After last night's electoral catharsis, we unfortunately have to return to reality and a world full of malicious pirates and Jay Mohr sitcoms. WATCH Vanguard [10 PM, Current TV] - In this week's episode of Current's best documentary series, Kaj Larsen searches for modern day pirates in the Strait of Malacca. Larsen speaks to sailors who have been attacked and interviews pirate trackers who watch over one of the most important shipping lanes in the world. It's because of reports like this that we will never take a cruise. One minute you're sipping a Mai Tai, the next someone is screaming at you in Tagalog and kidnapping your bond company rep.

Stylista [9 PM, CW] - This week the contestants plan a birthday party for Anne Slowey's bratty niece and choose party guests for Elle's "Trend" page. As much as we can't abide The Devil Wears Prada rip-offs, Slowey's performance and the pithy insights into the world of fashion are starting to seem more like an homage than a theft. TiVo South Park [10 PM, Comedy Central] - One more gasp of election-y fun. As the town of South Park celebrates in the streets following the presidential election, the President-elect catches everyone off guard, including the current President, when he shows up at the White House early. Why can't life imitate art, even if it means that everything would be poorly animated and unnecessarily profane?

True Blood [10 PM, HBO] - Even though new episodes air on Sundays, we had to give True Blood some metaphorical ink. In tonight's repeat, Bill (Stephen Moyer) violates the vampire code by becoming a little too concerned for Sookie (Anna Paquin). Jason (Ryan Kwanten) and Amy (Lizzy Caplan) reach a new low to satisfy their thirst for blood. With vampires hotter than ever, we doubt HBO will be pulling a Grey's Anatomy on Defamer fave Lafayette anytime soon. KILL

Gary Unmarried [8:30 PM, CBS] - Jay Mohr has found another sitcom to jazz up with his straight-faced deliveries and limited range of physical expression. In tonight's episode, Mohr's character, Gary, meets his girlfriend's (Jaime King) friends. We like Jay Mohr's oeuvre a lot, especially his work in Go and Pay It Forward, but this is not helping the sitcom return to prominence as television art form. He's definitely been working out, though. Redemption Song [11 PM, FUSE] - Professional wrestler Chris Jericho hosts this street edition of American Idol. The contestants are girls who made mistakes in their past, like Angelica, a former child actress and homeless drug addict, and Farah, a go-go dancer who had been kicked out of 10 schools by the time she was 14. One of these extraordinarily haunted vocalists will get her redemption in the form of a recording deal. Is therapy also included in the prize package? Were these girls too busy knifing their parole officers to wait in line for the AI auditions? This is the essence of inessential television.