communications is officially bankrupt. [NYT]
Lenny Kravitz hasn't been able to unload his Crosby Street condo despite numerous efforts over the past few years to find a buyer. For Lenny's sake, let's hope his real estate curse is just a local phenomenon and doesn't have wings. The rocker put his Miami Beach mansion on the market this week. The 5,717-square-foot spread, which he bought for $725,000 in 1996, is currently listed for $2.85 million. No word on any package deals, unfortunately, but there's no harm in asking. [SBCB via Real Estalker]
"Real Housewife" Alex McCord lost her job at Victoria's Secret a few weeks ago, a development that insures that construction of her Brooklyn townhouse won't be complete until 2017 or so. Unfortunately, her new gig won't help pay for the granite in her kitchen or French lessons for her son, since blogging for the Huffington Post doesn't come with a salary of any sort. But it does give her a platform to share her deepest feelings! McCord says that fear "has been a big, shadowy monster creeping up behind" her recently, especially as she hears about more and more people joining her in unemployment-land. But there are positive aspects to not having a job: "It feels great to actually make a date with someone you really want to see," she says, as if there are people in the city who are actually taking time out of their day to make such "dates." Clearly, though, she can't remain unemployed forever given her husband's modest salary managing a budget hotel, so she's currently on the hunt for new sources of income:
Lester Jon Ruston would really, really appreciate it if Katie Couric would stop bothering him already. That's certainly a sentiment we can appreciate! Her CBS newscast is a bit of a bother to sit through, no? Ruston's beef, however, doesn't have anything to do with her role of TV anchor. He says that Couric has spent the last few years making it her mission to harass him and ruin his life. Does that strike you as a little crazy? We should probably mention here that Ruston is a full-time resident of a medical facility that houses the criminally insane. But just because his imagination appears to be getting the best of him doesn't mean he lacks a work ethic. Ruston's original 2006 lawsuit against Couric back when she was at NBC was dismissed by a judge, but he's since updated the suit to reflect her gig at CBS. And this week he filed papers to depose Couric, so he can finally get to the bottom of the conspiracy against him. Ruston's legal filings and correspondence with the judge—which feature his signature catchphrase "Mess with Les... Go Down with the Rest!"—is below.
Uma Thurman arriving at her West Village townhouse ... Jennifer Aniston heading back to her hotel after leaving the set of her new movie in Chelsea ... Jessica Alba and Cash Warren pushing their baby Honor in a stroller ... Denise Richards getting out of an SUV with a cupcake in hand ... Jennifer Connelly heading into her Tribeca apartment building with her son ... Nicolas Cage showing up on the set of his new movie, The Sorcerer's Apprentice, in Brooklyn, and later filming scenes on a subway platform ... and Miranda Kerr walking downtown with a friend.
