What plan(s) will the White House unveil for dealing with the "sagging" economic situation when everyone returns to Washington in September? Something small- or medium-sized that won't be so easy for Republicans in Congress to discard, we're led to believe. And somehow, this extremely narrow window of possibility does not eliminate the option of creating a new, reshuffled governmental department called either the "Department of Jobs" or "Department of Competitiveness." Oh, Jesus.

The New York Times reports that there's a split in the White House among (a) economic advisers who want the president to push for big, stimulative jobs programs that wouldn't necessarily pass Congress, but would sharpen the contrast with Republicans, and (b) political advisers who'd rather push a couple of Republican-friendly nothingburgers, like idle free-trade deals, that won't help the economy much but would allegedly portray the president as a compromiser who Gets Things Done — something they believe helps with independent voters by defusing the acrimony coming out of Washington.

In the White House's mind, confrontation with Republicans would only give way to "stunts," and we can't waste our time with those:

So far, most signs point to a continuation of the nonconfrontational approach - better to do something than nothing - that has defined this administration. Mr. Obama and his aides are skeptical that voters will reward bold proposals if those ideas do not pass Congress. It is their judgment that moderate voters want tangible results rather than speeches.

"If you're talking about a stunt, I don't think a stunt is what the American people are looking for," the White House press secretary, Jay Carney, told reporters on Wednesday. "They're looking for leadership, and they're looking for a focus on economic growth and job creation."

No Stunts, got it. Let's just stop bickering and grow the economy and create jobs! And yet this sort of cheesy bureaucratic reshuffling doesn't count as a stunt?

The administration may also merge the Department of Commerce, the Office of the United States Trade Representative and some economic divisions at the State Department into a new agency, administration officials said. Possible names include the Department of Jobs or the Department of Competitiveness.

But wouldn't the Department of Jobs or the Department of Competitiveness trample on the feet of the President's Council on Jobs and Competitiveness, whose two total meetings in six months have served as an inspiration to Americans look for guidance in these tough times? Better go with Department of Candy and Unicorns instead. It wouldn't get quite as much laughter on the campaign trail.

[Image via AP]