• Government officials—the people who essentially run Citigroup these days—have had talks about replacing CEO Vikram Pandit. About time! [FT]
• UBS is considering selling all or part of its hedge funds business. [Reuters]
• The Treasury Department's plan to rescue banks by having the government link up with private investors is "inherently vulnerable to fraud," says a government investigator, which is not very reassuring news. [WSJ, NYT]
• All the financial institutions that reported better-than-expected results may have also undermined investors' confidence in the sector. [NYT, DB]

• Mayor Bloomberg has pronounced it "Sparkle Week" in NYC as part of an effort to give a boost to the jewelry industry. They sure could use the help: Retailers in the Diamond District report that sales have dropped by more than 50 percent over the past year. [NYM, Crain's]
• Jil Sander's new Madison Avenue store has opened its doors. [Racked]
• Lauren Hutton was injured while surfing a couple of weeks ago, but she's still hoping to make it to the Costume Institute ball. [NYM]
• Is Chloe Sevigny single-handedly trying to bring back the sandals-and-socks look, or was the combo of sun and booze at Coachella to blame? [Frisky, JJ]

You know the trend in recession chic has gone a little too far when one of the worst hotels imaginable reports that it has a waiting list. The first-ever "zero-star hotel," which doubles as both an actual hotel and art installation and is scheduled to open in Switzerland in June, is situated in an air raid shelter and features dormitory-style rooms, shared bathrooms, limited hot water, no heat, and no windows. But it already has a 1,000-person waiting list. It's also where AIG and Bank of America should probably plan to hold their next training seminar, but we have a feeling that isn't going to happen. [HotelChatter]

• A roundup of what's opening this week and next month, too. [Eater, Eater]
• Terrance Brennan's Bar Artisanal and Steve Hanson's 675 Bar will probably turn into "the places to be during the Tribeca Film Festival," so you know. [GS]
• City Councilman Eric Gioia is proposing that fast food restaurants be prohibited from opening within a tenth of a mile of public schools. [NYT]
• A roundup of places to take your mom for Mother's Day. [Zagat]
• How do you know it's spring? The palm trees are in place at 230 Fifth. [NYT]
• Mi Cocina in the West Village has been seized and is now for rent. [Eater]
• Bruni takes a trip to Astoria and leaves Taverna Kyclade a happy man. [NYT]
• NYC has the best food in America, according to an opinion piece in Saturday's Wall Street Journal. But of course you already knew that, didn't you? [WSJ]

So much for that little rally last week. The Dow Jones industrial average fell 290 points today, making it the biggest one-day selloff in more than 2 months, and the S&P shed more than four percent. Jim Cramer deceives us once again! [CNN, WSJ, NYT]

Jill Kargman's new novel, The Ex-Mrs. Hedgefund, was written before the economy came crashing down, which explains why if you pick up a copy—it came out last week—you may feel like you've been transported back in time to the middle of 2006, when everyone walking down Park Avenue was full of optimism and no one had any problem spending $50,000 on a two-year-old's birthday party. Things have changed a bit since then, although Kargman isn't allowing the unfortunate timing of her novel derail her PR campaign. Quite the opposite, in fact: Her book party this evening will feature a blood-red cocktail called the "Nightmare On Wall Street," and she's using the financial crisis to detail how some of the city's richest women have been coping with the downturn.

• The 2009 Pulitzer Prize winners were announced today. [Pulitzer.org]
• It's been six years since the release of The Da Vinci Code, but Knopf says Dan Brown's latest, The Lost Symbol, will hit stores in September. [AP]
• Hollywood agencies Endeavor and William Morris appear to have cemented a merger, although an official announcement is still forthcoming. [THR]
• With the radio business struggling, some commercial stations are now following the lead of public radio and asking for donations. [WSJ]
• 17 Again was No. 1 at the box office with a gross of $24.1 million. [THR]
• Fran Drescher says she's in talks to host a cable TV talk show. The program would cover politics, culture, and health issues, and she claims she's in discussions with MSNBC, PBS, and Oprah Winfrey's OWN. God help us. [USN]

Rudy Giuliani has been waging war on gay marriage in recent days, part of a plan to firm up support with the Republican base in advance of a possible run for governor. This means he will probably not be attending the wedding of Howard Koeppel and Mark Hsaio—the couple that graciously provided Rudy with a place to crash folowing his split with Donna Hanover in 2001— who report today that they plan to tie the knot in Connecticut on May 2. Although the ex-mayor once promised the couple that he'd marry them himself if gay marriage ever became legal in New York, he now claims marriage "should remain between a man and woman." Or, in Rudy's case, a man and three different women, including his second cousin once removed. [NYP]

This is a tough time for the magazine business, so it's only to be expected that publishers will do whatever is necessary to defend their dying brands. You may have never picked up a copy of Metropolitan Home (or even heard of the title), but Hachette wasn't thrilled to find out that a company has been producing lighting fixtures under the "Metropolitan Home" name, especially since part of Hachette's plan to save the title consists of launching a line of home decor products under the same name.

We occasionally get emails (or actual mail) from people looking to pass a message to one of the people profiled on this site. Normally we'd just delete the message and move on, but we'd really hate to think that George Soros would miss out on a "fantastic" investment opportunity, especially when guaranteed moneymakers are so few and far between these days. If anyone at Soros Fund Management happens to be reading this, you'll find the details on "the ultimate deal" courtesy of a man named "Benny Q." after the jump. If you're intrigued and dying to connect with Benny to hear more, contact us and we'll put y'all in touch.

