"Johansson is somewhat shocked that he keeps up their back-and-forth correspondence." [Politico]

A black man's in the running for president: It's a historic event, a crucial time for the Democratic party, and for the American people. Yet if you're Scarlett Johansson, naturally it's all about you! Barack Obama's got a vocal supporter in the zaftig blonde actress, who's discovered that his campaign is the perfect opportunity to direct even more media attention toward herself, while purporting to be not just another narcissistic starlet. "I don't want to seem like I'm holier than thou," she rhapsodizes to Politico.com (we think she can rest easy) but "if the spotlight is on me, I might as well try to direct it on things and causes that I believe in." If you believe, Scarlett, then what more does the electorate need to hear?

The closest the internet can come to coughing up a reference to a "terrorist fist-jab" that doesn't involve Hill is one comment on political blog Human Events Online. The comment was deleted. And also it was insane.

Barack Obama made two moves recently that leave him open to charges of selling out. One, his selection of James Johnson to help select a running mate. Johnson is a former CEO of Fannie Mae, where he helped usher in the subprime lending crisis. Also he's a Bilderberg attendee! The other new hire, though, will surely upset many more liberal stalwarts: Obama named Jason Furman as his economic policy director. Furman is a former Clintonite economist who loooooooves giant retailer Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart, he says, is a boon to poor Americans, because their prices are so low. They keep their prices low, critics charge, by fucking over their non-union workforce and aiding the export of manufacturing jobs overseas, but Furman argued in a 2005 paper that consumers saved enough money shopping at the store to offset the impact on wages. Obama's never quite been a champion of organized labor, but this selection does throw him open to accusations of pretty blatant hypocrisy (hooray electoral politics!):

The media is having a little trouble getting the story straight on Barack Obama: Just a week after his and Michelle's fist pump—which most commentators deemed an adorable gesture of affection, but which always-gentlemanly Fox News anchor E.D. Hill slammed as a terrorist fist jab—nobody can agree on whether he's the poster-boy for stylish dressing or an absolute fashion disaster.

CNBC's Maria Bartiromo: "Sell anything, like a home or stocks, and make a profit... 30 percent of the profit will go to the government instead of 15." [Post]

We tried to explain that Barack Obama's exchanging of respect knuckles with his lovely wife was NO BIGGIE, but in writing about it, all we really did was add to the deluge of maddening idiocy. The most repellent reading comes, of course, from Fox News, who actually ask if perhaps the fist-bump was "a terrorist fist jab." Then they bring on a body-language expert to analyze what is a modified high-five, people. WE WARNED YOU. So let's watch E.D. Hill and her legs explain what that crazy threatening fist thing was!

Starbucks just unveiled a special rewards program, offering free refills and wireless internet for its most loyal addicts. But this isn't enough for Times columnist Ron Lieber, who considers himself a very special, lucrative customer and who has a list of demands. He would like his own special, shorter lines and a special VIP seating section with Aeron chairs and reserved electrical outlets. He would like to be invited to exclusive parties. And everyone else would like his head on a platter. Again.

So, Senator Hillary Clinton gave that sort-of-concession speech today, huh? Did you miss it? Here's a bit of it.

Yazmany Arboleda, the masterful young media manipulator and artist of debatable talent, still has the national press talking two days after the Secret Service shut down his "art exhibit" about the Assassination of Barack and Hillary. But that's okay, because now the kid is digging his own grave with grand pronouncements. Hoax, you say? No, this whole stunt is probably just over your head:

Much as there would be no Gawker without Spy, there apparently would be no Barack Obama without I Spy. Interracial buddy cops invented tolerance! [Slate]

They'll let just about anyone blog these days, won't they? News.com's latest addition: recovering adman Chris Matyszczyk, who writes under the rubric "Technically Incorrect," and reminds me a bit of Dan Lyons's alter ego, Fake Steve Jobs — except that, having met Matyszczyk briefly, I think this is the real thing, not a put-on person. Matyszczyk's fantasy phone call between Hillary Clinton and Mark Zuckerberg is hilarious: Clinton blames Zuckerberg for her loss to Obama, and then hits the paper billionaire up for a donation. What's really funny: Matyszczyk is outsidery enough not to mention the fact that Zuckerberg's cofounder, Chris Hughes, left the social network early on to run Obama's Web campaign. Zuckerberg's posse really is at fault, and not in a metaphorical Facebook-generation way.

