The most important election in a generation is just four days away. Every day brings fresh news about the crumbling American economy. So how are good 'ol Americans coping with these turbulent times? They're buying guns in record numbers, of course! That's what Fox News is reporting, at least, which says FBI background checks are up nine percent from last year. And just in case you weren't aware of it, this increase is all Barack Obama's fault. Decent Americans are just buying up lots of guns now so they have them in case Obama wins the election and he changes gun control laws, in which case you'll have to pry their semi-automatics from their cold, dead hands.

♦ What does Bravo have in the works to replace Project Runway if it moves to Lifetime? There's a Runway ripoff called The Fashion Show. There's also Celebrity Sew-Off, in which "celebrities" will compete in a competition for their own clothing label, which should be totally awesome because we've always wanted to buy jeans designed by Jill Zarin. [THR]
♦ The sponsors for Bravo's fifth season of Top Chef? Campbell's Soup, Diet Dr. Pepper, and Quaker. [AdAge]
♦ Because you haven't heard enough about Bravo today, the NYT magazine profile of Bravo boss Lauren Zalaznick (left) is now online. [NYT]
♦ More details on the cuts and layoffs at Condé Nast. [NYP]
♦ Condé Nast's glitzy Fashion Rocks show is no more. [AdAge]

Amid Rachel Maddow's decisive ratings success, the most credible knock against the Keith Olbermann protege is that her guests tend to reinforce her own viewpoint rather than act, more provocatively, as foils. This made the MSNBC host's interview with Barack Obama tonight particularly tricky. If Maddow was too deferential, she'd be knocked as predictably in the tank; too hard and she'd alienate her lefty viewers. Her solution was clever: Needle the Democratic presidential nominee on his left flank with questions about why he doesn't slam the Republican Party more and whether Afghanistan might turn into an Iraq-style quagmire.

Pamela "Atlas" Geller Oshry is a conservative blogger previously notable only for having vlogged in a bikini, once, and for being totally obsessed with mustachioed former UN ambassador John Bolton. Today, she announced that Barack Hussein Obama is not, as previously reported, the son of Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., but rather the illegitimate son of Malcolm Little, a.k.a. El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz, a.k.a. Malcolm X. Yes, she is serious. Honestly? It is too much work to comb through her insanely long and convoluted post in order to write some sort of summary, so we'll just post some random excerpt from her fascinating investigation:

Variety today dares to look beyond panic in the economy for a detailed sketch of one of the most critical policy decisions facing the next presidential administration: Where's the party? The word is synonymous with way more than just one's affiliation in 2008, says one Washington social guru, who can't wait for her calendar to blossom once more with boldface Hollywood names beating a path to an Obama White House:

♦ Teen Vogue is opening a retail outlet at the mall in Short Hills, New Jersey. It'll be called "Teen Vogue Haute Spot" and, no, this is not a joke. [NYT]
♦ More than 20 percent of American households watched Barack Obama's infomercial on Wednesday night. [NYT]
♦ Joe the Plumber is pursuing a country music deal and could have an album out by Inauguration Day, although we're going to assume this won't be Barack's musical choice for the big day. [Politico]

Shock! Barack Obama's Aunt Zeituni, described lovingly in his memoir Dreams From My Father, lives in Boston "in modest circumstances," according to the Times of London. Zeituni Onyango lives in public housing in South Boston, and tells the Times she is praying for Obama. She's even donated money to his campaign! It's not clear whether the Obama campaign or the candidate know she's in Boston, though her unwillingness to speak to reporters until after the 4th suggests that someone knows, right? Onyango is Obama's father's half-sister. The Times also tracked Obama's mysterious "Uncle Omar" to Boston, where used to run a convenience store. Then he was evicted and now they don't seem to know where he is. Obama's many, many relatives on his father's side are of great interest to the British press, for some reason. Back in August, the Telegraph reported that Italian Vanity Fair found Obama's half-brother living in obscurity in Kenya. Why does the British press care so much? What does it matter? It is kind of sad, yes, that many of Barack Obama's distant relatives live in poverty. This is perhaps why he is such a wealth-redistributing socialist? Once Obama is elected, of course, he will seize Joe the Plumber's mansion and use it to house his many, many illegal immigrant relatives.

Amber waves of grain, arthritis ointment application, an emotionally distant Sarah Silverman the morning after—The Barack Obama Show really offered something for everyone. And by "everyone" we'd include network heads, as preliminary Nielsen numbers show the 30-minute hope-infusion juiced ratings across the board. Even ABC's struggling Pushing Daisies benefited from a small counter-programming bump, though still only managed to squeak out a meager 2.2. From THR:

Assuming Barack Obama pulls this thing off next week, we imagine we're due for a deluge of media gushing over our First Black President. No, seriously, it'll make the last two years look like a dress rehearsal. And it will all lead to a glorious crescendo of treacly nonsense by January, when Obama, secret socialist muslim god willing, is sworn in. So. That really makes it all the more ridiculous that Time editor Richard Stengel has taken to the YouTubes to ask "you" who should be named the Time Person of the Year. Every sitting President has received the dubious honor, with Bush II, Reagan, Carter, Clinton, and others all getting it the years of their elections. And they were all old white guys. So go ahead and email "NOBAMA" to Stengel and see how far it gets you if Barack wins Colorado and Nevada next week. A scant two years after naming YOU Person of the Year, Time is now just jerking YOUR chain.