As fans of fashion/ritualized flagellation celebrate the imminent return of Project Runway, we are reminded that the show is the very definition of a double-edged sword: Yes, it glorifies that black-hearted baby machine Heidi Klum, but it's also enabled the lovely Tim Gunn to impart his civilizing insight not only to his contestants, but to us all. For example, as he tells the Miami Herald, "there are three key aspects to being fashionable: silhouette, proportion and fit." Words to live by!

Marisa Tomei walking with her boyfriend, Logan Marshall Green ... Jon Stewart shopping with his wife and kids on 8th and Broadway ... Christy Turlington and Ed Burns crossing the street with their kids in Tribeca ... ... Lauren Conrad leaving JFK ... Joy Bryant holding a baby during a lunch at Gemma ... Anderson Cooper walking by himself ... Jay-Z and Beyonce shopping in Soho ... Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber walking to Pinkberry with their son and dog ... Rachel McAdams and Josh Lucas getting out of a car in front of their hotel in Soho ... Heidi Klum and Seal arriving at LaGuardia with their kids ... Josh Hartnett walking with a friend in Soho ... and Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott leaving dinner at Cipriani Downtown.

Unless you have reason to keep track of focus group-speak, you may not know that those born after 1980 are no longer members of Gen Y: They're Millennials, and unlike the brash, acquisitive, me-me-me Gen Y brats with their bling and labels and rainbow parties, Millennials are apparently leading the zeitgeist's new mood of worthy earnestness. Needless to say, this a huge pain for MTV, which is now obliged to supplement its usual rotation of spoiled vapidity displays like My Super Sweet 16 with shows that—God help us—are more community-spirited and "inspirational."

• It looks like Abigail Disney has found a new apartment to replace the West End Avenue co-op she recently sold: The Disney heiress and her husband, Pierre Hauser, are paying $12.16 million for a 16th-floor apartment at 15 Madison Square North. [Cityfile]
• Writer/director John Ridley paid $6.65 million for a 2,237-square-foot condo at 15 Central Park West in July 2008, relisted it a few days later for $13 million, and then dropped the price to $9.995 million last December. Now he's cutting his asking price some more: The three-bedroom pad is currently listed for $8.5 million. [Cityfile, Corcoran]

How disturbing and shocking! It seems the Vogue promotion offering new subscribers a free "exclusive red handbag" may be misleading. Although the photo that accompanies the ad shows "a red leather bag with a crocodile embossment and a clasp with over-the-shoulder straps," what actually comes in the mail is a "red canvass bag with 'pleather' handles about the size of a small gym bag." Innocent mix-up or further evidence of budget cutbacks at Condé Nast? You decide! [NYP]

Carmen Electra is 37 today. Jessica Lange is 60. Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens turns 89. Real estate mogul Bill Rudin is turning 54. Ryan O'Neal is 68. Author Heidi Julavits is 41. Victoria's Secret supermodel Miranda Kerr turns 26. NFL Network chief Steve Bornstein turns 57. Artist Matthew Day Jackson is 35. George Takei of Star Trek fame is turning 72. Journalist Andrew Tobias is 62. And '80s sitcom star Joey Lawrence turns 33 today.

• Madonna fell off a horse while riding at photographer Steven Klein's house in Bridgehampton on Saturday. She wasn't seriously injured, but don't think for a minute she's taking any blame for the spill. Her flack blamed the accident on a rogue paparazzo who jumped out of the bushes and startled the horse, although both the photographer in question and the police don't share that account. [NYDN, NYP, E!]
• Uma Thurman and Arpad Busson were rumored to be getting hitched in the Bahamas on Saturday, although there's still no word on whether any ceremony actually took place. [People, UPI]
• Has Lindsay Lohan gone straight? She was spotted "flirting relentlessly" with a group of guys including Leonardo DiCaprio at a club last week. [Sun]
• Rumor has it Naomi Campbell is thinking of moving to Moscow so she can be closer to boyfriend Vladislav Doronin. Say it isn't so! [DS]

• Stocks are down in early trading today as investors brace for disappointing earnings as well as signs the recession is getting worse. [WSJ, BN]
• Bank of America reported first quarter profits totaled $4.2 billion and revenues almost doubled, not that any of that will do much to soothe angry investors, who are pushing for a change in management. [NYT, WSJ, [NYT]
• Citigroup's first quarter profit of $1.6 billion last week? That may have been the product of creative accounting more than anything else. [NYT]

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• Kanye West's girlfriend, Amber Rose, shows some skin (and crack) in the the new ad campaign for his Louis Vuitton line of sneakers. [NYM]
• Those empty storefronts in the far West Village? Some people seem to think it's all Marc Jacobs and Ralph Lauren's fault. [Villager]
• Speaking of Marc, the new Jacobs by Marc Jacobs collection features the work of artists with disabilities and benefits the arts. [Teen Vogue]
• Filene's Basement is now for sale, if you're interested. [Crain's]
• 7 For All Mankind opens its third NYC outpost tomorrow. [Denimology]
• The fashion business may be suffering here, but that's the case in North Korea: Retail outlets in Pyongyang have never been busier, or at least that's what the country's official news agency is reporting today. [Reuters]