Che is a Belgian men's magazine. So it's not too concerned about pleasing women, or what women think, or not royally pissing off women in general. Here's the only thing Che wants from women: their ass! Amirite bro? Gimme some! The ad pictured at left shows gals strolling around with tags on their ass that say "Please Squeeze Here." Ha, yes ma'am! High five! Whatever the Belgian equivalent of the National Organization for Women is is really asleep at the wheel. Below, three more spots from Che's meat-themed ad campaign, proving once again that Belgian sex advertising is truly a world unto itself:

Some of Microsoft's new $300 million ad campaign was produced on Macs. Ooo, burn. [PC World via Adscam]

This ridiculous gun-owning man whose voice sounds like Keith Olbermann's crappy Bill O'Reilly impression, is concerned that Obama will tax his guns and ammo, which has something to do with gas prices. Obama voted to ban deer-hunting ammunition! "Where is this guy from?" gun guy asks, in what is the single least subtle attempt to paint Obama as a Muslim foreigner ever. (Where is he from? Canada? Saudi Arabia?? San Francisco??) This is a real-life NRA ad that will run in Colorado and New Mexico. Our favorite part is the Dick Cheney-looking guy loading up a rifle as a fat kid stares at him. Enjoy your precious freedoms, assholes!

Google will now sell ads for the keyword "abortion" to religious groups as well as secular groups. It's an issue of fairness. Also, more "abortion" money for Google. [NYT]

As Wall Street burns and the government plunders our tax dollars to uphold the mere appearance of economic stability, financial companies are turning to their most trusted advisers for answers: ad agencies. Because when shit is really fucked up, the only way to take advantage of the situation is to convince the public that you are slightly less fucked up than all your competitors. After the jump, we look at what some financial companies are saying right now—and then tell you what they should be saying, if only they weren't scared of, you know, total ruin: Zurich Financial Services Group Aim: "wanted to directly address the recent economic turmoil." What they say: The company is "here to give you real help in an uncertain world, backed by the financial strength and stability of the Zurich American Insurance Company...It's help that's here now." What they should say: "What with the recent economic turmoil, why not go with Zurich? It's named after a city that's not in America, where everything is going to hell." Rockefeller & Company Aim: Reassure people they're stable. What they say: "Responsible and stable wealth management through turbulent times." What they should say: "Rockefeller stands for Rich. And that will never change, yo." Wachovia Securities Aim: Get people to invest again. What they say: "Think long term." What they should say: "Don't be a pussy." AXA Equitable Aim: Reassure people they're stable. What they say: "In these chaotic times, there is a financial services company dedicated to redefining commitment." (WTF?) What they should say: "Yes, we have a 3-letter name that starts with "A." But we're not AIG. Look it up." AIG Aim: To slink away quietly. What they say: Nothing, since they pulled their ads. What they should say: "Nothing" seems to be the right move. [NYT, WSJ]

Goldman Sachs has never had to depend on TV advertising. It's far too populist a medium for the king of investment banks. But now that Wall Street is dead, Goldman may have to actually go after the public at large. So Gawker video maven Richard Blakeley "recontextualized" some work by comedian Fritz Donnelly , ending up with this ad prototype that Goldman will likely want to steal. Pay attention, fancy financiers: this is how you sell to real people. Click to watch the future of American economic messaging.

Ad agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky made Microsoft's "I'm a PC" ads using Macs, according to a Flickr user who downloaded an image version of the ad from Microsoft's web site and perused its meta data. After Digital Daily posted the news, a Microsoft flack confirmed the news and said: "Agencies and production houses use a wide variety of software and hardware to create, edit and distribute content, including both Macs and PCs." Along with its ad agency, Microsoft's spokespeople in the "I'm a PC" campaign are also proud Apple product owners.Comedian Jerry Seinfeld used to include a Mac on the set of his sitcom and even appeared in an Apple ad once. Deepak Chopra wrote on the Huffington Post about how he prefers the iPod to nuclear weapons. A geek at an airport made a deep connection with Eva Longoria when he spotted her MacBook. Pharrell Williams encases his iPhone in gold. And finally, I heard Trig Palin tried to sell his iPod Shuffle on eBay, but failed and had to sell it off-line for a loss.

Online marketing companies: do we give them enough information about our lives? Emily Steel, a 24-year-old reporter for the WSJ, bravely uses herself as a guinea pig to determine that, no, these shadowy firms don't know quite enough about us to be able to target us with ads effectively. If the threat of missing out on perfectly customized ads doesn't convince Americans to throw open our private data to unaccountable corporations, I don't know what will: A couple of ad targeting firms let Steel look at what they had on her, and guess what: it was not totally accurate! They guessed that she liked luxury boats and was a newlywed, when actually she just had friends getting married, and has no boat. That's because tracking can't follow you across different computers, and guessing about demographics based on internet cookies is an inexact science. You might think that keeping these people in the dark would be a good thing, but Emily gives props to the firm that correctly pegs her as "someone who spends time exercising and socializing at bars and nightclubs." Psht, well that's not exactly ESP territory. She ends with this:

E! just aired an "exclusive" long version of an American Express advertisement involving Tina Fey and Martin Scorsese. That sounds like a cheap gimmick — we're supposed to get excited about first-run commercials now? — but it's actually a funny ad and the most interesting part of the Emmy awards so far, despite all the red carpet coverage. It also manages to make people briefly car about travel agents, even though the vast majority of them were made obsolete by the internet. Click the video icon to watch. UPDATE: With second ad.

