Still a little red from your trip to the beach this weekend? The Danish Cancer Society wants everyone to know that tanning kills, and that visiting a tanning salon is a very, very bad idea. So they came up with this awesomely scary ad, which you can watch for yourself after the jump. But if you ask us, it may also be the perfect storyline for the series finale of E!'s Sunset Tan.
Hey, here's an idea: If you're a would-be inventor with more ideas than time or engineering skill or business sense, why not just start a blog with all your wacky ideas? Then if somebody actually takes one and invents it, they can give you a cut of the profits. Why, that's just clever enough to be an entry on "Ideas By Chuck," a blog which has much better ideas than many places that are actually paid to come up with things! Chuck admits "I don't have the resources or passion to make these ideas reality," but he does "hope this blog makes the world a better place." And how could it not? Three of our favorite of ideas from Chuck, below. Office supplies, porn, and fried foods all play a role!
The notorious, mysterious, and sexy American Apparel ad spoofer raises so many philosophical questions: What is art? What is advertising? What is porn? And does showing blowjobs count as "sexual equality?" The spoofer has a long history of drawing female genitalia (and dildos). But now he or she has made the leap to showing penises for the cause-something Dov Charney can only dream of. Click through for the most overt (possibly NSFW, although it's just a drawing) example:
The ad industry is home to even more barely-functioning alcoholics than related fields like media or pest control. While the average reporter at least waits until his last story is filed to hit the bar, ad agencies are installing bars right there in-house, so shaky, sweating employees can get some sips of their sweet, sweet medicine to help them focus on the task of thinking up jingles. Ha, no really it's all a very glamorous, Mad Men type of swinging party thing. At least that's what they want you to think.
You may never find a better moment in history to marvel at the craven pseudo-patriotism of international corporations than now, when all the world's major consumer companies are fighting to ingratiate themselves to Chinese consumers. That's China, the Red Menace! Did you know that Pepsi ran a promotion changing the color of its cans to red to honor China('s communism)? It's true! Did you know McDonald's ads now say "I'm lovin it when China wins"? The traitorous scum! Where is the xenophobic backlash? Also, ad execs are scoffing at the robot-like sameness of all these new commercials touting various companies' Chinese patriotism. Below, one McDonald's spot, and one Pepsi spot. Do the Chinese really scream so much?
Did you know that in the UK it's actually illegal for liquor companies to imply that their product will help you achieve "seduction, sexual activity or sexual success"? Crazy, right? But the byproduct is that even George Clooney-the sexiest man alive (according to women or whatever)-has to play like a good boy in his European ads for Martini vermouth. Oh, he's so couth. He just wants to twirl that fake mustache and meet you later on to get to know the real you. Don't believe the hype, ladies; he can't love you like a blogger can. Scoff at his act, after the jump:
How could the CW ever top their infamous "OMFG" Gossip Girl ad campaign that set uppity tongues a wagging earlier this year? By embracing the finger-pointing criticisms and couple them with more sexy pictures of the sun-browned, nubile cast. Like the one here! And the two below. Oh, you know. After the:
Kenneth Cole is not just a middling designer and outspoken advocate for responsible journalism; he's also, for reasons we can't fathom (narcissism), his own advertising copywriter. A bad advertising copywriter. It's not every CEO of a massive fashion brand that's too cheap to hire someone to write his own billboard taglines. But in Kenneth Cole's case, coming up with them only robs him of mere seconds of thought. That's how his poor clothing line ends up with billboards like this one on Houston St.—presumably the balls are there to distract you from the slogan itself:
New York Life has a foolproof plan for its new online promotion: they let any member of the internet riff-raff go on their website and submit three-word slogans, which are displayed in the company's trademark blue box. Looks just like the real thing. I can see why they want some new ideas, considering what they have now. Jeez. [via Afreak]
Well, it's been a year or two since the corporate world started its "green" advertising revolution, and it's worked. The problem is solved! The problem being the fickle consumer's desire to hear companies talk about how "green" they are. "After 18 months, levels of concern on any issue tend to drop off," explains one marketing wizard. Now we can all sit back and feel good about what we've accomplished! The earth is still destined for environmental ruin, but at least we'll be subjected to less marketing bastardization like this:
The predicted awfulness of CBS' upcoming American Idol-style ad jingle show Jingles has been confirmed, months before it actually debuts. It seems that-incredibly-hundreds of people have already auditioned for the show, and many of the audition tapes are available on YouTube. Ad Age has viewed them, and predicts a "trainwreck." We only have the stomach to bring you one of the auditions; below, a sample jingle for "Fruit It Up" candy, from a bizarre pink-clad singing duo. What would Gene Simmons have to say about this?
