Though things on the Britney Spears front had been quiet enough over the past handful of hours that the ambulance sirens that had been ringing in our heads since late last night had finally started to subside, there's now an update: As one might expect in a case in which a troubled mother has been placed on Super Double 5150 Hold 72-Hour Mental Lockdown Watch, the court has awarded sole custody of Spears' children to comparative paragon of stability Kevin Federline and suspended her visitation rights until, in the oddly unedited words of an exasperated child-services commissioner, "This Britney person can keep her shit together for, like, five consecutive hours. I fucking give up, really. I'm going to Cabo until March. If she still wants the kids back then, she can call me." [Access Hollywood]