Members of Mayor Bloomberg's administration announced last week that the city was making "real progress" combating homelessness. Allow us to respectfully disagree! [Flickr]

Remember that big protest that was scheduled for down by Wall Street today? It looks like the titans who control the economy also have connections with Mother Nature, since the heavy rain appears to have put a damper on things. Fortunately for activists, the weather report for tomorrow looks pretty good—bright skies, windy, 62 degrees—so they'll get another shot at it. [AP, previously]

Finally, news that detracts from the power of the internet to control each and every aspect of our lives. According to new research on consumer behavior, physically touching something—a dress, a purse, a computer—markedly increases the likelihood that we'll buy it as compared to, say, when we look at an image on a flickering screen. "When you touch something," warns the study's co-author, "you instantly feel more of a connection to it... that emotion can cause you to buy something you never would have bought if you hadn't touched it." So now we know why Tiffany is in trouble: It's not just the recession, but the fact that no one walks into the glass case-lined store for a pen and impulsively brushes their sticky fingers against a diamond necklace! [Time]

Disappointingly for observers of the goings-on at the G-20 Summit, Carla Bruni Sarkozy wasn't present, so while the media feigned enthusiasm at the task of judging Michelle Obama's outfits alongside the other First Ladies', it really wasn't much of a competition. Thank goodness, then, that the Obamas are now in France with the Sarkozys, and are faced, as one serious-minded journalist sees it, with a challenge of equal weight: Our president will use the NATO Summit to lobby for more help for allied troops in Afghanistan, and his wife will try with all her might to usurp Carla as the most glamorous First Lady on the planet.

Peter Madoff will finally be able to buy a loaf of bread this weekend. A judge agreed to partially lift the asset freeze on assets owned by the Bernie Madoff's brother this morning. He'll now have access to $10,000 a month to pay for things like his mortgage. Or he could always go out and blow it all on 4,000 loaves of bread, presumably. [Bloomberg]

• Andrew Sasson, the nightlife entrepreneur who used to live in NYC but now operates the Light Group from Las Vegas, has put his Hawaii mansion (left) on the market for $21 million. The 8,000-square-foot, eight-bedroom home comes with a pool and "party-friendly, tree-lined patio," just as you'd expect it would. [WSJ]
• Hotel developer Henry Kallan and his wife Emilia paid $2.995 million for a 38th-floor, three-bedroom co-op at 45 East 89th Street. [Cityfile]
• Architect Teresa Sapey has lowered the price of her two-bedroom apartment at the Plaza, which she picked up for $6.9 million in 2007 and put back on the market for $10 million just a few months later. It's now priced at $8.5 million. [Cityfile, Sotheby's]

Alec Baldwin turns 51 today. Eddie Murphy is turning 48. Pop princess Leona Lewis is 24. Amanda Bynes is turning 23. 90210's Jennie Garth is 37. Mr. Las Vegas, Wayne Newton, is turning 67. Former ski champion Picabo Street is 38. Legendary actress Doris Day is turning 87. Actor David Hyde Pierce is 50. And Skid Row singer Sebastian Bach is 41. Weekend birthdays after the jump.

• Madonna won't be leaving Malawi with a baby after all: A judge listed a residency requirement as the reason why he rejected her adoption petition, although there's still a possibility Madonna will appeal the ruling. [People, E!]
• These are tough times for Kelly Killoren Bensimon. The "Real Housewife," who was arrested a couple of weeks ago for allegedly beating up her boyfriend, now just lost her Saks modeling gig. [P6]
• Andre Balazs appears to have a new special someone in his life. He was spotted making out with beer heiress Daphne Guinness the other night. [P6]

• The unemployment rate jumped to 8.5 percent in March, the highest since 1983, after a total of 663,000 jobs were eliminated. [NYP, BN]
• At the G-20 summit in London. world leaders agreed to pump $1 trillion into the world economy to help bail out developing countries. [NYT]
• Bank of America chief Ken Lewis says it may take a few quarters to pay bank the $45 billion it received in bailout money. Also: He says Countrywide and Merrill "will prove to be two of the best acquisitions we've ever made" [DB]
• Related: Another top Merrill banker is ditching the firm. [WSJ]
• It appears it's the end of the line for Daniel Zwirn's hedge fund. [DB]
• Hedge fund managers are paying more attention to customers after sustaining heavy losses. So they're, like, wearing ties to work and stuff. [BN]
• A Florida accountant became the first U.S citizen to be arrested as part of the investigation into Americans who hid assets with help from UBS. [AP]
• This can't bode well: American Airlines is in talks to raise cash from its credit card partner, Citigroup, by selling frequent flyer miles. [Reuters]
• It's not as fun being on top these days: The median salaries and bonuses for the CEOs of 200 big companies fell 8.5% to $2.24 million in '08. [WSJ]

• The obsession with Michelle Obama's travel wardrobe continues: For an appearance today at the Royal Opera at Covent Garden, she wore a dress by Jason Wu and an asymmetrical cardigan by Junya Watanabe, which was either a "kooky combo" or her "edgiest fashion statement yet," depending on who you ask. [NYT, LAT]
• Speaking of Michelle in London today, can you believe that she and the Queen touched? The Queen "made the first move," reports the Daily Mail, although it was still "an electrifying moment of palpable majesté and a breach of centuries-long protocol." [DM]
• These may be difficult economic times, but Donna Karan would still very much appreciate it if you bought a pair of her new jeans for $595. [NYP]
• Roberto Cavalli can't decide if he wants to sell his company or not, but he's conducting discussions with investors anyway. [NYM]
• Men's retailers are hoping to get men to linger inside stores by handing out free booze. If anything is going to do the trick, that's probably it. [WSJ]
• Reloxin is kinda like Botox except it works quicker and lasts longer. [NYT]
• The fashionable women on line outside Topshop today. [Pipeline]

