Our time on this earth is fleeting, so please learn at least these two lesso's from tonight's programming: Dump that lame boyfriend and do not spank your children. Or spank your boyfriend and dump your children with a guy who looks like Steve Wilkos. WATCH Hollywood's Baddest: Boyfriends [8 PM, E!] - Take note, ladies and gentlemen, for characteristics that your current boyfriend might share with these celebrity a-holes. Sometimes you don't realize your relationship is destined for failure until you see celebrity footage/re-enactments that eerily remind you of the person sitting next to you on the sofa, trimming his nails onto a plate that minutes ago held a series of Hot Pockets.

Super-Manny [9 PM, ABC] - You read that correctly, it's a Supernanny spin-off. Mike Ruggles, teacher/developmental psychologist, drops in on the Marko family of Temecula, California. Male nannies take their share of flack, but at least now they have something new to talk about around the playground water fountain. We're not sure if this is just a one-off special, but Mike's bio on his company's site indicates that it's probably a series. TiVo

The Break-Up [8 PM, USA] - Have you gotten enough Jennifer Aniston this week? Well, if you missed her turn as a crazysexyuncool friend of Liz and Jenna's on 30 Rock last night, check out her comedy stylings in this love letter to relationship problems and condominium ownership. Lock N' Load [9 PM, History] - Friday night is a time for exploration, and what better way to learn about your world than one of the History Channel's many war/weapons-related shows. The history of the rifle is explored, but we doubt this will be much more than a rifle puff-piece, ignoring the danger it has brought to Hollywood's elite. KILL

A trifecta of unexciting game show bookings illustrates just how far Friday night TV has come since the golden age of TGIF (Full House, Family Matters, Perfect Strangers, Just the Ten of Us). Sigh. Deal or No Deal [8 PM, NBC] - Guest: Tony Hawk. Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? [8 PM, FOX] - Guests: Deborah Norville, actor/baller Rick Fox Don't Forget the Lyrics [9 PM, FOX] - Guest: Mark Cuban.