After spending the day mourning a new void in the world of celebrity fashion dissing, count on Monday night's powerhouse female-driven lineup to get you out from under the covers. WATCH Gossip Girl [8 PM, CW] - This week, Blair convinces slime-ball Chuck to seduce Vanessa in retaliation for Vanessa trying to blackmail Blair, and—surprise, surprise—Serena isn't on her best behavior during her parents' lavish party. Even if you've told everyone in the office that you're catching up on script coverage tonight, we all know you'll be tuning in to see which Upper East Side residents have the hottest chemistry, style sense and [fake] eating disorder.

Samantha Who [9:30, ABC] - After Sam realizes how many vaccinations and precautions she will need to take to go to Africa, she decides to ditch her charitable trip and hide out in her friend's apartment instead. At least she didn't stiff a land-mine victim on some reconstructive surgery. The Hills [10 PM, MTV] - Finally! The trip to Cabo! Will Audrina hook up with Justin Bobby? Will Justin hook up with other girls? What will Lauren say this time? We can't wait to watch ideal companion Spencer try to break up his sister's relationship. TiVo

My Own Worst Enemy [10 PM, NBC] - Christian Slater's spy-assassin attempts to stop a terrorist attack while his suburban dad alter-ego/id/super-ego tries to deal with some strange memories. Some people like the softer, gentler Slater, but we only watch MOWE's violent, espionage, groping parts. Scream Queens [10 PM, VH1] - Ten unknown actresses compete for the part of "Scream Queen" in Saw VI. Ignore all the parts where host Shawnee Smith jokes about dating homicidal maniacs and compares acting in scary movies to punk rock. Also, ignore the nagging feeling that there is probably going to be Saw's VII - XXXIV. KILL

Dr. 90210 [10 PM, E!] - Drama abounds as Dr. Robert Rey attempts to mends his relationship with his mother-in-law and gives a pair of sisters matching DD's. We're worried because Veterinarian 90026 told us that our cat might have renal problems. Jon & Kate Plus 8 [9 PM, TLC] - Maybe people in Elizabethtown, PA (not that Elizabethtown) give a shit about how Jon and Kate manage their eight kids, no one we know is tuning in this week to watch as Jon takes a select few of the kids to a baseball game. Will the interracial sextuplets have to fight it out to the death? That would be Passions good.