• Food & Wine's 2009 "Best New Chefs" were announced last night and, as expected, Corton's Paul Liebrandt was the only New Yorker on the list. [F&W]
• Delicatessen chef Michael Ferraro explains how he plans to turn around the restaurant known as "most loathed new restaurant of the past year." [NYO]
• A final tally of the restaurants that closed in March. [Eater]
• Terrance Brennan talks about what he has in store at Tribeca's Trigo. [TFB]
• You can now buy sushi from a little cart on the street in Midtown. [Eater]
• A collection of bars/lounges famous for their old-school cocktails. [NYT]
• Liquor companies will try anything to get you to keep drinking. [WSJ]
• The DEA shut down a pizza place in the Bronx that served up cocaine in addition to pizza. Insert your own "dough" pun here. [ABC News]

Stocks were up big today after regulators agreed to change an accounting rule and world leaders at the G-20 summit pledged more than $1 trillion to revive the global economy. So you know what that means: Jim Cramer now says the depression is over! Feel better now?

If you've been seeing the protests in London on TV and you're kinda disappointed the streets of New York aren't quite as "electric," you'll be pleased to know that the city will have some outraged protesters of its own beginning tomorrow.

It looks like Fox 5 reporter Arnold Diaz didn't get enough of Martha Stewart the last time he tracked her down. So he decided to go back for some more. This time she's on the hook for chopping people's fingers off thanks to the lounge chairs marketed under her name. We'd love to tell you more, but Arnie's report is proceeded by a big warning that the images are "extremely graphic," and we just ate, but please be our guest. [Fox 5]

• Bill O'Reilly is already threatening to totally ruin 2010: He says he's working on a book about Barack Obama which will come out next year. [NYP]
• Twitter fan Gary Vaynerchuk is getting seven figures to write 10 books about Twitter. And some think the publishing world doesn't "get it"! [WSJ]
• Hollywood is cutting back on the big pay packages for A-list stars. [WSJ]
• Ed Schultz is taking over the 6pm slot on MSNBC with a new show. [HP]
• No joke: Delta will soon sell its in-flight magazine on newsstands. [WWD]
• More on the recent round of layoffs at Condé Nast Digital. [PaidContent]
• Ad man Peter Arnell's disastrous rebranding of Tropicana also led to a 20 percent drop in sales in January and February. Nice work. [AdAge]
• Jon Stewart had a few words of advice for Rush Limbaugh last night. And Stephen Colbert went to town on Glenn Beck. [HP, Buzzfeed]
• NBC will air the final episode of ER tonight with a three-hour "event." [NYT]

Finding true love can be a costly endeavor, especially if you're a client of Shoshanna Rikon, the woman behind Shoshanna's Matches. According to a lawsuit filed this week, Rikon—who bills herself as the "New York City's No. 1 Jewish Matchmaker"—charged clients thousands of dollars a year for her services, even though New York's Dating Service Law (yes, there is such a thing) sets limits on the amount a "social referral service" can charge. Plus she wouldn't give refunds to dissatisfied customers or guarantee a minimum number of introductions, which isn't so kosher either, apparently. Nava Sheena, a former client of the company, is now taking the matter to court with a class action suit, and says she's located more than 500 other people who also claim they were overcharged by Rikon. The suit against the New York version of Patti Stanger is below.

Hugh Jackman carrying a box out of Blick Art on Bond Street ... Uma Thurman leaving her West Village townhouse with son Levon ... Jennifer Aniston filming scenes for her new movie at a restaurant in Williamsburg ... Paul McCartney standing outside Arabelle on East 64th Street ... Model Carmen Kass sitting outside at Bar Pitti ... Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo leaving ABC studios ... LL Cool J driving a Bentley in Midtown ... Famke Janssen getting on a bike ... and Chace Crawford being chased by two female fans on the set of Gossip Girl.

A few more pics from the crazy Topshop opening in Soho today—starring Kate Moss standing next to Topshop owner Sir Philip Green in a lovely green dress—are below.

Part of hedge fund billionaire Steve Cohen's art collection went on display today at Sotheby's. Paintings and sculptures by Matisse, Modigliani, Picasso, Jeff Koons, and Richard Prince—works that normally reside at Cohen's castle in Greenwich—are all there to be ogled, although don't ogle them too closely if you don't want to come face to face with a burly security guard (see left). Dealbreaker got a sneak peek yesterday and brought a camera along. So if you don't plan to make it in person—it runs through April 14—or you just want to see what $450 million in art in one room looks like, well, off you go. [Dealbreaker]

Further evidence, like we needed it, that our civilization is on an inexorable downward slide: The most intelligent among us are apparently less likely to have lots of children than the personalities known as "Type A"—those bossy, overbearing, ambitious types who push everyone out of their way. While there used to be an obvious link between men's wealth and their, um, procreativity, new research by evolutionary psychologists suggests that "leadership qualities like taking charge and being competitive have an evolutionary advantage even if high socioeconomic status no longer does." Basically, overconfident, pushy people get laid a lot, while polite, unassuming nerds stay home alone and Twitter about Battlestar Galactica.