If that photo isn't straight from the Book of Revelation, we suppose a shot of Dane Cook could be appended to complete the unholy triumvirate. Our apocalypse rations are ready (Franzia, tuna, batteries, The Rock Criterion Collection DVD) and the car is gassed up, so we're just going to strap in and wait for the Last Judgment. The Lord will reserve his harshest punishments for those with full DVRs.

WATCH

The Biggest Chinese Restaurant in the World [9:30 PM, Sundance Channel] - This documentary covers The West Lake Restaurant in Changsha, China, the largest restaurant in the world with 1,000 staff members, 300 chefs and 5,000 seats. Each week, West Lake goes through 700 chickens, 200 snakes, and 5 metric tons of vegetables. Something something something Kirstie Alley.

The Sarah Silverman Program [10:30 PM, Comedy Central] - This week, Defamer enthusiast Sarah tries to come up with new street slang so that she will be remembered. English actor Matt Berry guest stars in tonight's episode. Brian Posehn and Steve Agee continue to be the highlights of this show, as two of the most accurate portrayals of gay men with overactive pituitary glands on television today.

TiVo

Fat Pets [8 PM, Animal Planet] - As cute as fat animals are, it's terrible for their health. This show turns a harsh light on the United Kingdom, the fat pet capital of Europe. In all seriousness, there's no reason to overfeed your pet. The bloody Guinness Book had to stop keeping track of the "Largest Cat" record because they were afraid people would purposefully force-feed their cats.

In the Land of Women [9 PM, HBO] - Adam Brody plays a screenwriter who deals with a break-up by moving in with his sick grandmother. Luckily, a mismatched mother (Meg Ryan) and daughter (blasé Kristen Stewart) live across the street. The first act of the film is worth a watch, if you blinked when it was in theaters last year.

KILL

Barbara Walters Presents: The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2008 [10 PM, ABC] - Granted, we are still going to watch this online on Friday, but this special continues to dilute the meaning of the word fascinating. Tom Cruise, Will Smith, Rush Limbaugh, that pregnant man, Tina Fey and some other people who have already been interviewed a lot (and with less diffusion filtering).