The "fist-bump" between Barack Obama and his wife Michelle in St. Paul the other night has already become a semi-iconic detail of an iconic moment—the first black presidential candidate sharing a funny and seemingly genuine moment of affection with his wife. Of course once the glow of "hooray us! we finally made it up to the blacks!" wears off among the pundit class, expect to hear about it again. The fist-bump, we mean—or, as the New York Times might refer to it, the "closed-fist high-fives." You will probably hear that it is a Black Gesture. Some particularly bent people will say even more confused things. Because these people are old and rich and out of touch. Much like the (admittedly AWESOME) time Obama "brushed his shoulders off," it was a simple moment that helped demonstrate that, contrary to popular belief, Obama is "in touch" with Real Americans. Allow us to explain!

You wouldn't know it from the packed, $28,500-a-head fundraiser he held on Park Avenue last night, but Obama panic is setting in among the city's ultra-rich. With at least one member of the moneyed class, that is. From the Observer comes the report that Leonard Toboroff, chairman of Houston-based energy company Allis-Chalmers Energy, is putting his 3,973-square-foot, 11-room North Moore Street penthouse (which he bought from Tom Freston) on the market for $17.9 million. Why? He's worried that a victorious Obama will raise capital gains taxes. [Observer]

As predicted, Yazmany Arboleda—the publicity-seeking artist hastily shut down by the Secret Service yesterday for his exhibit about the "Assassination" of Barack and Hillary—made a clean sweep of the New York media. He is truly a master of his craft. The stories run the gamut, from the Post's throwaway one-off to the Sun's cautious warning that this whole art project might be a big hoax. And let's hope it is; it would be worthwhile comeuppance for the equally publicity-seeking New York Police Commissioner, who really should have had better things to be concerned about yesterday:

The UK Sun is perhaps the paper that gives the best indication of Rupert Murdoch's schemes and aspirations. It's based almost entirely on unrepentant nativism, anti-Continental prejudice, breathless violent crime reportage, immigrant/pedophile fear-mongering, celebrity abuse, royal family adoration, and T&A. It has the highest circulation of any daily English-language newspaper in the world. And it loves Barack Obama! In a rapturous story published today under the header "The REAL American Idol," the Sun's political team all but deifies the Illinois Senator.

• Oprah Winfrey said Barack Obama's victory made her do "the happy dance all day." And she's totally ready to piss off more viewers by campaigning for him again. [Showbiz Spy]

Hillary Clinton tonight announced her impending, merciful departure from the endless Democratic primary she already lost. Instead of angrily demanding to be co-president with Barack Obama or whatever, as it seemed she might after her non-concession speech Tuesday, Clinton will on Saturday "extend my congratulations to Senator Obama and my support for his candidacy" during a thank-you event for her supporters, according to an email published on Wonkette. "I will be speaking... about how together we can rally the party behind Senator Obama." The email blitz is, of course, a bit of a "fuck you" end-run around the media, who Hillary has not trusted, ever. And it allowed her to delay this announcement until she could confirm Oscar De La Renta was available to put together a very special pantsuit. Full pre-concession email after the jump.

Some of Hillary Clinton's crazy dead-enders, the sort of supporters who like to wear stickers on their foreheads, screamed criticisms of Barack Obama during Clinton's end-of-election speech Tuesday night, nearly interrupting her. Less privileged cultists vented their hysterics on Web forums like HillaryClintonForum.net, where they said Obama "sounds like a donkey," only got into law school thanks to affirmative action and is a front for Islamic extremists. You can practically feel the Democratic party getting stronger. Some excerpts:

On June 18, Michelle Obama will be on daytime lady talk show The View, and not as some piddling guest, either, as producers originally proposed: The prospective first lady is going to be a full host, just like Cindy McCain, except unlike Cindy she's widely expected to call Barbara Walters "whitey," curse and burn an American flag. As a full host, Obama will get "to help interview guests and participate in the opening 'hot topics,' or banter about what's in the news that day," and also shift uncomfortably as her randy co-hosts ask about husband Barack and his, uh, physical fitness. I guess this is Michelle Obama's big chance to prove to prospective Barack supporters that she's not the crazy, mouthy free-thinker she's been made out to be. Just like a certain other would-be presidential wife had to do 16 years ago. How far we've come. Michelle should totally show up in a burka. After the jump, how the View ladies welcomed Michelle's husband.