You'll be sitting on your hands all night, bristling with excitement for Tuesday's big event: The launch of the new Blackberry Bold! Wait, no, it was something else, something with that black guy and all that hope and something about Tina Fey. (We haven't recovered from pumpkin-shaped jello shots.) WATCH Why I Ran [11 PM, Biography] - Fugitives who led cops on dangerous high-speed chases watch the news coverage for the first time and explain their side of the story. Tonight's episode features a man who robbed a gas station and led cops through Indianapolis after his wife and child left him. This show makes celebrity joyrides seem like driving test practice.

Gossip Girl [8 PM, CW] - Serena (Blake Lively) discovers that new love interest Aaron (John Patrick Amedori) has been hiding something. Blair (Leighton Meester) babysits the daughter of a Yale alumnus to improve her standing with the Yalie set. Jenny (Taylor Momsen) and Agnes (Willa Holland) plan a risky fashion show. Who cares if GG causes teen pregnancy? Taboo [10 PM, National Geographic] - For everyone that kneels at the altar of self-hatred, check out tonight's episode: "Extreme Punishment." Learn how criminals around the world are punished while feeling better that the most you'll ever receive for stealing those office supplies is a figurative slap on the wrist. TiVo SNL Presidential Bash 2008 [9 PM, NBC] - Saturday Night Live squeezes out those last couple of drops of blood from the election year turnip with a two hour special featuring new material and political skits from the archives. Using Tina Fey's genius as a smokescreen for the show's complete inability to spoof Obama (hopefully) ends this week.

Machines of Malice [9 PM, Discovery] - When you're feeling violently ambitious this week, scan through this love letter to the guillotine, electric chair and garrote. Unleash those Elisabeth Hasselbeck fantasies. KILL

Worst Week [9:30 PM, CBS] - Sam (Kyle Bornheimer) freaks out when Mel's niece chokes back the wedding ring that Mel's grandmother (Olympia Dukakis) passed down to him. For other television shows that used the popular "swallow the ring" plot device, see Scrubs, Andy Richter's short-lived Quintuplets, Friends, 7th Heaven and multiple episodes of America's Funniest Home Videos. First Class All the Way [9 PM, BRAVO] - Bravo's newest glam-reality series features a luxury travel agency and the inevitable drama that occurs when privileged women embark on champagne-soaked, pre-packaged vacations. Tonight's premiere introduces us to high-end travel expert Sara Duffy and her concierge team as they narrowly escape disaster when a client loses her passport. We're going to watch our building's security camera feed on the wall monitor.