How to Keep Your Job: Be More Phony
Remember those crazy days when what mattered at work was whether you were good at the job (and if you were loathed/feared by your coworkers and subordinates, well, so much the better)? In the recession's latest weird warping of accepted mores, we're now being told that being nice and upbeat is the best way to dodge a pink slip. A Harvard Business Review article, "How to Protect Your Job in a Recession," identifies the characteristics of "recession survivors" as "cheerful, likable, generous contributors, and not necessarily the most skilled and proficient."
If that doesn't sound like you, the authors suggest brushing up on those acting skills, arranging your face into the shape of a smile, and fooling everyone into believing you're not totally bitter and hate-filled. Sure, all that repressed anger and tension will cause high blood pressure, migraines, and eventually a heart attack, but at least you won't have been out of work.