The image you see on top is a standard ad for Mad Men, AMC's series about hard-paryting admen in the good old days that conveniently advertises itself everywhere. The image on the bottom is what you see when you visit iTunes to purchase the full season of Mad Men. The difference? On iTunes, the man has had his cigarette taken away. Steve Jobs does not understand the point of this show at all. Click to enlarge the Apple-approved scrubbing of our culture.
If you didn't think reality television could get any better than a show about people singing ad jingles and being judged by scandal-plagued former Wal-Mart marketing chief-turned ad world fameball Julie Roehm, think again! Roehm-whose flirting once cost an ad agency a $580 million contract-can't judge all those jingles by herself. So CBS, in full scrambling mode, has selected another judge who is equally respected in the advertising industry: KISS burnout and sex tape star Gene Simmons!
Here's what you've been waiting for, if you're an eccentric millionaire looking to invest a fortune in off-the-wall, possibly crack-inspired schemes: 40 business ideas from actor Gary Busey! These come in the form of 40 different ads for some obscure business phone company (whatever). The point is, Gary Busey really appears to just be riffing all of these off the top of his head so he can leave and get a drink. Bear hair dye? Oh Gary, you are an incorrigible national treasure! Two clips of his wacky wisdom, below:
It must really kill Dov Charney not to be able to advertise his hipster robot clothes via hardcore porn movies starring himself and a bevy of 18-year-old Eastern European beauties recently unloaded from a shipping crate in the dead of night. So the pervy American Apparel CEO and hero to the downtrodden keeps edging as close to that vision as possible. His latest effort: a foreign ad featuring a model licking some dude's boxer shorts-and some believe the dude in them is Dov himself, based solely on the hairy legs. Full ad that will haunt you, below:
Remember Julie Roehm, the fabulous woman that Wal-Mart hired to be its head of marketing, then fired because she was fucking around with her married subordinate and hitting WM ad agencies up for jobs and being unwilling to become a part of the "Wal-Mart culture" by painting her office grey or whatever? Then she sued them in a huge, public, scandalous lawsuit. Emily Gould dubbed her the "Wal-Mart Ho," which I am too classy to endorse but not too classy to repeat. Anyhow, Roehm is about to become a reality show star! Is she the "next Paula Abdul"? Or just the Julia Allison of advertising?
Everyone's nervous about the Olympics this year. The Chinese government's politicization of the ceremonies reminded sponsors and spectators alike of its human rights record, particularly in Tibet. Broadcasters are pushing back against restrictions on TV reporting. Athletes are concerned about air quality. In short, the Olympics are the same politicized mess they've always been, and more commercial than ever. How to keep everyone focused on the athletic action? Easy, just keep the cameras pointed at the lithe young hardbodies that flock to this competition every four years. And if that seems like a lecherous degradation of a noble event, remember this: the Olympians themselves are notoriously bad at keeping their hands off one another once they get eliminated from competition. Remind yourself by browsing this photo gallery of hot Olympic athletes past and present, curated by intern Nicola Gherson.
Our Jezebel friends found this while looking for paparazzi photos. They were kind enough to share it with us! It is from Orange Country, Florida. It was, obviously, just paid for by some crazy local businessman. We appreciate how concise and polite it is. So much political debate is so strident these days, don't you think? This is a nice corrective. [Splash]
The New York subway poster art vandal, despite receiving widespread acclaim from the cognoscenti who determine who's hot these days, continues to work just as hard as when he was not yet being compared to Banksy (who, let's face it, is totally over now that we know who he is, maybe). He's retained his "ironic sloganeering" theme, and is moving strongly into "messing with faces," as well. Here are five of the anonymous subway vandal's latest ad remixes; steal them immediately, as investments:
Tim Horton's, a coffee chain that caters to the Canadian Menace, is kicking Starbucks' ass on Facebook. There is a group called "Biodegradable Cups at Tim Hortons" with more than 10,000 members. This means that Starbucks could use some of T.H.'s online marketing savvy. And, that Canadians are suicidally bored. [Ad Age]
