Now that enough time has passed following 21-year-old music video extra Matt Salinas's soggy, twisted night of rooftop hot tub captivity, it seems that he's ready to go before the syndicated celebrity newsmagazine cameras—here, he spends some couch time with Access Hollywood's— to share his experience with the world . Yes, the story is identical to the one he first told to Us, but his tale carries far more heft now that we can inspect his face for signs of lasting emotional damage. (Though it would have helped somewhat if Billy Bush had provided a doll upon which Salinas could show us the naughty places where Britney touched him.) Fortunately, it seems that our victim has pulled through his ordeal largely intact, as he practically tries to reach through the screen and high-five each and every one of us, his virtual frat brothers, and declare, "Dudes! I totally hit that!"