So not only did Barack Obama avoid making a terrible GAFFE on the Daily Show, he was actually much more engaged and funny than a written summary of his comments by elitist pool reporters would lead you to believe. The Democratic presidential nominee's 6-pointish lead didn't leave Obama cocky, but did relax him enough to joke about being a Kindergarten socialist, libtard propagandist and half-redneck Frankenbitter who won't be able to cast an Obama-Biden vote without imploding. His guest-editing stint on Wonkette starts Thanksgiving Eve, drunkenly. (Click the video icon for excerpts.)

• Chris Matthews, MSNBC: "It was romance. It was realism... I thought it was fabulous."

A media pool report on Barack Obama's Daily Show taping indicated he handled the appearance with his usual calm rationality and didn't blow everything with an ill-advised gaffe, as nervous nellies (or anyone who has tracked Democratic presidential nominees for the past, oh, two decades) might worry he would. According to the Daily News' Mike McAuliff, the candidate (wisely!) wouldn't even indulge a joke about old people in Florida:

Click to view · Can't wait 'til 8 to find out what happens in The Barack Obama Show? Well then you might be interested to learn the surprise twist that he [SPOILER ALERT!] is actually God and is fucking Sarah Silverman! · Self-professed stalker and balls-addict The Blazing Shark details her ongoing e-mail exchanges with a cute TV "child actor in a film almost all of us have seen" she desperately wanted to de-pant (and did, in a car). [via LAist] · Over a year later, Mel Brooks comes crawling back to Cloris on his hands and knees. Delicious vindication! · The Beatles have licensed their music to Rock Band, thereby rendering the video game our neighbors have driven us insane with over the past eight months bigger than Jesus by association. · Hey—Obamicorns!

Within minutes of this post's publication on the East Coast, the Barack Obama infomercial American Stories American Solutions — formerly known as Hole in the Wall: Election Edition — will premiere on NBC, CBS, and FOX. The procrastinators at the Obama campaign waited until this afternoon to unveil the official spot promoting the 30-minute ad, supplying what we think is the first-ever commercial for a commercial in electoral history. As with most mediocre trailers, we imagine that once you've seen this, you don't need to see the rest (hint: talking candidate, stirring music), but you be the judge after the jump: Is it Obama or Pushing Daisies in your 8 o' clock hour?Click to view

This is the hot new trend of late October: openly racist white people for Obama! It began with random tales of canvassers talking to voters who plainly said they were "voting for nigger." Now, this kind of amazing photo of a home in Indiana with an Obama sign and a Confederate Flag has been making the rounds in the Tumblrverse. There are more illustrative anecdotes below! Politico's Ben Smith wrote a story rounding up the stories of voters who "wouldn't want a mixed race marriage" for their children but are still voting for Obama. It featured this awesome Paul Begala quote:

It's probably safe to say that Howard Kurtz is the most prominent member of his disreputable clan, the media critics. He analyzes the press full-time for the Washington Post, one of the few national papers left, while the Times has no one regular press critic. Kurtz also has a tv show of his very own! How did he swing such a cushy job? By regularly producing the kind of trenchant media analysis on display in today's column, about a magical fantasy world in which Barack Obama is losing. In this bizarro universe, the Obama campaign is poorly managed, beset by gaffes, and the candidate is a national joke. It's really useful thought exercise, if you're into thinking about things that don't relate to reality. This is his thesis:

Barack Obama t-shirts remain really popular in Union Square Park. (Just a few of the lines you can have emblazoned on your chest: "Obama for yo mama," "Barack's How I Roll," and "Bark for Obama.") Most are on sale for $20. Of course, if you're still searching for an Obama tee that summarizes your political beliefs, you can also just wait a week and pick one up for $0.50 on Ebay. [Urbanite]

♦ Details on the layoffs and management changes at Time Inc. [NYP]
♦ More on the demise of Maer Roshan's Radar and its God-awful TMZ-like reincarnation. [NYO, HuffPo]
♦ Fox News has apologized for putting a racist and anti-Semite on the air. [MM]
♦ Noted media expert (and former basketball player) Charles Barkley thinks Fox News is "corrupt." [B&C]
♦ Barack Obama's 30-minute infomercial airs tonight. [AdAge, Politico]

Barack Obama's finally taken a shot at Republican Vice Presidential charade Sarah Palin, America's Favorite Halloween Joke-slash-Future of the Republican Party. The official campaign ad repeats the fun old McCain quote about how he doesn't understand that "economy" thing and his VP pick will probably have to help him with math. Then, cut to Palin winking. Remember how she can't even wink correctly? It was stupid when George W. Bush winked in debates, but at least the man can actually wink. Palin flinches. When it comes to the economy, can America handle flinching? Until we read otherwise, we're going to assume this is one of those ads that are just sent to political journalists and not necessarily played on real tv? There isn't even any talking in it. Click through to watch, and also read a preview of a zinger to be delivered in North Carolina today! Click to view From Obama's prepared remarks for a rally in Raleigh, today:

Terrible news: if Obama wins, you have to love America! That's right, New Yorkers have given the game away—all the hipster Obama gear and unconcealed excitement at his candidacy means no longer can we hide behind our secret glee at the utter rejection of our values and lifestyle by "Real America." If it's a landslide, we're screwed. Do we really want our smirking appropriation of the gung-ho patriotic vernacular (America—fuck yeah!) to suddenly become... sincere? As Doree Shafrir writes in today's Observer, some New Yorkers are becoming dangerously proud of their country.