A PR guy sent an email to the Anti-Advertising Agency, saying they could pay money in order to "participate in a brand integration campaign within the actual lyrics of one of the worlds most famous recording artists upcoming song/album." The AAA—an anti-advertising group—blogged about it, leading commenters to rightly call the PR guy a moron. Which caused the PR guy to threaten to sue the AAA for posting his email. Moron. [Wired via Radar]

You know what's gross? Germs. You know what's even grosser? A cupcake made out of hamster. This ad for Lifebuoy soap features an incredibly lifelike rodent dessert, to send the message "You eat what you touch." You can't deny it's an effective way to get the point across, although if you think about it too much (I'm eating my boss!) I imagine a backlash could start to form. Click through for an appetizing close-up picture.

Cabana Cachaca is a Brazilian brand of liquor. Nobody knows or cares how it tastes, because everyone is too busy talking about its remarkable skill at barely cutting nipples out of its advertising photos. Or sometimes leaving nipples in! It's an incredibly trite marketing strategy, but it succeeds. Go figure. Except in Chicago, where one billboard has been deemed Too Hot For The Public: Before:

First Microsoft hired proven Mac lover Jerry Seinfeld to crappily kick off its new $300 million ad campaign. Then the company dropped Seinfeld and brought in a slew of new celebrities to declare their love for PCs. Including hip hop star Pharrell—Another. Proven. Apple. Lover. Research! Payoffs! Do something, Microsoft! Pictured, Pharrell and his beloved golden iPhone. Here's a video where he describes his Mac tendencies. Fiasco! Ridiculous! And here's a brand new Microsoft ad with Pharrell declaring he is, in fact, a PC:

Microsoft and agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky's post-Seinfeld ads are out and we've embedded them below. They start with a guy who looks just like the actor who plays PC in Apple's Mac vs. PC ads saying "I'm a PC and I've been made into a stereotype." Then the commercials cut to shark-hunting adventurers, African teachers, graffiti artists, minor celebrtities and astronauts all also saying "I'm a PC." Then a voice-over begins: "Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently." Well, not actually. But Microsoft made billions copying Apple's operating system and its clearly decided to make more copying Apple's "Think Different" ad campaign — so why not just be out with it?Microsoft's new "I'm a PC" ad.

Could the current US economic meltdown destroy expensive coffee shops, as penniless consumers abandon Starbucks in order to huddle in unheated apartments brewing cheap coffee filtered through a sock? Folgers sure hopes so! The middlebrow coffee roaster is about to debut a big new ad campaign, hoping that now that your retirement fund has evaporated, you'll be interested in a lower-cost coffee experience. And hold onto your threadbare hats, newly poor caffeine addicts: Folgers has just made the "biggest innovation since the launch of decaf":

"We don't think enough people know Country Life is the only major British butter brand and John gets the message through loud and clear." Which is to say, The Sex Pistols' Johnny Rotten is the new face of Country Life Butter. Really. [NME]

At a time when our young people are getting STDs from playing too much beer pong and Christian politicos can't even keep their own kids celibate, America is plainly in need of a useful public sex education campaign. Well, we won't get it; this country can't even tolerate Eva Mendes' nipple yet. You have to go to Belgium, where sex in advertising is a form of art! Below is a new Belgian PSA that is perhaps the single best piece of televised sex ed I've ever seen. That ain't mouthwash, yall:

The doublespeak coming from Microsoft and its ad agency, Crispin Porter & Bogusky, in the wake of its "icebreaker" ad campaign featuring Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld, is amazing. Yesterday, Valleywag learned that Microsoft PR was revving up a spin campaign to go along with the ad campaign. Its aim: To make sure no one interpreted its shift to a series of anti-Mac ads as an abandonment of the Seinfeld spots. But Crispin Porter tells Gizmodo that it did, indeed, have another Seinfeld and Gates spot already produced. It's just not scheduled to air. Anytime. As of yet. It could air. Some day. If Microsoft wants it too. So does this mean Seinfeld will return? As a Microsoft flack told us yesterday, "possibly" and "potentially."

The top story at Gawker alumni-infested Radaronline.com right now is called "Coming to America," written by regular Radar Fresh Intelligence writer Jessica Ford. It's a feature all about the new HBO show Little Britain, and, as a tagline on the story notes, is also sponsored by the new HBO show Little Britain. Meaning it's a fancy version of an ad, made more interesting with editorial content. Tacky? A sign of desperation? Or just how things work these days in the wild internet computer blogosphere?! On one hand, the story is clearly marked as a sponsored item, so it's not deceptive. On the other hand, all the rest of the story's presentation, and its placement on the site, is identical to that of a normal Radaronline.com feature. On the third hand, we here at Gawker run "sponsored" blog posts from time to time, which are (clearly marked) ads that go up with our other posts (but aren't usually written by staff writers). The same tactic is also practiced by print media, and raises grumbles sometimes when items are too similar to standard editorial stories. But as long as there's disclosure, it's generally recognized as a matter of taste more than ethics. On the fourth hand, we now have a post about Radar's blog, and Radar's blog currently has a post up about Gawker! In this way, the whole blog world is one big clusterfuck of editorial cross-promotion, even when it's coincidental (and sometimes catty!). In the end readers will decide how much the ads on any site affect the credibility they give to it. If they get the feeling your site is shilling too relentlessly, you lose. Is model-loving billionaire Ron Burkle's role in funding Radar worth mentioning here? Probably not.

Instead of wasting its time telling people to "start wearing purple," Yahoo should air a campaign boasting of cool features it has that Google and MSN don't. Yahoo could start with a video much like the one here, which shows off a new Yahoo Search feature that allows searchers to play a song straight from a search results page. Google doesn't do that — and Yahoo shouldn't make Internet users read a Google-watching blog to find out that Yahoo does.