Now that Britney is back and Joaquin is some sort of fake rapper, it's time to reinvent yourself. The various intelligence networks (Discovery, NatGeo) have a lot to offer tonight in the way of autodidactic pleasures, from realizing that your recent weight gain might be directly related to that dude you met at Ye Rustic to a former View co-host talking about weed. Or you can watch women who are staunchly in favor of Cocoa Puffs trash a rented house.

WATCH

I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant [9 PM, Discovery Health] - This essential piece of health art profiles women who gave birth without ever knowing they were pregnant, including a woman who squeezed one out during her bridal shower. Expect graphic reenactments and wildly clueless interviews. We don't know how they do things over at Discovery Health, but we're hoping they already have spin-offs in the pipeline (I Didn't Know I Had A Broken Clavicle, I Didn't Know That Snake Bit Me).

Shatner's Raw Nerve [10 PM, Biography] - William Shatner debuts his celebrity talk show with two falling-star-studded episodes. In the first, Shatner grills Valerie Bertinelli on her religious beliefs and refuses to settle for easy answers. At 10:30, he turns his piercing gaze on Tim Allen, who he presumably will back into a corner about the Wild Hogs sequel. Even though Bonnie Hunt probably had all these guests first, the Shat will show a new, more-taken-aback side of them.

TiVo

Marijuana Nation [10 PM, National Geographic] - Lisa Ling examines the most widely used illicit drug on the planet. NatGeo claims she has been reporting on it for years, though she probably had to experiment with it to get through The View tapings.

The Bad Girls Club [10 PM, Oxygen] - Third season premiere of this Real World ripoff/skankfest. Oxygen corrals seven self-proclaimed "bitches" and "sluts" into an LA mansion and watches what happens when they have access to a sex-toy vending machine and expensive, breakable things. Jezebel is all over this.

Sci-Trek: New York Earthquake [10 PM, Discovery] - This program examines the effects that an earthquake would have on New York City. We're suckers for shows involving visual effects from six years ago but derive very little pleasure from seeing NYC devastated. Knoxville, on the other hand, is free to sit and spin.

KILL

According to Jim [9 PM, ABC] - Now in its eighth season — we'll repeat that — its eighth season, AtJ continues to produce episodes where Jim (Jim Belushi) is given some sort of responsibility and then fails at it but turns it back on Cheryl (Courtney Thorne-Smith) who eventually turns her guilt over something back on Jim. We'll admit to watching the syndicated episodes of this show, and we liked Kimberly Williams-Paisley-Rascal Flatts-Chesney's acerbic but needy sister character, but she will not be appearing on the show after tonight's first epi.

Party Monsters: Cabo [10 PM, E!] - Nine event planners are thrown into a Cabo Villa where they will plan parties for celebrities and compete for a six-figure contract. Tonight's celebrity host is Lil' Jon. Finally, a show that event planners can live through vicariously ("What is she doing! You never take the caterer's first bid! This is totally unreasonable!").