A group of Florida criminals have just pulled off one of the great produce-related crimes of our time. From the Times:

Last month, a gang of thieves stole six tractor-trailer loads of tomatoes and a truck full of cucumbers from Florida growers. They also stole a truckload of frozen meat. The total value of the illegal haul: about $300,000

The thieves had bided their time until the price of tomatoes skyrocketed following a freeze in Mexico. Then they set up a fake trucking company and and loaded up on hot veggies. Is this a scheme organized by America's children to jack up the price of vegetables so their parents will only serve them Snickers bars and chicken nuggets for dinner? Is there some gang of criminal health freaks out there, plotting crimes in a secret underground Yoga studio? Radical breatharian, liberating cukes from humans who see them as nothing but a garnish on a garden salad?

Watch out, world: Their veins flush with antioxidants, these crooks are probably near-immortal. [NYT; photo via Shutterstock]